My 4.5 year old is SO incredibly difficult.

Ugh. I feel like it's just me that's going through this. DD is SO incredibly outspoken and smart and at this point a total brat. She gets SO incredibly frustrated sometimes and stomps her feet, flails around, huffs puffs, growls, and shouts. And it's literally over the smallest things, like putting her shoes on and them "feeling weird".  

I am also convinced she does things to get me going as well. This morning for example I dropped her off at pre-k and they all have to wash their hands before they touch anything and so I rolled up her sleeves so she could wash up and she looks me square in the face and UNrolls them. I was like are you serious? Little things like that to tick me off.

She has such a nasty attitude sometimes and I don't know where the heck it is coming from. And the back talking, Omg. We've tried EVERYTHING. Time out, taking toys away, bed early, positive reinforcement, NOTHING is working!

Also, I was pulled aside the other day at her pre-k because apparently she was caught telling this little girl in her class that she was not a girl and that she was a BOY and had a boy face because her hair was cut very short! The little girls hair is an extremely short bob (top of the ears short) so I can kind of see where she'd be confused about the little girls gender but upon asking her what she was, and her saying "girl" DD was still adamant that she was a boy. Just being mean which makes me sick. This is NOT okay behaviour. And my fiance and I have talked to her about this and she apologized but like wth? We don't EVER talk like that about ANYONE and have taught her to be kind (so we thought) I feel liek she pretends to care about what we're saying and then just does whatever she wants until she gets caught.
We've also talked to her about her flipping out episodes as well and nothing has changed. We are at our wits end with her.

Is anyone else dealing with this or does my kid just happen to be THAT kid? ugh.

Any suggestions??

i think it's just a stage. kids are incredibly honest and until she gets a filter, i don't think she'll understand that she is being mean. my almost 4 year old is exactly the way yours it, however, she is the one calling herself a boy haha. she tells me she doesn't want to be a girl because they aren't allowed to get dirty! i think it's a stage you just have to let her grow out of

You are NOT alone here.

My son is almost 5 1/2 (in Feb) & he can be the sweetest kid but then he can just FLIP for no reason. The smallest things piss him off. He will purposely go out of his way to do things sometimes & I do not understand it at all. I am actually his Pre-K teacher so I KNOW that I do not allow my students to act this way but there are a few students who DO do these things & have in the past so I do know he picks up on things at school sometimes. But we talk talk talk 24/7 & I constantly tell him "you KNOW these things are unacceptable!!!" & he will apologize, sometimes cry to me, we'll talk, etc. Then he does them again!!! I just don't understand it. For him right now it's the fact that we just had our daughter 5 weeks ago but prior.... NO reason.

I wish I could tell you "do this this & this" but I've been trying everything myself & this is even what I freaking STUDY in school & I am having a heck of a time with it right now!!! Hopefully things will get better. I'm going to keep watching this post for other suggestions.

The #1 thing I can say is just consistency. Punish her when she does something wrong. I use the naughty step which works at the time but for the long run no, he'll continue to do something eventually. Sometimes, anyway. If you take away a toy or something, mean it. Don't give in easily. Be on the same page as your fiance. Etc. It sounds like you are doing all of these things, though!

Part of it IS age, yes. 4 & 5 is a very very tough age!! (I'm not sure why it's my favorite though!!! lol) HOWEVER, children have to know what is okay & what isn't okay. It's never okay to throw temper tantrums & act out for no apparent reason. That does come with age but that is where redirection & discipline has to come through.

Quoting Landon's Mommy *+1*:" Part of it IS age, yes. 4 & 5 is a very very tough age!! (I'm not sure why it's my favorite though!!! ... [snip!] ... act out for no apparent reason. That does come with age but that is where redirection & discipline has to come through."

It just makes me so upset cause automatically I'm like 'WHAT DID I DO WRONG?!" cause it was just her and I for the first 3.5 years of her life and I met my fiance and she seems happier than ever but then she has these episodes!
She is EXACTLY like your son! Happy as can be then just COMPLETELY flips! I was honestly quesitoning if she was bipolar or not.

