Just dont know what to do...

Ok, so we kind of have a situation going on with Dh's family. This is gonna be kind of long, but I need some advice. Dh and his brother and sister were raised by their grandmother, so when I say MIL I'm actually referring to their 75 year old grandma on disability. Bil is 26- almost 27. If you don't want to read it all, skip to the ***s lol.

Ok, so in 09 bil violated his probation by testing dirty at his meeting and was in prison for about 7 months. While he was in, he and his wife started the divorce process, but never finished it. He got out and because he had tested dirty cps got involved with their kids, and they were removed from the home (for additional reasons as well) ex sil ended up doing her classes and getting the kids back. Bil after almost a year of not seeing his kids he finally got his parenting classes finished and got to see his kids. By then it was already 2010 almost 2011. Bil and ex sil got back together for a while but he started smoking k2 and she made him leave because she finally got clean and didn't want to lose her kids again.

So Bil moved in with us on the condition that he stays clean and doesn't bring anything into our house. He stayed for about 2 weeks and then moved back in with MIL. (he obviously didnt like our rules). He was doing really well for a while. Off of the k2 and seeing his kids regularly. Then all of a sudden he got with this girl named Nichole who had her kids taken from her because she fractured her sons skull and broke his leg in several places. Ex sil found out and told bil that he could go see his kids with her but they would not be involved with Nichole. So, bil stopped seeing his kids and hasn't since May of 12.

***Recently bil has been so bad with the K2 that he lost his job and has been stealing mil's money to buy more k2, and when he has used all of her money he steals her pills. He doesn't care what they do to him as long as he's numb. He is taking heart medication, pain medication and who knows what else.

Recently he stold her debit card and overdrafted her account by like 400- to the point where when she got her ss check for the month she only had 150 left over to pay ALL of her bills. She decided to sell her car for cash to cover the bills. When she sold the car she asked if she could bring the $ from it here so he wouldnt steal it.... I said ok, and now she's asked to bring her medicine here and she gets a week's worth and keeps it on her so he can't steal it.

I'm just tired of being in the middle. Now that she's sold her car because of him I also have been volunteered by her to run all of her errands for her. and I know this must sound selfish, but I'm tired of their drama being brought into my house because of bil. And honestly I'm scared that he's going to find out where her stuff is and he's going to try to break in here. Dh says he won't, but if he needs his 'fix' that bad I'm not so sure.

Is there anything that can be done about him? Would he have to voluntarily go to rehab, or is there a way to get him to go?

Umm yeah..she should report him..call the cops! He is stealing from her AND doing drugs.

<blockquote><b>Quoting *B & D Mommy*:</b>" Umm yeah..she should report him..call the cops! He is stealing from her AND doing drugs. "</blockquote>

We've tried to tell her that. She won't for some reason. She told me the other day that she told him she was going to call the police on him if he didn't go to rehab. His response was "you would actually do that to me?" And of course he didn't go to rehab, and she didn't follow through.

I want to tell her that I can't help her anymore until she gets rid of the problem, but I feel like that's mean of me... Idk I just feel like we are enabling HER to enable HIM with his behavior.....

Quoting [♥]Mrs. Morgan:" <blockquote><b>Quoting *B & D Mommy*:</b>" Umm yeah..she should report him..call the ... [snip!] ... the problem, but I feel like that's mean of me... Idk I just feel like we are enabling HER to enable HIM with his behavior....."

Yeah true. Sometimes you just have to do what you have to do. Tell her that until she turns him in, then you can be of no help to her. Because then you are putting yourself and your children at risk by getting in the middle of everything.