How the SmUrf do/did you do it?!!?

I have a question, for those single moms ( or moms would had husbands not close to home at the time) who went to college.

It's been weighing heavily on my mind lately, all the what if's that come with trying to go to college and raise 2 children. How I'm going to do my clinicals, how I'm going to get to class, how I'm going to arrange my schedule so I can be here to get them off the bus while still being here in the AM to put them ON the bus. How I'm going to juggle being a parent WHILE doing school work, how many all nighters, and all "weekers" (lol) I'm going to be pulling. How I can remain the best I know I can be for the children, while still trying to better myself with a degree.

This isn't my first time going to college as a single mom, but my old college ( which I skipped out of for my smurfing ex husband   *insert self hate*), was paid for IN full, I had FREE housing, FREE daycare, and the other single moms I lived with took turns babysitting if you had a night class/needed them to get your child off the bus. Now I don't have that, sadly.

My closest family lives 30-40 minutes away, and they all work. So that's a no go. They are very supportive, but other than that I have no one. My ex husband also works, and rotates being on call every 3rd week ( Friday to Friday), and frankly, I don't want to depend on him, because if he falls through I'm still left with no one.

So I need your inspiration/advice/support/tips whatever the smurf YOU have to throw at me. How the SmUrf did you do it? How HARD was it?


** I'm going to nursing school so if anyone has particular insight on that as well I'd appreciate it, greatly!

Can you get child care for them? Or maybe go back part-time?

Online courses, daycare, and flexible scheduling. I went to school part time for a while because I didn't have anyone to watch my kid and I still needed to work also. Does your family work Monday through Friday? Maybe see if you can get a weekend class and take the kids to family on the weekends? I did that for a while too. Also, I don't even know if it's possible in your situation, but could you move closer to them over the summer?

Quoting Momma x 2:" Can you get child care for them? Or maybe go back part-time?"

I can't get child care, because frankly, it's expensive as hell here ( priced out about $400 a week for ONE child), and the waiting list for subsidized daycare is 21 months long ( it's that exact I called today lol). I could go back part time, but that would mean I'd have to go to school TWICE as long, thus having to go through this stress TWICE as long. ( At least that's how I look at it.) I would still have to do my clinicals every Saturday part time or not, which doesn't get rid of that issue, it would just break my classes down so I'd doing my ASN over 4 years and not 2.

I don't know, I just know that it CAN be done, lol. I went to xray school and there were several mothers in my class. One of them had two boys under 4 years old. I don't know how they did it but they did it! We had full day classes 2-3 days a week and the other days we had full day 8 hr clinicals at 4 different sites that you rotated through each semester (all withn about 50 miles of eachother). We even had full 40 hr a week clinicals all through the summer semester. I know some of them had jobs and some of them didn't. Good luck hun!! Even though you may not be able to give them the attention they deserve right now, you're setting all of you up for a better future!!

Quoting Blair Waldorf (SuperKink):" Online courses, daycare, and flexible scheduling. I went to school part time for a while because I didn't ... [snip!] ... a while too. Also, I don't even know if it's possible in your situation, but could you move closer to them over the summer? "

No I own my house, so moving isn't an option because I'd still have to pay my mortgage regardless. Lol. My oldest son also goes to school over the summer ( special needs) so I need to be here for that as well. He gets a total of 4 weeks off for summer, spread out over June and August. ( Goes to school all of July part of August, gets out late June.)

I'm doing as many courses as I can online ( all the prereqs) for now, and only going to labs and my Meeting Human Needs classes ( 3 hours of lecture 8 hours of clinicals, and 2 hours of nursing lab a week.).

My dad works Monday-Saturday, my sister isn't comfortable with watching my kids ( she's never had kids, doesn't care for them much lol), but my mom or aunt COULD watch them Saturdays if I planned it far enough in advance.

I feel like this is all over the place.. I also feel like I'm overreacting lol.

Quoting Penises 3:Vaginas 1:" I can't get child care, because frankly, it's expensive as hell here ( priced out about $400 a week ... [snip!] ... or not, which doesn't get rid of that issue, it would just break my classes down so I'd doing my ASN over 4 years and not 2. "

Yes, it would def. be longer then a full time course load, but if you aren't able to go full time, then postponing until you can may make it just as long. At least if you take some courses then you've gotten the ball rolling and if in a few months your schedule frees up, then you'll be able to switch to full time. The worse thing would be going as a full time student and then not being about to complete your courses b/c that would mess your transcript up and cost you unnecessary time and money.

