Freaking A! "vent"

im so freaking mad right now i could cry..

SOs mother is very religious and just informed us she may not come to the wedding because her church has a meeting the day before the day of and the day after the wedding..

i mean seriously! cant you miss one freaking meeting! her youngest son and the last of her kids is getting married and your giong to choose church over this.. shes trying to get us to change the date even. SO is in tears and im pissed.

she told us this at 10 at night through a freaking text! im livid.

rant over.

I would physically call her and speak to her so she can hear the hurt in her son's voice. She may not understand how important it is to her son and may not have any concept of how selfish she is coming off as.

She seems really selfish, not religious. It is her son's wedding. I have a MIL like this she considers herself a workaholic, she missed my baby shower and every one of my sons birthdays because of work. You should talk to her face to face both of you, unfortunately sometimes it doesnt work. Good luck mama.

I'm sorry. I have family like this so I can't say much. I would still talk to her and let her know how important it is for her to be there. If she still does not make it, then it's her loss.

That's BS! Someone needs.to talk to her

she did end up calling us..

the reason she wont change the date of her church thing is a friend of her "already booked the hotel" and if she doesnt go shed have to pay the full price.

we are both heartbroken here. i was looking forward to her being there. ive discussed EVERYTHING with her. and no this.

we cant catch a break..

my dad is accusing me of being pregnant cause we want the wedding in 7 months.
my mom is thinking we should wait so i dont loose my insurance.
his mom is going to a convention thing.

maybe i should just call the whole thing off for now. :'(

My MIL was like this completely. Everything was church then us.

It took her a long while, and several grandkids later, before she stepped back and told her church she couldn't do it anymore.

Quoting Deborah B.:" she did end up calling us.. the reason she wont change the date of her church thing is a friend of ... [snip!] ... i dont loose my insurance. his mom is going to a convention thing. maybe i should just call the whole thing off for now. :'("

So you think you shouldn't marry the person you love because people are being "mean"? How would you feel if your husband said that?

Quoting TheCoopersKnitWitch:" My MIL was like this completely. Everything was church then us. It took her a long while, and several grandkids later, before she stepped back and told her church she couldn't do it anymore."

i just dont understand..

she almost missed SO's sisters wedding due to SO's grandfather being super sick and passing away.. she keeps saying how much she missed out on.

SO and i are talking to her non stop about the wedding. and i thought she was the ONE person that was 100% on our side. and now this!

Quoting Deborah B.:" i just dont understand.. she almost missed SO's sisters wedding due to SO's grandfather being super ... [snip!] ... i are talking to her non stop about the wedding. and i thought she was the ONE person that was 100% on our side. and now this!"

Since it's so far out, can you change the weekend? Not just to accomadate her but if she's like my MIL and any bit manipulative she may drag you through the mud for years to come.

Have you booked the day completely yet?

Quoting TheCoopersKnitWitch:" Since it's so far out, can you change the weekend? Not just to accomadate her but if she's like my ... [snip!] ... my MIL and any bit manipulative she may drag you through the mud for years to come. Have you booked the day completely yet?"

we were supposed to book it this weekend..

we wanted this date cause its exactly 1 year and 2 days after he proposed.. (the first saterday after lol) im thinking of moving the date but i have no idea when to move it to... i hate this feeling. im crying. im overwhelmed. my heads still killing me cause the concussion. i have to get up early to get a mri. its all to much

Quoting Deborah B.:" we were supposed to book it this weekend.. we wanted this date cause its exactly 1 year and 2 days ... [snip!] ... im crying. im overwhelmed. my heads still killing me cause the concussion. i have to get up early to get a mri. its all to much"

Sounds like you need to sit down and re-figure out why it is that you're getting married.

Is it to please your father?
Is it to please his mother?
Or is it to marry your best friend?

Quoting Deborah B.:" we were supposed to book it this weekend.. we wanted this date cause its exactly 1 year and 2 days ... [snip!] ... im crying. im overwhelmed. my heads still killing me cause the concussion. i have to get up early to get a mri. its all to much"

I do think you need to sit down and talk it over with him.

How important is to him that she be there?

My own father refused to walk me down the aisle the 2nd time I got married. I still went with my mom.

It's not to please someone it's to please each other, your marrying him because you love him. Not to please his mother.

Talk it over with him. And get some rest.

Quoting TheCoopersKnitWitch:" I do think you need to sit down and talk it over with him. How important is to him that she be there? ... [snip!] ... please each other, your marrying him because you love him. Not to please his mother. Talk it over with him. And get some rest."

he wants her there too.. and he feels the same way i do.. confused

i think him and i are going to have a sit down with both families and figure it all out. cause im tired of everyone hurting everyone. i cant stand it anymore!