CIO help!

I'm really distressed! My SO wants to let our baby CIO!!! i really am totally against it but he just does NOT seem to understand that she NEEDS cuddles! He said "it's nice to cuddle her, but she doesn't need it, she won't remember that she was upset" He said that in the long run its a very bad idea because 'she will learn that if she cries, mummy will pick her up' and he doesn't want her to learn that, but she won't! I just need help on making him understand that I am supposed to cuddle her.
It has made our relationship very very bad these last couple of days because I keep going against what he says when he tells me to just leave her to cry, and he says "it's my baby too, I dont want you to pick her up". Me and SO arent talking and when we do its just to argue! I don't know what to doooo! I have tried explaining it to him an he just will not listen!
DD is only 4 weeks old today, I need help  

Four weeks is far to young to be CIO. Have him talk to your doctor(as long as he/she isn't pro CIO) and they will give him some educated insight.

Quoting NatashaHarper:" I'm really distressed! My SO wants to let our baby CIO!!! i really am totally against it but he just ... [snip!] ... know what to doooo! I have tried explaining it to him an he just will not listen! DD is only 4 weeks old today, I need help  "

I hope he doesn't mean to start it now?!?! That's cruel. CIO shouldn't be done on child younger than 1.

Looking into No cry method.

Uhm, wow. Keep doing what your doing. Why does he even care when YOU'RE the one getting him the baby.
If I wasn't mobile right now, I'd provide some links for you to show him that show how harmful that is.


Also, have your pediatrician talk to him about it at her next appointment.

NOOOO she's too young.

She needs to know that if she cries mommy will
Pick her up. That's part of developing a strong relationship and bond with her and will make her less clingy because she will be secure in the fact that her needs will be met.

4 weeks is way too young. at that age they cry for a reason, even if that reason is just to know someone is there

he needs to understand thats now his job, is to console his daughter no matter how many times that may be. i mean did he expect it to be any different?

if you start now you could actually hurt her in the long run.the minimum age is 6 months.

Exactly. These are ALL things I've tried to tell him and he just does not seem to understand! He said if we leave her now, she will know not to cry for 'attention' in the long run. He said he doesn't want her crying to be picked up all the time. I know how harmful it is to let her CIO, and this is seriously ruining our relationship!
He believes that in 1 months time she will have learnt that if she cries mummy picks her up... He really needs to understand because I am so tempted to go and stay somewhere else for a few days because this is really getting to me  

Have him do some research. I am very pro-CIO and 6 months is the minimum age it should be tried. I personally even hold off until about 8-9 with my youngest. Crying is her only way to say she needs something and cuddles are a NEED for a baby that young. They need to know they can trust you to comfort them and be there when they need you.

<blockquote><b>Quoting NatashaHarper:</b>" Exactly. These are ALL things I've tried to tell him and he just does not seem to understand! He said ... [snip!] ... to understand because I am so tempted to go and stay somewhere else for a few days because this is really getting to me  "</blockquote>


Research attachment style parenting. Also research the fourth trimester. Letting them CIO stresses them out And physically hurts them and their ability to develop physically and diminishes brain growth.

<blockquote><b>Quoting lolajessup:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting NatashaHarper:</b>" Exactly. These are ALL things I've tried ... [snip!] ... them CIO stresses them out And physically hurts them and their ability to develop physically and diminishes brain growth."</blockquote>




Thank you! I will definatley research them!
He doesn't see cuddles as a need  

<blockquote><b>Quoting ×ø×K·ßear×ø×:</b>" he needs to understand thats now his job, is to console his daughter no matter how many times that may be. i mean did he expect it to be any different?"</blockquote>




I was thinking this... Did he expect to have a baby that doesn't cry or? :/

<blockquote><b>Quoting NatashaHarper:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting lolajessup:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting NatashaHarper:</b>" ... [snip!] ... brain growth."</blockquote> Thank you! I will definatley research them! He doesn't see cuddles as a need  "</blockquote>


It is a need. They are a human and have been constantly snuggled for 9 mos. u can't expect them to not need it all of a sudden. That's why the forth trimester is so important for a babies development.

Seriously babies who are stressed cannot learn. Her brain cannot development when it's in a stress mode. If her needs are not being met, including comfort an cuddles, she cannot grow her brain. This is actually a huge concern for learning disabilities later in life. A baby's brain rapidly grows the first year of life. If you hinder that rapid growth she may experience many learning delays.

my next door neighbours had their baby about 2 weeks before me and they've done CIO from the start. it's awful! we have such thin walls and we hear it all. It OBVIOUSLY doesn't work cause all we hear is crying. all day and night! poor little boy. She actually came round to say sorry about the noise cause they're trying CIO. but i couldn't say anything cause she was so sure it was working. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. lol. not with a new born, it's just evil. they're crying for a reason.