fml

so bd and i got into a big fight yesterday, i finally got him to come back last night and we basically just went to sleep because it was so late.
this morning at 5am i woke up for some reason, and i had the idea to look through his phone because he's been acting so angry and mean lately.
i found a text about him "beating a cotton"... which is slang for putting the water on a used piece of cotton & drawing up any left over drug from iv drug use.
i woke him up and confronted him, which of course resulted in him being soo angry and violent. i told him to leave and i wasnt taking him to work in the morning, so he hid my car/house keys in the house, he started ripping smurf off the walls, trying to break my laptop, so i called the cops.
now im probably going to be in a lot of trouble with my landlord, i have no house or car keys, he claims he hid them but i cannot find them anywhere and i feel like complete smurf for letting this go on in front of my daughter,and i feel like a dumb ass for not realizing he was using again. i just hate my life so much. i thought i was doing good, but he ruins everything and just let him.

Quoting ♥crazybitch:" so bd and i got into a big fight yesterday, i finally got him to come back last night and we basically ... [snip!] ... he was using again. i just hate my life so much. i thought i was doing good, but he ruins everything and just let him."

and i just agreed upon a custody agreement of him having her unsupervised for a full weekend, every other weekend, can I change this considering the circumstances?

Quoting ♥crazybitch:" and i just agreed upon a custody agreement of him having her unsupervised for a full weekend, every other weekend, can I change this considering the circumstances?"

You need to go and file for emergency temporary custody ASAP. What happened when the cops came, did he go to jail?

Smurf girl... So sorry to hear about it. I hope that you can go get your Full custody back because if he gets so violent with you what about your daughters well being.

You can make him go for a mandatory drug test, to prove that he is not on drugs, and if it comes back positive you will automatically get full custody again, and also the fact you had to contact the police for him being violet will also play good in your favor.

Let us know what is going on.
Please try not upset yourself, rem our little ones can sense when we are upset and will pick up on the bad vibes.

and rem to tell her you love her very much, it means a lot to the little ones.

<blockquote><b>Quoting ♥crazybitch:</b>" so bd and i got into a big fight yesterday, i finally got him to come back last night and we basically ... [snip!] ... he was using again. i just hate my life so much. i thought i was doing good, but he ruins everything and just let him."</blockquote>



Stop going back to him! You just get hurt and your stuff broken and risking getting kicked out for always being loud with him and calling the cops. Idk if you're in the same apt as last time, but I remember reading your story about getting in trouble in the past with where you live because of your fights with him! He doesn't help you out financially right? You don't really need his help but child support right? Leave his ass!

Quoting Brittt [2]:" <blockquote><b>Quoting ♥crazybitch:</b>" so bd and i got into a big fight yesterday, ... [snip!] ... with him! He doesn't help you out financially right? You don't really need his help but child support right? Leave his ass!"

No I'm not in the same apt.. it was govt housing so they were a lot stricter about the fighting, so I terminated my lease before they could evict me, and I moved to the place I'm at now.
And I know, he's such a toxic person and I want to stay away. I am staying away this time.
I just go crazy when he gets with someone else, like it literally makes my stomach hurt, I go crazy when his family talks smurf on me all over facebook, I hate when people make me out to be the bad guy. I know I need to just put on my big girl panties and deal with it, but it SUCKS. I'm on meds right now for depression, so I'm gonna see about getting back into counselling as well, to see if that will help me for the next few months because they are going to be hard. But if I do what I'm suppose to and study hard, I'll be a nurse in a year and I can at least move away from this small town where I basically see him everyday.

Quoting Brittt [2]:" <blockquote><b>Quoting ♥crazybitch:</b>" so bd and i got into a big fight yesterday, ... [snip!] ... with him! He doesn't help you out financially right? You don't really need his help but child support right? Leave his ass!"

He did help financially a little bit.. like $100 every two weeks. But I'm fine without it and I have a child support order he is suppose to pay that's $111 a month, but I could really careless what he does. I just hate living so close to him it sucks. I literally live a block up from and like 5 houses from where he stays all the time. I live on the same street as the girl he was screwing back in september and now his best friend is dating this nasty girl. it just drives me absolutely crazy to think about it.

<blockquote><b>Quoting ♥crazybitch:</b>" He did help financially a little bit.. like $100 every two weeks. But I'm fine without it and I have ... [snip!] ... back in september and now his best friend is dating this nasty girl. it just drives me absolutely crazy to think about it."</blockquote>



I know it's a terrible feeling but you will get over it and you'll feel sooo much better when you realize the person you thought you needed that you no longer need! It happened to me 6 months ago my boyfriend/BD of 4 years...we broke up and I no longer have feelings for him and I felt the exact same way you did. It will happen. Give it time. Find someone to have fun with that hekps

Quoting Brittt [2]:" <blockquote><b>Quoting ♥crazybitch:</b>" He did help financially a little bit.. ... [snip!] ... feelings for him and I felt the exact same way you did. It will happen. Give it time. Find someone to have fun with that hekps"

Did you find someone else?

<blockquote><b>Quoting ♥crazybitch:</b>" Did you find someone else?"</blockquote>

After awhile I did and he ended up being a douche bag and now I'm pregnant and we aren't together anymore lol but good news is, STILL no feelings anymore for my ex of 4 years and no the pregnancy is not what helped me or anything like that the feelings were gone before I got pregnant