I feel guilty

So my little cousin (who's also my good friend) lost her daughter at 22 weeks. I keep avoiding her because I kinda feel guilty because my daughter is alive, and I feel like she deserves to have a baby more then I do. I know it sounds terrible, but I hope that someone can at least understand where she is coming from. I know it's doesn't even directly affect me but I just feel so guilty about the whole thing.

I personally find it a little upsetting that you'd be avoiding her right now. She probably needs someone to talk to, and if the two of you were close before this, I'm sure she's feeling more alone than she already was.

The only thing you can do is be there for her.

I was the same way. I had my daughter and two weeks later we were at the funeral for my best friend who's son passed away at 37 weeks   It was terrible. I felt like the worst person because I got to have my baby and she lost hers  

Quoting *Berrrr:" I was the same way. I had my daughter and two weeks later we were at the funeral for my best friend who's ... [snip!] ... son passed away at 37 weeks   It was terrible. I felt like the worst person because I got to have my baby and she lost hers  "

That's excatly how I feel. My baby was a surprise and her and her husband were TTC for the longest time. I don't feel like it's fair that she lost her baby that she was trying for and mine survived that wasn't planned and I know I'm terrible person for avoiding her, but I can't justify having her come over where My daughter and I are when she just lost her daughter. I think I would feel different if they weren't both girls.

I have read all of your post and you should not feel guilty. This is coming from me who lost my son at 21 and half weeks. I had many friends that felt the same as you and I told them not too. God took my son along with others who what reason we don't know but he needed our babies. NOW my friends were there for me and I did feel along but even with them around I felt alone. Also I asked not for them to be around me with there kids for a while after my sons death. It was very hard and to painful. I was not mad at them for having kids but just could not be around them. Now it may have been different if this was not my first son born which past. Bottom line DON'T ever feel guilty for having babies but maybe let the kids stay with dad or grandma for a little while after when you are around them and talking and being there for them.