Ok.. I've just been wondering what would be worse for you.. being lied to constantly for nearly 2 years, or being cheated on just one time?

Let's say the lie is about your SO's drinking habits which HAVE been an issue that have greatly affected your relationship...

and no, this isn't really hypothetical.. not entirely, anyways..
thanks everyone!

Chronic lying is more disrespectful than a one time fling though both are equally grounds for divorce for me.

I can't say that one would be worse than the other because (depending on the situation) they are both deal breakers.

Both are terrible.

so what if he did the lying?
would that justifying you cheating.. almost like payback?
lol- i know it sounds horrible.. but i cant help the desires.. and no, i haven't cheated.. but like i said, i can't help how i feel....

My SO lied to me about continuing a relationship with his EX while they were going through a divorce. She is the vindictive type and I know her and have dealt with her. He only did this as to not piss her off by telling her he was already seeing me. She had access to their bank accounts and he believed she would screw him over. All of this was through his deployment

I would have been okay with this is he told me up front about it. I'm a pretty understanding person and can understand this logic. However, what I wasn't happy about was that he lied to me for 9 months! I can deal with a one time night stand, but not the lying. To me, the lying is worse. But if the one night stands continue, then it's over.

Quoting ♥MichelleMo♥:" so what if he did the lying? would that justifying you cheating.. almost like payback? lol- i know it ... [snip!] ... it sounds horrible.. but i cant help the desires.. and no, i haven't cheated.. but like i said, i can't help how i feel...."

No.

It does justify you leaving, though.

I think chronic lying would be the worse of two evils. How do you know what the truth is? When does it stop?

Quoting Princess Celestia:" No. It does justify you leaving, though."

easier said than done, unfortunately.. i think that's why i find it justifiable.. i would leave if i could, so why not cheat, right? just a hypothetical, though, not like I have someone lined up and ready to go lol

Quoting ℳonster's ℳom:" I think chronic lying would be the worse of two evils. How do you know what the truth is? When does it stop?"

I feel the same way.

<blockquote><b>Quoting ♥MichelleMo♥:</b>" so what if he did the lying? would that justifying you cheating.. almost like payback? lol- i know it ... [snip!] ... it sounds horrible.. but i cant help the desires.. and no, i haven't cheated.. but like i said, i can't help how i feel...."</blockquote>



Um, divorce would be happening ASAP, don't disrespect your marriage because you 'can't help how you feel'. Cheating isnt something that can be justified. Neither can chronic lying.

Quoting ♥MichelleMo♥:" so what if he did the lying? would that justifying you cheating.. almost like payback? lol- i know it ... [snip!] ... it sounds horrible.. but i cant help the desires.. and no, i haven't cheated.. but like i said, i can't help how i feel...."

No it doesn't justify cheating. Leave and then be with whoever you wanna be with.

Quoting ℳonster's ℳom:" I think chronic lying would be the worse of two evils. How do you know what the truth is? When does it stop?"

And it can escalate so quickly. At least with a one night stand, you can probably assume it was a horrible lapse in judgment.

Quoting ℳonster's ℳom:" I think chronic lying would be the worse of two evils. How do you know what the truth is? When does it stop?"

Yea, that's pretty much how I feel.. after being lied to so many times and for so long.. I've already emotionally disconnected.. so why not physically? i dunno.. i guess i was just seeing what others thought...

Quoting Sour Daisy:" <blockquote><b>Quoting ♥MichelleMo♥:</b>" so what if he did the lying? ... [snip!] ... your marriage because you 'can't help how you feel'. Cheating isnt something that can be justified. Neither can chronic lying."

No plans to cheat, just 'secret desires to be with someone else'.. ya know? Trust me, I'm ready to part, just need to wait until I'm able..
I'm just discussing my feelings; not my actions!