Quoting Ollie's Mami+1:" Crazy Mel, I don't care And this is a failed condom pregnancy. I don't want too but like I sai before I have two kids and right now is terrible timing. Is that cool w u? Feels a little judgmental."
You don't have to defend yourself or the choice you are making here.
I know this can't be easy for you and I'm keeping you in my thoughts.
I do agree that you should investigate what they'll give you to knock you out to be sure you won't suffer too much physically.
Best of luck.