**This is my story, I will be making updates every day so everyone who is interested can keep track
I've had a lot of women commenting on different posts I've made over the last few days and it's getting hard to keep up with everyone so this makes it easier.
My water broke at 7:35pm on Friday January 4, 2012. I was exactly 26 weeks pregnant according to the due date of April 12, 2012.
I was at work, and realized it was almost time to leave. I got off the computer(probably on BG lol) and started to get all my things together to go home. All of a sudden I felt leaking but I thought it was just discharge. It didn't stop though, and next thing I knew my leggings were soaked. I reached down to touch the outside of them in the crotch area and when I pulled my fingers up there was blood on them. I raced downstairs to the bathroom, pulled my pants down, and blood sprayed everywhere. I still have no idea how it splattered as far as it did, it looked like a murder scene. I was leaking into the toilet like a faucet. I called my husband absolutely flipping out but I had no service in the bathroom and on top of me screaming he couldn't tell what I was saying. I had to take some deep breaths and calmly tell him what was happening. He told me to meet him at the hospital because he was about 20 min from me but the hospital was 10 min from both of us. After that I kind of went into shock. I cleaned myself up as best as I could, cleaned the toilet and floor, pulled my soaked leggings back up and tried to hold my shirt down over them as best as I could. I walked upstairs, calmly told my boss I was leaving and my coworker I couldn't give her a ride anymore, and walked out. On the way there I called one of my midwives to talk to her.
When I got to the hospital, I realized I hadn't leaked any more on the way there. I told my husband it had stopped but as soon as I stood up and started walking inside I felt it start leaking again. I didn't want to freak people out so I held my shirt down once again as I checked in, signed some paperwork etc. Then they told me to go sit in the waiting room to which I replied "I can't. My pants are soaked in blood."(all their chairs were upholstered not plastic). That apparently got their attention better than "I'm gushing blood and I'm 26 weeks" for some reason
They checked me out and because of the color of the blood against my white underwear we all agreed it looked liquidy because it was bright bright red rather than darker red. The tests came back negative for amniotic fluid. After laying in their bed for about 2 hours and nothing more coming out I had to pee. As soon as I stood up off the bed I started leaking blood alll over the floor again. When I got back to the bed they did another ph and slide and both were positive for amniotic fluid. That's when they told me they were admitting me and I would be stuck there until this baby was born. They did an ultrasound which showed low fluid, put an IV in me for fluids and antibiotics, and gave me my first of 2 steroid shots to mature baby's lungs in case he did come out soon.
I got up to the room around 11pm.
There they put monitors on and compression boots. This is what I looked like:
I can't even begin to describe all the emotions I was going through. Heartache about being away from my son, confusion about what was going to happen, stress about alllll the things I needed to do(my job, my son, my apartment, moving, getting ready for the baby) that now I couldn't. It was too much all at once.
They informed me that most women do not make it through the first week after their water breaking. If I got an infection, baby would have to come out. If I went into labor, they would not stop it. If I gave birth now, my baby would have higher chance of brain damage, mental retardation, blindness, cerebral palsy, trouble breathing, digestive issues, etc etc. If I somehow stuck in until 34 weeks they would induce me. That means 8 weeks in the hospital, and I would still have a NICU baby. But at that time the risks of infection would outweigh risks to the baby and they would want him out. It was very hard to try to accept this and even now I still haven't completely accepted it.
The next morning Saturday January 5 they took me off fluids but kept IV antibiotics going. I also convinced them to take me off the monitors and only do short intervals because they kept losing his HB every time he moved and it was such a freaking pain. As soon as they found it again they'd lose it, if I didnt lay perfectly still they'd lose it, they were waking me up alllll night long to adjust it etc. etc. I got 2 hours of sleep my first night, from 4-6am and that was AFTER I convinced them to take the monitors off.
They also started me on prenatals and iron, and I was taking antibiotic pills as well as the IV ones.
That day I did not leak at all. I also got the second steroid shot to help baby's lungs mature, which means both shots would fully be in effect by Sunday night(48 hours after I was admitted).
