My son has autism....

I've been googling like crazy for the past hour, been analyzing every detail of his birth and growing up, i'm confused, scared, ill informed and want to burst out crying...

My son has been seeing the orthophonist once a week for months now. She was hired by his daycare, who noticed that he was very behind development and language wise. I can't say that I saw it coming because to me, everything he said (noises or babbles) made complete sense, and he's the only two year old i've been around. He started daycare about 6 months ago so for the first two years, he was by my side and I did everything they wrote in those books. I just didn't know what a ''delay'' looked like...

Anyway today she called me to give me her report findings. Basically he is severly delayed. He has not made any progress in the last 6 months. Now he is going to therapy three days a week. Of course I made sure I could be there the whole day to really inform myself on what I can do to help him. (it's at daycare, that's why i'm not usually with him.

He says about 15 words but to everyone else they sound more like noises or babbles. He also cannot hold his attention on something very long...

i'm confused...I feel like smurf. I just want him to be happy 

so, they diagnosed him with autism because of speech delays?... or am i missing something?

i wasn't aware that was the only criteria..... ?

I'm really confused. Whynwouldnt he be happy? Because he might have autism?

Quoting .Solange.:" I've been googling like crazy for the past hour, been analyzing every detail of his birth and growing ... [snip!] ... He also cannot hold his attention on something very long... i'm confused...I feel like smurf. I just want him to be happy "

Autistic children are happy. They don't live by the same social codes we do. And there are lots of different forms of Autism. I have two nephews who are Autistic. The younger is in school, kindergarten, and does really well. The other is in a special needs school. I don't always understand what he is saying but his mother has him down pack. So don't get distressed. It could just be a slight case of Autism.

I know my cousin's second son is Autistic as well, however his does not speak often and communication is hard with him. But again his parents know and love him. He is also a happy person.

My son had speech delays at two he wouldn't even say mama. I was so scared he had autism because he was lining up all his toys and not talking yet. He has bad allergies and was always sick too. We ended out getting tubes in his ears and that week he started calling me mama and saying a lot more words too. I guess he was lining up toys because he loves trains. Maybe its something else with your child too.

Autism does not mean he wont be able to accomplish what he wants to in life.   My best friend as a son who has Autism and he is self- taught in at least 5 languages that he has learned in the past two years.

Get a second opinion. My son has extreme global delays (speech, fine motor and social) but he is NOT autistic. Many times they feel a need to label delays so they can blame something however some kids are just delayed without reason. My 5 year old son speaks at a 2 year old level, his fine motor skills are at 3 as are his social skills. He is in a special needs pre-K and receiving outside speech and occupational therapy. He is making HUGE leaps in his development that have only started in the last few months after YEARS of therapy. We have had numerous testing done and significant delays does not mean autism. Seek a second opinion with a developmental pedi. They are specialized and can give you real answers.

Also about him not making progress. At 3 years old my son was listed at a 18 month level, in another 18 months he only progressed to 2. In the last 6 months he has progressed a year verbally and almost to his age level in fine motor. Don't let them force you on a schedule. Your son will learn what he needs to in his own time, he's in therapy. You are doing everything you need to. NONE of this is your fault, you need to understand that. It doesn't matter how much you review his birth and development. You did NOTHING wrong and you have to accept that. It's hard to realize, I know, It took me a long time but I gave my son everything he needed and he was still delayed. Thats okay, it's wasn't me, it wasn't you, sometimes it just happens and you just have to roll with it. Children don't fit into a mold, ours happen to be outside the box deemed "normal". So what?

I must have worded it wrong because I wasn't associating autism with his happiness. What I meant was I don't want him to feel sad or isolated if he felt different from the others (his daycare group). I'm scared of him feeling like he's different from everyone else and just lonely.

I don't know if that made sense...hopefully

I don't understand why you won't think he will be happy? You love him and care for him, give him all he needs, he's going to be amazingly happy! autism is not the end of the world for him, they might not be able to do things other can but they can be very talented in way you would never dream off! It will be hard work but it can be just as hard with a normal kid!

Btw my daughter who is now 8 has ADHD ( plus ODD, OCD and an eating disorder, which often come with ADHD). I never saw any signs at all until her nursery one day said to me "don't you think Molly's a little hyper? She can't focus and she isn't making friends" only then did I see everyone walking hold hand in hand with their child and I was holding mine under my arm to stop her running on roads or because she was flipping out.

Kids like these are different to raise but it's so rewarding to see how far they come! And honestly you never know what talents they are going to spring

Quoting MommaNoodle:" so, they diagnosed him with autism because of speech delays?... or am i missing something? i wasn't aware that was the only criteria..... ?"

He wasn't officially diagnosed, ''declared". She was giving me the results of her report for the last 6 months that she has been working with him. I don't know the criterias for autism, this is all new to me...

Quoting .Solange.:" I must have worded it wrong because I wasn't associating autism with his happiness. What I meant was ... [snip!] ... I'm scared of him feeling like he's different from everyone else and just lonely. I don't know if that made sense...hopefully"

Why would that affect his happiness? Show him that different doesn't mean unloved. He's not going to be singled out and taunted. Kids at this age don't care, seriously, they really don't. My 5 year old gets on the special needs "short bus" everyday in front of all the other elementary students. All they do is holler "LEVI'S bus is here!!". Don't put that label of "different" on him and children will follow your lead. Seriously, they don't care, it only becomes an issues when you or someone else MAKES it an issue. Just don't let it become one.

Quoting 3 little monsters:" Get a second opinion. My son has extreme global delays (speech, fine motor and social) but he is NOT ... [snip!] ... does not mean autism. Seek a second opinion with a developmental pedi. They are specialized and can give you real answers. "

That reassures me and that makes sense about the diagnosis. With your son did the developmental pedi give you some information and excerises that you could do with your son that could help him or (my question mark key isn't working)

Also good advice, I already have an appointment next wednesday with a specialist. I really need a second opinion

Quoting .Solange.:" That reassures me and that makes sense about the diagnosis. With your son did the developmental pedi ... [snip!] ... working) Also good advice, I already have an appointment next wednesday with a specialist. I really need a second opinion"

Oh YES! I do MANY exercises with my son to bring out his language. Like you I could "understand" his babble but that's not "talking", that's you translating his nonsense. You need to bring his language out. It's kinda a pain I'm not going to lie but you need to break down your "normal" talk into simple words phrases so he knows what you mean. Start off very basic, my son didn't understand the concept of "self" for a long time so I spoke about him in 3rd person than clarified that sentence with the proper phrasing. Example: He shows me his cup telling me he wants a drink. I answer with "does Levi want a drink?", wait a moment and ask again "Do you want a drink?". Do this with all activities and always clarify the sentence to first person so he know the Levi(your sons name) is who you are talking to. Try to prompt him to repeat back to you. Ask him often what "this or that" is. Praise often when he responds even if it's not correct at first. The goal is to get him speaking and responding. It might go very slowly at first, don't get discouraged. Sometimes like with my son it takes SO LONG and you want to give up but he will get it, he will respond and those tiny milestones will feel like a mountain when you finally get over them.