Quoting Drippy Hairymuff:" Does he not realize what it does to you for him to say these things ? I would remind him that your marriage isn't all about him. "
That is a good question.
OP he is one of two things...
1. He really is suicidal and super depressed and little things that you do or don't do seem to "push" him farther
2. He isn't actually ever going to kill himself, but knows he can control you this way and get what he wants by saying these things
Question is..How do you know what is true? Well first things first. Has he ever in his life attempted suicide? What does he do when you don't "make it up" to him? Have you ever NOT made it up to him? I think you should tell him that you think you BOTH need to go to marriage counseling. See what he says about that. Tell him that you think that might help "fix" you guys.