At this point I was extremely stressed out. I had to figure out daycare for my son and figure out who would be picking him up every day while DH was still at work. I also had to figure out how I would even get to see my son, what to do with my car, my apartment, etc etc etc. We were supposed to move March 1 but seeing as how that was the exact day they wanted to induce me IF I made it that far, we decided to call the landlord and get out of the lease a month early. So now I'm frantically looking on Craigslist for something cheap and nearby and quietly freaking out/ stressing about me never being able to see it before we rent it, DH packing and moving our entire apartment on his own, him even finding time to do it when he works 11 hour days and then comes and visits me, etc.
I had an ultrasound today which showed Creedence measuring at 1lb 13 oz and also showed very low fluid levels. He is breech, with very low hopes of ever flipping because of the low fluid.
I found out that if I were to have to deliver this early, they would want to give me a csection and would most likely need a vertical cut meaning it would be extremely risky to ever have a VBAC in the future. This was extremely disappointing and depressing to me because we want at least 2-4 more children and it's bad to have that many c sections. I also was planning a peaceful at home water birth with this child because I hated delivering my son in the hospital so basically everything I didn't want to happen, was happening.
Sunday morning around 4am I woke up to another gush of blood/ fluid. I had a break down because I had really gotten my hopes up that I was resealing since it had been approximately 32 hours since the last leak. Luckily my aunt is a maternity nurse at the hospital I'm in and she was working that shift and was there to console me. I decided I needed to accept the fact that Creedence really could come any day and I needed to prepare for labor, c section, and a lot of issues that could accompany a micro preemie. I was being too optimistic and therefore was NOT prepared for the worst, or even anything bad at all.
I compiled a list for the NICU doctors with the help of the lovely ladies from BG, talked to my high risk doctor a little more in depth, and started to do some research and planning.
I only leaked for about 6 hours Sunday morning meaning it stopped around 10am.
Sunday January 6 I also stopped the IV antibiotics and they were down to monitoring me for 20 minutes every 6 hours.
I started taking Vitamin E 400 I.U to hopefully help my sac reseal.
Monday January 7, I had now gone 24 hours without any leaking again and was on my third full day of hospital bed rest. My aunt Connie surprised me and showed up with a crochet hook and some yarn to help me pass the time! She taught me how to crochet a granny blanket and I became obsessed.
The doctor also decided I now only had to be monitored twice a day for 20 minutes!
When she first taught me Monday morning
Later that night
Tuesday January 7 was day 4 for me.
I convinced the nurse to take my IV out! woohoo!! I also had an ultrasound showing low fluid levels(which is weird because I wasn't leaking) and a "thick"(bigger) heart. Normally the heart should be about 1/3 the size of the chest, and in my baby's case it was measuring about 1/2 the size of his chest. The high risk doctor didn't have any answers as to why this was happening and said I would get another ultrasound in a few days to keep an eye on it.
I also spoke with a different high risk doctor who is the one on this entire week. He told me that my chances of having a vertical cut c section was only 15%! I still want to try to deliver vaginally at this point even though Creedence is breech, unless I absolutely need an emergency c section.
This day was hardest so far in terms of pain from sitting for so long, being lonely, antsy, and missing my husband and son. Then I read something that reminded me that every emotion I feel, my baby feels in some way as well. I decided I needed to be more optimistic again, and send lots of love to him.
It was extremely hard saying goodbye to my husband and son that night. My son had cuddled and watched The Lion King with me and it made my entire week. I miss him so much and it tears me apart to only see him 2-3 hours per night, and not get to sleep next to him or wake up with him anymore. I want to go home, go to sleep next to him, wake up next to him, watch Scooby Doo and eat yogurt with him, play kicthen with him, etc etc etc. I miss our mornings together before he went to daycare soooooo much.
My cutie and my dad
Relaxing in my bed
Wednesday January 9, day 5 is probably the best day I've had. My son called me early and asked me to sing to him so I sang him a few songs before he handed the phone to my husband. I also got the most sleep I'd gotten so far now that I was only getting monitored twice a day and not doing the IV thing anymore.
I finished Creedence's first baby blanket today!
I also had a little scare when a nurse came in to tell me the entire hospital had started enforcing a new rule, effective immediately, that NO children under the age of 14 are allowed due to the flu
I had to argue for almost an hour and threaten to leave against medical advice before they decided to let my son slip, but it was very stressful and at one point I was really having a break down. Another part to the rule is only 2 visitors at a time which is going to be hard since usually my parents pick my son up from daycare and bring him here and then my husband meets us here. So now as soon as my husband gets here my parents will have to leave and my sister also can't come with my parents. But, we'll make it work. It's not as bad as it could be.
