re: Would you help your child change for bullying?

Quoting 624582:" Yes, I would to an extent. I was constantly picked on for my weight, I was always so skinny. When I started ... [snip!] ... their flaws, but if he/she came home crying I can't say that I would completely shut them down and tell them to deal with it."

  I don't think anyone has said they would shut their kid down & tell them to deal with it. That would be a pretty hideous approach.

Quoting justanothamotha:"   I don't think anyone has said they would shut their kid down & tell them to deal with it. That would be a pretty hideous approach."

I never said anyone did, perhaps I worded that poorly. I wouldn't be able to ignore my child's desire to combat acne, unibrow, crooked teeth, frizzy hair, whatever it may be, and tell them that children will always find something to nitpick about. Of course we all have flaws and we can either embrace them or alter them, if the flaw could be altered, and my child wanted to do so I wouldn't turn dismiss the issue.

I was often told that kids will pick on you no matter what, and that was that until my step mother came along. So I couldn't do what my parents did to me up until that point in my life.

I would, only in the form of clothes (style) or hair (style). For instance, when kids are allowed to dress themselves and comb their own hair, sometimes it can be...well...a mess. I have to say that I would never TELL my child, "We should cut your hair, so you'll look cooler", or, "Let's get you a cooler hair cut". I would just probably try to introduce a new haircut or clothes by saying, "wow, that shirt would look great on you", or, "I saw this haircut the other day and I thought it would look really nice on you." In other word's I would never make him feel badly about the choices he already makes for himself.

If my daughter wasn't comfortable with her eyebrows, hair, wanted new clothes or whatever then yes I would. I don't feel she should change to satisfy someone else, so if she only wanted to change for the bullies I wouldn't. I'd take different actions. Plus, speaking from experience. A bully will always find something else to be a bully about. IMO.

Hell no. I'd take the time to put the bullying to a stop. My son is perfect & he shouldn't have to change b/c of some insecure bully, who is he one that should change.

Quoting Destinite:" Hell no. I'd take the time to put the bullying to a stop. My son is perfect & he shouldn't have to change b/c of some insecure bully, who is he one that should change."

How would you stop the bullying?

Quoting Rd.:" How would you stop the bullying?"

I'd be at his school everyday if that is what it took.

Quoting Destinite:" I'd be at his school everyday if that is what it took."

And stay the whole day or just stop by

Quoting Rd.:" And stay the whole day or just stop by"

Principle, parent meetings, school board, cops, media, whatever worked.

Quoting Rd.:" And stay the whole day or just stop by"

I'd do whatever it took.

I teach my son that he cannot control the actions of others, that he is only in control of himself. I wouldn't change his appearance just to appease some bullies. What does that teach him? It teaches him how to be part of the sheeple population.