re: Custody

<blockquote><b>Quoting Brody & Astoria's Mama!:</b>" Aw   I know that feeling, I've always tried to be really nice with my ex just so he wouldn't pull this ... [snip!] ... pull this kind of stuff but of course he does anyways :/ I hope it works out for you & you get more time w/ your son!"</blockquote>




It took 3 years from the big custody fight, me and him are finally ok, we play nice now, because we have to, Dean benifits from it, and I can forgive him for what he's done, I will never forget and I will never not be on my toes, he dosnt want to pay child support and I don't go after him, I just threaten him with it, and he fights mma, proffesionally he knows I could screw him bad, so he's very scared of me and I enjoy it  

You can't really complain that he never sees them and then tell him that he can't spend more time with them when he says he want's to get a place of his own and get his smurf together.

I understand that he apparently probably has a past, but all of this drama probably could have been avoided if you were a little more open minded about giving him a chance to be the father he wants to be now.

Instead of saying "no way you're getting them every other week" maybe you should have said something along the lines of "I'm not comfortable jumping into that right now, but I respect that you want to be a more involved parent. Lets go to mediation and get some bi weekly supervised visits and as they progress and you become more stable, we will work on giving you more visits and having them unsupervised."

People tend to have emotional reactions when they feel like they're being back into a corner.

You two have children together and nothing is going to change that. I wouldn't want to have to explain to my child that they don't know their dad because I didn't let him have any visitation. Even if it doesn't work out, at least you know you tried.

As for the drama in the middle. The judge isn't going to want to hear about who said what, who got angry with X, what you said in a text or an email about hating life, not wanting the children. Because plenty of depressed people are parents and frankly, you're not going to court for the past, you're going to court for the future.

Quoting Red Bottom:" You can't really complain that he never sees them and then tell him that he can't spend more time with ... [snip!] ... of depressed people are parents and frankly, you're not going to court for the past, you're going to court for the future. "

I get what you're saying. However, I wasn't complaining that he's not in their lives I was mentioning it as something that may or may not help in court. I've heard people say witnesses, texts, emails matter in court and I've heard otherwise. I'm sure a lawyer will help me that   I didn't literally say "no way buddy! not happening" to his idea. I said "Ex, I don't think it's in the best interest. If you want to be involved more with them, maybe consider moving closer or making some changes for their safety. Unfortunately every other week is neither logical (my son starts school this year) nor best for them." Like I said, he doesn't actually have a new-found interest in them. Commonly, he says this when he has a new girlfriend or his grandmother has been on his ass to fight me for custody. The past 2 years, he's done nothing to make it happen. He's couch surfed & blown his money on alcohol/drugs, video games & tattoo stuff. Which he is still doing now. I do not think anytime in the near future he'll be getting a house, like I said in my original post. I'm considering getting sole custody & a safety-focused parenting plan for the future ;)