I feel like I'm way too tiny to be having a baby right now!!!!
Thursday January 10, day 6.
I started a blanket for Will today! (that's navy blue not black)
Last night Will(my son) called me crying around 11pm telling me he wanted me and was sad i was in the hospital. I couldn't calm him down, and I couldn't stop crying. I sang him a few songs and he finally got quiet but he was still really upset. He also called me again early this morning when he woke up saying the same exact things. I knew it would get harder for him but it's absolutely killing me. I NEED to have higher fluid levels tomorrow. I can't leave him for so long. I don't think he understands that I have to be here and I don't want him to think I abandoned him! I know this sounds bad but I am just not even attached to the baby inside me at all right now and he's second to my son atm. My maternal instincts are wayyyy stronger for comforting and being there for my son than keeping this baby safe
I'm trying so hard to work on this blanket for him, I want to be done with it by tomorrow in case I can't go home, maybe it will give him some comfort and be something special for him. Idk what else to do
Friday January 11 Day 7-Just finally talked to the doctor! He said fluid levels are up but not normal yet but its still a good sign and we will check again on Tuesday but he's feeling optimistic about it. If they get back to normal he won't even do the dye test(its like a reverse amniocentesis where they inject you with blue dye and you put a tampon in and see what happens) he will just send me home!
Day 7 in the hospital, 27 weeks!!
And I've made a little more progress on my sons blanket but my aunt came today and taught me a pattern for a hat so I spent my day making him a hat
Idk exactly how I like it, I'm hoping it looks better on him when I try it on him tomorrow lol
My reward for making it through the first important week!
Saturday January 12, Day 8 of bed rest.
Here's the finished product!
Anddd not doing so great today mentally:
I can't do this anymore. I am so depressed. I have no privacy. Everyone walks in and out of my room like I'm not even a human being. I AM NOT IN JAIL. I didn't DO ANYTHING WRONG. I shouldn't be punished! They wake me up all night to take my temp and blood pressure. The doctor came in my room at 5:45 am to ask me how I was doing. WTF. I AM SLEEPING. I have been doing fine since I got here 8 days ago minus the leaking I had last Sunday. I have been stable for 8 days. Leak free for 6. And they still can't leave me the smurf alone!!! I would tell them if I was in pain or started leaking again. They treat me like I'm 3 years old. I want to leave so bad, idk how much longer I can handle this. I feel so disrespected .
Sunday January 13 2012 Day 9
I have good new and bad news. It's looking like as long as I stay good with no leaking, bleeding, contractions, and baby's HB, my blood pressure and my temp stay good I can go home Tuesday or Wednesday. I had a long talk with the high risk doc today. He said if fluid levels are up Tuesday we will make a plan for me to go home. I asked what if the fluid levels aren't back to normal, and he said then I would be a candidate for the dye test where they inject blue dye with the same type of procedure as an amniocentesis but they shoot it in instead of pulling something out. Then you put in a tampon and see what happens.
I asked him what we can do if I don't want to do the dye test, because it's obvious to me I'm not leaking anymore and I don't want to do it. I told him I hate it here, I have no privacy, I feel like yeah I'm safe IF something were to happen but I live close by anyway and it's not like they are actually doing anything for me. I don't need fluids, I don't need special meds. I'm just laying here in bed all day. I could do that at home. He seemed very understanding and open to letting me still go home as long as I have some fluid! I asked, "So on Friday there were a few pockets but they were small. Does that mean there was enough to be satisfied with?" He said yes! So as long as I have the same or more I will probably be going home Tuesday. Then I would be coming back every Friday and Tuesday for ultrasounds/ other tests and meeting with the high risk doctor on Tuesdays. On the 22nd I will have another echocradiogram to check on the heart and they will also measure the baby to see how he's growing. The last time they measured him was the 5th so it will be 2 1/2 weeks later. If he's not growing consistently, they will probably want to take him out because that means the placenta isn't doing it's job and he's not getting everything he needs. Since I had all that bleeding, they are pretty positive it was a partial placental abruption. That might be ok except for the fact that the amniotic fluid isn't replenishing at a rate that they think it should which is a sign that the placenta may not be working as well as it should and also his heart being bigger than normal shows it may be working extra hard which is another sign the placenta may not be working correctly. I'm hoping this isn't the case! I will only be 28 1/2 weeks so...that won't be good.
