For those with a past, how much will you tell?

When it comes to your children? I don't mean little kids obviously, I mean older ones. I have one of "those" families that just likes to talk. I have two boys about to turn 13 and so far impress the hell out of me. I'll get more in to detail in a bit.

I don't think I'd ever be straight up with her until she is like in college and even then I would probably only divulge everything if I saw her going down the same path I went down

I will never tell him certain things. He doesn't need to know.

There are some things my kids don't need to know about.

It really depends on what it is. There is some things I rather my child not know.

I would keep all of it from my children, if possible.

I am very honest with my oldest, me and his dad have decided when he need to know about something we will tell him...
Same for my other 2 kids with my husband, I've had more of a *past* than him, but i'll prob use deans dads experiences with them since they know him and hes around alot....

My mon was an angel, my dad was pretty bad, and I am right up there with him my mom was always very honest with me about him... I love her for that, she never sugar coated anything, didn't change my feelings for him, in fact I understood him better,

I want my kids to know no matter what happens, they will never be somewhere, or do anything I haven't done... Or don't understand...

dean had a fascination with *gangsters* I'm assuming he was hanging with older kids at school, because he thought a gangster was just a
rapper, which I could understand, some are , but that's not what makes a *gangster* he got in trouble at school for saying he was a gangster...

Called his dad, and we took him to lynwood by co jail, he saw 2 people get arerested his dad tried to get him out of car and he freaked... we told him about jail, what *real* gangsters do, how they hurt people, do bad things, listened because he knows we did it, been there... we asked him if he wanted to have a life where we were always getting locked up... because we were gangsters...
he obviously said no,
Do u understand why we don't want that for u??
We went to school, and now we work and have beautiful homes and nice cars and go to disneyland all the time, do u see gangsters at disneyland  
U can't be a gangster at disneyland!!  

Its hard but I'm not ashamed of anything I've done I rather my kids
see me and know anythings possible,
I'm far from an angel, I won't pretend to be something because in the end, I need them to know the real me, and from only me...

Whatever I felt he needed to know. I'm not just going to openly tell him about everything, but if the situation calls for it or he asks me about sometime I will tell him anything he wants to know. I won't lie to him. Maybe talking to him about it could keep from going down the same paths I have gone down.

I will tell them what seems appropriate when they seem ready or needing to know for some reason. They mostly need to know who I am NOW...and if they need to know stuff about who I used to be, then I'll tell them that too. I guess like in any relationship, you dela with what is relevant. If something in my past is relevant, we'll talk about it. If not, probably not. I've got nothing to hide but I also feel no need to confess. I am human. I have made mistakes. I make mistakes now. I already tell my kids that EVERY day. I don't think I'll ever need to list those mistakes to make that believable.

I am very open and honest with my kids. And they already know alot about me, from before I had kids. I knew all about my parents when I was growing up. It didnt damage me and my brother in any way.

I'll be very open and honest. I don't plan to tell my kids everything out of the blue, but if they ever ask I will tell. I feel that my children will have a lot to learn from mine and my husband's pasts.

I'm not sure how I am going to be with my own child but with my sister (who I am guardian of) I tell her things but only if I think it will benefit her in some way. I think knowing some of the really bad mistakes I made will help her later on, but there are still things I would never tell her.

Her dad and I are going to tell her about our lives growing up because she's growing up privileged. Privileged in the socioeconomic sense, unlike myself, and privileged in the sane-loving-family sense, unlike my husband. We had very different problems, but both ones we want DD to understand at an age-appropriate level as she grows.

She needs to understand, growing up with these privileges, especially socioeconomic privilege, that others lack them, and that it doesn't make them bad people just because whatever they lack leads them to do certain things and be certain ways. IMHO there's a big problem with lots of middle class and upper class people, kids and adults, with compassion. It's not necessarily their fault that they have no frame of reference for what others' lives are like, and it's very easy to lack compassion, believe the stereotypes, or cast judgment from up there on the pedestal. But that's why we need to talk to her about this early and often, so that she does have a frame of reference for it and can understand it more deeply as she grows.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Fourteen Ten Six Eighty:</b>" Her dad and I are going to tell her about our lives growing up because she's growing up privileged. Privileged ... [snip!] ... about this early and often, so that she does have a frame of reference for it and can understand it more deeply as she grows."</blockquote>



Well obviously I will be telling my LO about that kind of stuff. I'm not going to let him be a spoiled rich kid. I think the OP was more talking about if you ever did drugs or slept with a lot of people etc if you would tell your child.

Quoting Nathaniel'sMom:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Fourteen Ten Six Eighty:</b>" Her dad and I are going to tell ... [snip!] ... I think the OP was more talking about if you ever did drugs or slept with a lot of people etc if you would tell your child."

I can't tell if your post is hostile or sarcastic, but I'm assuming it isn't.

I had my own issues. Neither of those, but it's sheer luck that I never went to juvie. I did a lot. Lot of what I wanted to and a lot of what I had to. And she is only 4 and already noting that she doesn't see my biological parents or my husband's mom at all, or my husband's father very often. She needs that background to understand why, eventually.