re: Don't know what to do

Quoting Drwordsspecialed:" <blockquote><b>Quoting MommaNoodle:</b>" it's possible. once you become pregnant, ... [snip!] ... have had all the test to make sure it is not from the 1st abortion. I took the pill so that my body miscarried the first time."

it's cool. i got it now. but my second paragraph still stands. you must make the decision that is right for YOU. if he doesn't want to be around, or even if he is flip flopping between wanting it and not wanting it, i would just plan to mostly be on your own with the baby, if you keep it. but let it be what you know is right for YOU and your life. let him make his decision and you make yours. good luck!

Quoting Drwordsspecialed:" I am 5 weeks pregnant only three weeks after having an abortion. I am decanted because all I have wanted ... [snip!] ... one dead beat father in my ex husband and don't want to repeat. I will be depressed either way. I have no idea what to do!!"

I'm not going to insult your intelligence by suggesting things I know you have already considered. This such a personal choice and only you know what your pros and cons would be for each option. You might write those down and weigh them against one another. Unfortunately we really can't help you in that decision. I wish you the very best and I hope whatever you decide to do works out well for you. *hugs*

No one can truly tell you what the best option is but you. Nothing in life is guaranteed. Having a spouse doesnt mean he will be supportive. I have had a few friends lose the father of their children (due to accidents) leaving them no other choice but to raise the child without the father. It is your body, your child, and your life. My advice is to not let anyone tell you something is impossible. Children are a responsibility but a blessing as well.

You have to think about you, your 8 year old, and your unborn baby in this decision and decide what is best for all parties involved. I am very pro-life but at the same time, I am not walking in your shoes. This is your choice to make. But don't let the fear of being alone force you to make a decision that you don't want. There are single mothers that do it alone every single day. If he truly loves you, he will respect your decision no matter what you choose. It's your body. You aren't forcing him to be a parent. If it was me (for whatever it's worth) I would think long and hard about what I wanted. If I chose that having the baby and raising it was what was best for me then I would do it. If he wanted to leave, I'd tell him to kick rocks. Just please make the decision YOU want. YOU have to live with it, not him. Good luck sweetie!

Thank you for the comments. While i do not know what to do still I was looking to hear what others in my shoes had done or how they came to their decision as I come to mine. Right now my emotions are high and my decision continues to change. Thank you again.

I had an abortion in June, which I had been pressured into by my husband, who in turn I guess was pressured into it by our life circumstances, we could not provide for a new baby at the moment   I was pregnant again 4 months after the abortion, so I understand what you are going through. I chose to have another abortion- our situation had not changed, and my husband once again said he would not support my decision to continue the pregnancy; i could not bring up 3 children on my own, it wouldnt be fair on the children we already have let alone a new baby. Also to have kept that pregnancy when I was still in exactly the same situation would have made the first abortion and all I went through afterwards to have been in vain   those were my reasons for getting another one.

In a way the 2nd time is easier, in that it's chartered territory at least and you know what to expect etc... but in other ways it's harder, it's definately had an impact on the marriage this time, and my self-esteem and depression is perhaps worse (although it's difficult to say, really! i hadn't had time to recover from the loss of the first one to be able to objectively say which was harder)

despite all the pain i feel, i still think i made the right decision both times, and tbh even more so with the 2nd. just for the fact that the first one upset me so much that to have gone on and had a baby right after would have meant, in my eyes, that I had gone through the abortion for nothing   but that's just personally how i felt about my own pregnancies, it's not what i would say about yours or anyone else's

It;s too soon for me to be able to tell you how much worse 2 consecutive abortions is than one abortion, i'm sorry i cannot advise you, all i can tell you is what i've been through and how i felt and still feel. you can message me either on the thread or in private if you have any specific questions i don't mind replying but idk if i would be of any help! xx