Quoting Colt's mommy:" I don't know, I just know that it CAN be done, lol. I went to xray school and there were several mothers ... [snip!] ... you may not be able to give them the attention they deserve right now, you're setting all of you up for a better future!!"

Thank you. I have a slight tendency to over think things, and I feel like that's what I'm doing. It's just every things hitting me at once, and I'm starting to realize how easy this would have been if my ex husband wasn't a cheating ass and left. I refuse to sit on my ass or work for 7.25 an hour for the REST of my life. I want my kids to see me succeed and be proud of me for everything I've done, not look at me as some kind of failure ( which not saying they would, it's just how I feel at the moment.).

Quoting Penises 3:Vaginas 1:" No I own my house, so moving isn't an option because I'd still have to pay my mortgage regardless. ... [snip!] ... if I planned it far enough in advance. I feel like this is all over the place.. I also feel like I'm overreacting lol. "

Well, I'd watch them if I lived ANYWHERE near you. Lol. But you may have to back down to part time once you hit courses/labs you can't take online or attend within the hours of their schooling. I mean, it's better than having to stop school all together. And yeah if you could get your mom or your aunt to watch them on Saturdays, that would help tremendously. How old are your boys? My sister doesn't have kids either, but she can handle my six year old and she used to babysit for me when he was 2 and 3. Lol.

Quoting Momma x 2:" Yes, it would def. be longer then a full time course load, but if you aren't able to go full time, then ... [snip!] ... then not being about to complete your courses b/c that would mess your transcript up and cost you unnecessary time and money."

Yeah. I'm going part time this semester ( Spring) going to try to get some classes down in the Summer semester, to lessen my course load so that I won't have to cram all the classes into one 16 week long period.

I'm just getting discouraged. Very very discouraged.

Quoting Blair Waldorf (SuperKink):" Well, I'd watch them if I lived ANYWHERE near you. Lol. But you may have to back down to part time once ... [snip!] ... My sister doesn't have kids either, but she can handle my six year old and she used to babysit for me when he was 2 and 3. Lol."

8 and 3. Lol. My 8 year old is very dependent ( because of his special needs/Cerebral Palsy). I mean I know it's hard, and he takes a HELL of a lot of patience, that she just doesn't have. My mom has told her NUMEROUS times that she has no patience for kids.

Quoting Penises 3:Vaginas 1:" 8 and 3. Lol. My 8 year old is very dependent ( because of his special needs/Cerebral Palsy). I mean ... [snip!] ... a HELL of a lot of patience, that she just doesn't have. My mom has told her NUMEROUS times that she has no patience for kids. "

Oh man. I'm going to send my sister to you. She has no patience for ANYTHING except kids with special needs. Lol. I swear it's the darndest thing. She will blow UP at the smallest annoyance, but our 17 year old cousin is autistic and she just has SO much patience with him. My aunt actually had her fly out to Cali in 2005 when they were in the process of moving here so that she could help with my cousins while they were moving.


And I do know the frustrations of going part time. But like you said, if you try to add in some summer courses, it might help speed things along even though you're only part time.

Maddie, apply at Moms House! Free daycare while your in school for single mothers. My friends kids go there.

Quoting Blair Waldorf (SuperKink):" Oh man. I'm going to send my sister to you. She has no patience for ANYTHING except kids with special ... [snip!] ... like you said, if you try to add in some summer courses, it might help speed things along even though you're only part time."

Dude, send her my way! Lol.

He's the nicest child ALIVE, but he gets so frustrated soooo easily. He flips his lid at the smallest thing. ( Like time to pick up, Gavin, lets eat.)

And it does upset me. I just want to go, and get it done, so I can get a GOOD job. I know it's not practical to try to do it all at once, I'll get burnt out... FAST. It's days like this that just make me doubt everything, and making ANYTHING of myself. Ya know?

Quoting jes♥london&lincoln:" Maddie, apply at Moms House! Free daycare while your in school for single mothers. My friends kids go there."

I've looked into that before, the only thing is that you have to babysit once a week, or something, and idk if I can actually have time to do that. Ya know? But I will keep it in mind. I totally forgot about it! Thank you!