Read my last post if you want to from yesterday...
My dad came for a visit. And I haven't seen him since July. Usually just 1-2 times a year and we have a strained relationship. He was in my life birth- age 7 when I saw him try to kill my mom with a gun. And then at 12-13 and once for brothers funeral when I was 16 and again at graduation when I was 18, and that Christmas Eve. Then again when me son was 1 week old when I was 23 and abut 4 times since then as I'm 27.
He is staying the week, because he got it approved by his parole officer (he served a portion of a 10 year sentence and is on parol for the next 3 but was granted to come see us).
He has fixed food today (yay and done the dishes) we went for a nature walk and he's been doing grocery shopping. But, he's also been on the phone ALL day. Between his phone and my phone. And it's driving me a little CRAZY. I was daddy's little girl and he's more interested or able to distance himself from me, I don't know. He's been hanging out with my kids and being helpful. And taking lots of pictures of my kids and himself. But it feels like he is avoiding me. Maybe I'm reading too much into it? We were going to watch a movie but now he has called my called my older sister dad to chat. They aren't even friends. I don't smurfing know.
Sorry for the rant if you read the whole thing. Any suggestions to get him to hang out with me?
I agree, I would just sit him down and talk to him calmly. Not accusatory, but just let him know that you're really happy he's here and it means a lot to you that he's spending time with the kids & getting to know them..... but YOU have missed him, too and you would really very much like to spend some time with him, too. Let him know that no one ever gets too old that they don't need their dad.
It could be that he's embarrassed? Maybe b/c he's been in & out of your life & knows he's done wrong by you for not being more consistent. Maybe he feels that you'll just jump all over him for all the years of hurt you've had to swallow. Or maybe he just doesn't realize that he's making you feel a little left out --- you will never know any of this until you've talked to him about it. Good Luck!