I'm thinking he has more fluid because he is moving around like crazy. Usually he's kicking a lot, but last night his head moved all the way from my right side to my left side which NEVER happens, and right now I can't even find it so it's a mystery lol. I'm really hoping he's trying to flip. I keep waiting to feel kicks up higher but nope they're still in the normal spot. Idk what the hell he's doing in there!
Monday January 14, Day 10 of bed rest
Anxious about the ultrasound tomorrow!!! Did a ton of crocheting. Making my son a scarf and mittens, and worked more on his blanket.
Tuesday January 15, Day 11 of bed rest
Today was my next ultrasound. The doctors told me if the fluid levels were back to normal I could go home so I was extremely anxious. They never knew when they would have room for me. One day it was 10am, another day it was closer to 2-3pm, so I woke up this morning not knowing what was going to happen. I planned on doing my hair and working on my crocheting projects I started yesterday to keep myself busy and keep my mind of the ultrasound. But luckily, I fell back asleep for a little while and was woken up to a nurse telling me it was time!!!!! Here is my FB update to my private due date group:
"Okayyy so doc said he's going to call my fluid levels "low-normal" and "low for gestational age" but they're not just "low" lol. He said it's either resealed or it never broke @@ He also said that now it's down to an issue with the placenta and he's going to talk to the other doctor I have now(they do week long shifts so the one who I just talked to is the one who was in l&d last week that I really like and now he's down in u/s) and they will "make a plan". So my fate is in their hands right now."
Now, obviously my water broke. The ph strip and the actual slide came back positive. I think he just said that because he didn't actually see the fluid, and see the slide and it's just SOOO unlikely for the sac to reseal.
A little while after my ultrasound one of the other doctors who has always been really nice came into my room almost bursting lol and she asked me "do you want to go home?" (which she obviously already knew the answer to) and she told me the doctors had talked and decided I had enough fluid and stability to go home!!!! I am still going in every Tuesday and Friday for ultrasounds and meeting with the high risk doctors every Tuesday. They said if I am ever having doubts about baby's movements or cramps etc to just go in and be monitored for 20 minutes whenever I need to.
I am NOT on bed rest, they just want me to be careful and not do any heavy lifting(including my son
I can still run errands and everything!
If at any point anything on the ultrasounds is questionable or baby isn't looking too good I will be readmitted. Also if he isn't growing right or anything looks like it is "failing" or whatever, I will be induced. So I can't take any minute of freedom for granted
They said I definitely have a placental abruption which they call Chronic Placenta _______(some weird latin word that starts with an "a") Abruption. SO at any point, more could tear away and I could need to get him out. I hate waiting, and I feel a little nervous about not being right there in the hospital in case anything happens, but I'm so happy to be out and to be able to spend more time with my son and get organized for moving, have some privacy, and eat real food again!
Oh yeah one more good thing, baby isn't breech anymore!!! I KNEW he flipped!!!
Wednesday January 16 Day 1 of being home
Well, last night I ended up back in the hospital. I woke up around 1am to blood soaked underwear. When I got up and sat on the toilet a ton more blood started coming out so I rushed to L&D. By the time I got there it had stopped(story of my life!!!). They checked me and said I wasn't bleeding anymore and monitored the baby for 20 minutes. Everything was fine so they discharged me AGAIN. They told me the bleeding was normal and to expect more and then for it to turn brown. It was sitting in there pooling up while I was in the hospital and now that I was moving around more it was coming out. I really wish someone had told me that before I drove there at 1am for 2 hours. So anyway I got home a little after 3am and slept like crap until DH and DS got up to leave. I got up with them around 7:30 am and went back to sleep around 8:45ish. It is REALLY unpleasant to be constantly leaking blood
I planned on calling my high risk doctors when I woke up around noon but when I checked it had turned brown and I listened to the baby's HB with my doppler and it was good so I decided not to. I have felt like crap all day, I've had a headache and just felt weird. I layed on the couch, tried to eat enough, drank water, and messed around on my phone. When I went to pick up DS from daycare around 5pm I felt soooo much better. Then we came to my parents house and I feel like crap again
Needless to say, I can't wait for bed and I'm hoping I feel better tomorrow because I have to go look at an apartment and go to my ultrasound. I was almost wishing I was back in the hospital today
As of right now, it has been 11 days since my water broke and placental abruption.