It's so hard!  

My son is the same. Also 4.5

He can be very nice but his temper flares up over the silliest things. He will scream and kick and back talk. He doesn't care if he's punished. Once he's calmed down its like it never even happened.

You just described my kid to the T. lol She'll be 5 Feb 25th and her attitude STINKS! We have tried everything as well. She's always been a handful, but it has gotten worse since me and her father got a divorce. She's accepted the fact with who i'm with now.. but I still think deep down she has anger there that me and her daddy aren't together anymore. I don't know about your DD, but mine is SUCH a cry baby. She cries about EVERYTHING! It's so bad that my SO's son's don't even want to go around her because she's that aggravating to them. She says "they hate me, but like Peyton (my youngest daughter) but I've tried explaining to her that Peyton doesn't cry all the time like you and they don't like hearing you cry. That's why they don't want to play with you. It's a never ending story. I just hope and pray she grows out of this mess. In school though she is like a God. They are always saying how she is such an angel.. i'm like, wow you should see her at home lol

I work with children everyday and around that age they have a hard time with being told what to do and knowing what they can get away with. Most of the time it is for attention. She is at the age where you need to be firm with her because she understands what she is doing what is wrong. Get down at eye level and tell her how you feel when she misbehaves. Use I messages insted of blaming her for the behaviour.

Quoting A&J. ♥:" My son is the same. Also 4.5 He can be very nice but his temper flares up over the silliest things. ... [snip!] ... He will scream and kick and back talk. He doesn't care if he's punished. Once he's calmed down its like it never even happened."

This  

Makes me crazy! My fiance and I just look at each other like wth...??
Cause she literally acts as if a major meltdown didn't occure 1 minute prior!

Quoting Dude, you Fugly!:" You just described my kid to the T. lol She'll be 5 Feb 25th and her attitude STINKS! We have tried everything ... [snip!] ... school though she is like a God. They are always saying how she is such an angel.. i'm like, wow you should see her at home lol"

Ugh yes! She cries over EVERYTHING! And we just look at her and go "Scarlett, really?"

It's an age thing, she's trying to establish herself as an individual and such. *So* fun, right?  

Quoting Punk Rock Princess {EBFT}:" It's an age thing, she's trying to establish herself as an individual and such. *So* fun, right?   "

lol it's making me mental!

My son (4) does this daily. His grandma lives close to the daycare and he asks me every single day to drive by her house because he wants to go there and when I tell him no because we have stuff to do at home he will freak out. Or if he doesn't freak out he says something like "You make me sad, mommy" in this very angry deep voice lol. The worst part is all the crying though. It is ridiculous. He cries over the smallest things too. One of them being "shoes feeling weird" lol. Other times it is because he can't get something to sit up the right way, or because he can't watch his show, or because I told him to get ready for school...and the list goes on haha! And yesterday he was being horrible and then proceeded to ask if he could watch his cartoon after supper (which he already watched before supper) and I said no because it would be bath time after supper. Well he said in his low deep angry voice that he does, "After my supper I am watching my show because I said so." And I was like   Excuse me? LOL...sometimes I have to hold back my laughter because I just can't believe what he is saying or doing

Quoting *B & D Mommy*:" My son (4) does this daily. His grandma lives close to the daycare and he asks me every single day to ... [snip!] ... like   Excuse me? LOL...sometimes I have to hold back my laughter because I just can't believe what he is saying or doing"

Ugh there "feels weird" thing is what kills us. EVERYTHING she wears "feels weird." I swear she has a sensory issue lol. She does the same thing! She wants to go to my parents because they let her get away with more! Not happening sista!

Quoting ashleyxdisaster:" Ugh there "feels weird" thing is what kills us. EVERYTHING she wears "feels weird." I swear she has ... [snip!] ... issue lol. She does the same thing! She wants to go to my parents because they let her get away with more! Not happening sista!"

Oh yeah! It is usually his socks or shoes! Especially when I help him and I "don't do it right." lol. Ugh yeah, craziness! He totally knows he gets away with everything over there