Help with my child *sensitive topic*

So I have talked to her Pedi about this last year. She told me it was normal (I didn't disagree) and that it would phase out. She also told me that I shouldn't shame her for doing it and to express that she needed to do it in private.

Well, she is now 4 and the behavior has increased to more frequent and more intense and with objects.


It started with her grinding on her seatbelt in the carseat. Now, it is dolls, the foot of my bed (on the post) whatever. She will get all sweaty and have the "after glow" but you know she doesn't reach full "enjoyment". She will tell you that when she gets done "grinding" (that is what we call it) it makes her hot. You ask her why she does it and she doesn't have an answer. This child is not shy and is very honest so I know she isn't embarassed to talk about it. We have tried to express that it isn't something we do around others ect.. My fear is that as "open" as she is on her "grinding" she will soon start in school. She doesn't watch TV without grinding on something. She had a UTI a while back and I told her it was because she grinds on everything. Yes, I know that isn't true. I just hoped it would be what she needed to either slow it or want to "hide" it. Nope.

I need advice on how to get her to either stop or how to express that it needs to be a "private" thing. She doesn't fully grasp what it is so, I don't want to embarass her to think it is bad because I don't want to start self image issues. I just want to curb it before we start going more public with our behavior.

Anyone have any ideas?

Oh wow Hun. I don't know. Have you talked to her pediatrician since?

how would you normally go about disciplining her otherwise?
as in, how do you teach her not to do other things? like, how not to stick forks into electrical outlets, and how to look both ways before crossing the street?
i guess i'd enforce it the same way as any other instruction.
i wouldn't be half hearted about it. I'd be firm. personally.

but then, we haven't gotten that far yet

My dd is 4 and still grinds on her seat belt...but thats about it.
My now 10 yr old did it till she was 6 on her seat belt as well. But nothing since she moved out of the 5 point.

I know it can be normal tho, I remeber my friends sister doing this on random objects around the house too, I still remeber her doing it when she waslike 8 yrs old.

I would just talk to the pedi again.

Quoting HopingforaMiracle:" Oh wow Hun. I don't know. Have you talked to her pediatrician since?"

At her 4yr check up we mentioned it and she said the same thing but it picked up in the past few months. I haven't called the pedi yet. I know I should probably but, I was hoping another mom has gone thru this and has advice.

i would try enforcing that those things are to be done in privet areas. if she wants to do it take it to her room and close her door.

Quoting Not tellin:" So I have talked to her Pedi about this last year. She told me it was normal (I didn't disagree) and ... [snip!] ... start self image issues. I just want to curb it before we start going more public with our behavior. Anyone have any ideas? "

I would say go to a councelor or something. As it is normal behaviour but like you said doesnt know her boundries with it and does it all the time.

Quoting regina_margot:" how would you normally go about disciplining her otherwise? as in, how do you teach her not to do other ... [snip!] ... any other instruction. i wouldn't be half hearted about it. I'd be firm. personally. but then, we haven't gotten that far yet"

I don't want to discipline her for it. I don't want her to think it is wrong. I want to encourage her to do it privately and not with dolls or on the foot post of my bed.

Quoting crazy coupon lady:" My dd is 4 and still grinds on her seat belt...but thats about it. My now 10 yr old did it till she ... [snip!] ... objects around the house too, I still remeber her doing it when she waslike 8 yrs old. I would just talk to the pedi again."

I might have to. I am just at a loss. I don't want to shame her.

My oldest boy kind of does the same thing. He mostly grinds himself on the floor. He was doing it very often at the age of three and it has gotten less and less now that he is five. He now only does it to get to sleep and not every night. We would constantly tell him to go to his room. We would even pick him up and take him to his room and tell him to do it in private. If other people were around we would quickly pick him up off the floor. It finally sank in. It is so hard to get them to understand without making it sound bad. He is in school now and they have rest time. I have asked him if he does this at rest time and he tells me no. I still don't know if he completely understand it is a thing you do in private, but it seems like it.

Have you tried sitting her down and talking ot her on her own and explaining that it's absolutely fine, but that we don't do it in front of other people or using things like dolls and foot posts because you can end up hurting yourself?

Quoting Not tellin:" I don't want to discipline her for it. I don't want her to think it is wrong. I want to encourage her to do it privately and not with dolls or on the foot post of my bed. "

discipline is not the way.
it will take time anytime she does that tell her if she wants to do those things go to her bedroom and guide her there.

I read a post sometime back about this. I have no advice. But I do know that even if a kid is not exposed to sexual tv or anything they are still intensely curious. I had an ex boyfriend admit that as a child he would grind on things. He did it because it felt good, but he felt really smurfed up, like there was something wrong with him.

Quoting LumpySpacePrincess:" Have you tried sitting her down and talking ot her on her own and explaining that it's absolutely fine, ... [snip!] ... that we don't do it in front of other people or using things like dolls and foot posts because you can end up hurting yourself?"

Yes. That is when I used the UTI as my "go to". The foot post of my bed is new. Let me clarify the foot post. I have an oversized king bedframe. So the post is a 6x6 square that she gets up on and goes to town. I have never seen her "finish" so to speak. I stop her when I catch her but she has mentioned when she finishes before.

Quoting Buckeye:" My oldest boy kind of does the same thing. He mostly grinds himself on the floor. He was doing it very ... [snip!] ... time and he tells me no. I still don't know if he completely understand it is a thing you do in private, but it seems like it."

I might just have to start removing her and putting her in her room. I don't know what to do about the seatbelt though.

Odd part, she is a twin.