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Thanks you guys!

Does your DH ever plan on seeing his son again?

In Ohio he'd still pay support unilaterally the child was adopted and important pretty sure you can't sign rights over unless someone is present to adopt.

he can relinquish rights but that just means he can't pick him up or take him. And i don't think she can get back pay of SHE cancels the support papers.

In some states yes you may still have to pay child support even if rights are terminated. Also most states require that there is a person to adopt child before rights can be terminated, aka biological mother would have to be married.

I've never been in this situation.. but I can see both sides.
I can see where he would be tempted, seeing as how it sounds like he's never really bonded with this child properly, the child has a father figure already, did I read that right? And that apparently, this kid's mom has a good job and no longer needs him as source of money.   It sounds like she has no real intention of allowing this child to know his real father, at least, she's not into letting them develop a real relationship..
However, signing over parental rights because this woman is a bitch, doesn't seem quite right to me.. I mean, this is his child . If it was important to him, he could try to fight for more visitation in court.. Taking the easy way out and signing over parental rights isn't necessarily the right route when it comes to your child. Imagine him having to explain that someday? "Sorry, I signed you over because I didn't see the importance of maintaining a relationship with you and it was just easier." I think that would really hurt a kid.
Or maybe not.
Ultimately, I can see both sides of the argument and it's up to your SO.
I think you're doing the right thing by standing by him no matter what.
That's a toughie.

Quoting October Rust:" It doesn't look like it. When I asked him about what he would do after she said she was never going ... [snip!] ... if she's going to make it problematic I probably just shouldn't try. It would most likely end up making things harder for him.""

Aww, that's sad. Custody battles suck so hard. I can understand where he's coming from. I don't know much about CS and all that but I know once you terminate rights, the parent has absolutely no say in what goes on with his child. It's a tough decision.

Your husband doesn't want to fight to be part of his child's life?

In NH, a parent cannot sign off their rights unless there is someone else taking over. Meaning he can't sign off his rights unless the boy is being adopted orsomeone else is taking responsibility for him. The state of NH will not allow just one parent to be fully responsible for a child in case of emergency or death.

I'm pretty sure that she would have to have someone to take parental responsibility for her son. The courts around here frown on terminating parental rights and won't "bastardize" a child like that.

Quoting Kay plus Three:" In NH, a parent cannot sign off their rights unless there is someone else taking over. Meaning he can't ... [snip!] ... for him. The state of NH will not allow just one parent to be fully responsible for a child in case of emergency or death."

I think in Kansas, a parent can sign over their rights, but they're still responsible for child support until the kid is adopted (if ever). A girl I knew a long time had her BD "give up" his rights, but he still paid CS.

That was well over 15 years ago though, the laws could have changed by now.