re: For those with a past, how much will you tell?

I will tell her all about my struggles with mental illness. And hospitalizations. But that is only if she shows signs of mental illness at any age. But at 18? Or soon after that, I will more than likely tell her she has a history of mental illness in her mom's side of family including her mom (me).

But who am I kidding? At the rate I'm going she will know about it when she's very young. She probably already knows about but is too young to process it.

I never did drugs, drank or anything, so.

i will tell her everything, from my abusive relationship to my partying to my mental illnesses , my mom was always very open with me about her before i was born, she did drugs. thanks to her stories i learned from her mistakes and have never done the drugs she did. so if i can learn from my mothers mistakes then my daughter can learn from mine. i also believe that it will show my daughter that i am not perfect and if she makes a mistake and needs my help she can come to me about it. i believe if i am honest and open with her she will be honest and open with me in the end.

Quoting ☆stumbleine ☆:" When it comes to your children? I don't mean little kids obviously, I mean older ones. I have one of ... [snip!] ... likes to talk. I have two boys about to turn 13 and so far impress the hell out of me. I'll get more in to detail in a bit."

Doesn't everyone have a past?

I'm fairly open with anyone as long as they ask and with me, and you have to be specific or I just do vague or half truth answers.

I mean, my past is pretty normal.

I drank too much as a teen. I had a lot of sex with different guys. I almost aborted one of my daughters. I battled severe PPD.

That's about the extent of my "past".

<blockquote><b>Quoting Saffy Sly:</b>" I mean, my past is pretty normal. I drank too much as a teen. I had a lot of sex with different guys. ... [snip!] ... of sex with different guys. I almost aborted one of my daughters. I battled severe PPD. That's about the extent of my "past"."</blockquote>




Why would u tell her u *almost* aborted her,   that would kill me to know something like that,
I thought about abortions with 2 of my 3 kids, I couldn't imagine telling them that,

Quoting DeanJade&Maksims Momma:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Saffy Sly:</b>" I mean, my past is pretty normal. I drank too ... [snip!] ... kill me to know something like that, I thought about abortions with 2 of my 3 kids, I couldn't imagine telling them that,"

Because I"ll be explaining it in a certain way. I had the choice to not have her but I had her anyway. As a child, I'd infinitely prefer my parents to tell me that than "I had you because I'm prolife."

Besides, my daughters are growing up knowing abortion isn't something bad or evil. If there's no negative connotation to the word or idea, then the likelihood of her being hurt by that as a teen or adult is minimal.

've been thorugh very rough times and I intend to talk about it all with my kid. I want our relationship to be open and honest.

To be honest, I have nothing to hide. I've led a very boring amish like life thus far lol. I've never touched alcohol, smoked, done any kind of illegal drug, never been to a party, never had a one night stand, hell- even in high school I was a decent kid- I was mouthy but I never snuck out of the house, lied about where I was....So yeah, I've been very boring, and I have no interest in being "exciting" lol. I was 19 when I was DD, and the most outrageous thing I've ever done was getting a divorce from her father and she will know about that obviously.....So, I'll just be an open book I suppose...one of those boring as hell moms who never had a life hahaha

Quoting HopingforaMiracle:" I will tell her all about my struggles with mental illness. And hospitalizations. But that is only if ... [snip!] ... she's very young. She probably already knows about but is too young to process it. I never did drugs, drank or anything, so."

I'll have to share the same with DD, my family has a huge history of mental illness, basically ever family member has something going on....I've struggled with depression since I was 10 or so, but I've never taken meds for it (too afraid) but I'll have to tell her about the numerous therapists I went through during my childhood....ugh.

Quoting Saffy Sly:" Because I"ll be explaining it in a certain way. I had the choice to not have her but I had her anyway. ... [snip!] ... no negative connotation to the word or idea, then the likelihood of her being hurt by that as a teen or adult is minimal."

I remember the first time I found out My dad wanted me aborted...it smurfing broke my heart. He used to beat my mom and grab her by the hair trying to force her to call a clinic to make an appointment. It was nice knowing mom stood up for me and told him to smurf off though lol Dad and I have a good relationship now, but it's still hard knowing that he didn't want me. He still struggles with the guilt of it. But I'm glad my mom told me. Although in some cases, I don't think everyone needs to know, if that makes any sense....

<blockquote><b>Quoting ~*~Modern*Day*Delilah~*~:</b>" I'll have to share the same with DD, my family has a huge history of mental illness, basically ever ... [snip!] ... meds for it (too afraid) but I'll have to tell her about the numerous therapists I went through during my childhood....ugh. "</blockquote>




I mean it is something to think about but it may be likely she (my DD) will show signs early. As I had issues since I can remember. It scares me.

Quoting HopingforaMiracle:" <blockquote><b>Quoting ~*~Modern*Day*Delilah~*~:</b>" I'll have to share the same ... [snip!] ... to think about but it may be likely she (my DD) will show signs early. As I had issues since I can remember. It scares me."

It scares me too...especially because mental illness is on BOTH sides of the family...I swear her dad has some legitimate issues, so I'm really afraid when I see her exhibit some behaviors similar to his....   It's a scary thing....but as long as you keep an eye on things, it should help to catch anything early if it comes up.

<blockquote><b>Quoting ~*~Modern*Day*Delilah~*~:</b>" It scares me too...especially because mental illness is on BOTH sides of the family...I swear her dad ... [snip!] ...   It's a scary thing....but as long as you keep an eye on things, it should help to catch anything early if it comes up. "</blockquote>




I know that there's depression on his side. But I have so much more than depression and it scares me that I could possibly have a child with the same mental illnesses that I have. It scares me that she could possibly need to be hospitalized. I don't know what I will do if I have to leave my baby regardless of her age in a mental hospital knowing what I know. But yes catching it as soon as she shows signs will be helpful.

Quoting ~*~Modern*Day*Delilah~*~:" I remember the first time I found out My dad wanted me aborted...it smurfing broke my heart. He used ... [snip!] ... of it. But I'm glad my mom told me. Although in some cases, I don't think everyone needs to know, if that makes any sense...."

My story is more like:

You were conceived when your older sister was 5 months old. I didn't know if we could handle another baby that soon. I did some research and strongly considered having an abortion but decided to continue on and have you.

There was nothing dramatic about it, it just occurred sooner than we had intended and when I found out, I didn't know if I wanted to go through another pregnancy that soon.