Dads..?

The only time my dad and I have talked about the fact that I'm pregnant is when he was telling me that I had to get an abortion- which was at about 8 weeks. Now I'm 22 weeks pregnant and he doesnt mention a single word about it and neither do I. My mom drives back from Nebraska to take me to appointments, etc. because my dad is obviously still in denial. Whether we like it or not, I'm having a baby. My dad and I have usually been pretty open with each other ,until this. He doesn't even know that I'm having a girl, what we're naming her, etc. I hate knowing that everyone who supports me and my decision lives 400 miles away. Do you have any advice on things I could say to him or anything? Maybe its not a big deal to some people but to me it is. I want to be able to talk to him about these things but I dont know what to say or anything.

Move with your mom?

Your dad probably fails like a failure as a parent with you pregnant at 16. Probably still in shock.

Well I'd be pretty pissed too if I had to support my 16 year old daughter and her baby.

What's your boyfriend doing to help the situation. Does he have a licence, a car?

Do you have a job? Does he have a job? Do you pay board?

He might be having a hard time processing it. My dad was pretty upset that I was pregnant, and keeping it, at 23. Maybe try to talk to him about it, be very open and listen to what he has to say, and try to be calm

give him time to let it soak in. Maybe if you start buying some little things and he starts seeing some baby stuff around he will be more willing to talk about it. If your mom lives that far away his i'm infering that their relationship didn't work. Maybe he is worried about you and your relationship with BD, and you having to raise the baby on your own.

my dad was the same way wen i was pregnant with my son. its hard for dads to get over there little girl isnt so little anymore. my dad warmed up once my son was here and now they love each other to death. i hope it works out the same for yo.

Quoting Onalee's Mummy:" Well I'd be pretty pissed too if I had to support my 16 year old daughter and her baby. What's your ... [snip!] ... doing to help the situation. Does he have a licence, a car? Do you have a job? Does he have a job? Do you pay board?"

My boyfriend also lives in Nebraska. Yes he has a license. Yes he has a car. Yes he has a job. I currently dont have a job because my dad sold my truck as part of my "punishment." When I move in with my mom, I'll be taking CNA classes and working at the nursing home or going back to my old job waitressing. My dad doesnt have to support me, and his girlfriend of 15 years doesnt want me and a baby in her house. They have court at the end of this month for custody of me.

My dad stayed distant from me basically until I had my daughter (I was 17). He worked his ass off for our family, raised me to be a great person and I disappointed him. We're really close now because I turned myself around, married a very respectable man, all that. But, I don't blame him for the way he treated me when I was pregnant as a teenager.

Quoting I'm me:" give him time to let it soak in. Maybe if you start buying some little things and he starts seeing some ... [snip!] ... didn't work. Maybe he is worried about you and your relationship with BD, and you having to raise the baby on your own."

Well I have no intention of living with him much longer since everyone who supports me, including my boyfriend, lives in Nebraska. I think his big thing is that he thinks I'll end up like he and my mom-who also had me as teens. I just dont know how to talk to him about it.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Melissa_15:</b>" Well I have no intention of living with him much longer since everyone who supports me, including my ... [snip!] ... thing is that he thinks I'll end up like he and my mom-who also had me as teens. I just dont know how to talk to him about it."</blockquote>




Just be honest, and tell him you're going to work your ass off to be an amazing mother and to provide your daughter with everything she needs. And then do it. He might not be ok with you until you've proved to him that you can handle all your new responsibilities.

Quoting Melissa_15:" My boyfriend also lives in Nebraska. Yes he has a license. Yes he has a car. Yes he has a job. I currently ... [snip!] ... his girlfriend of 15 years doesnt want me and a baby in her house. They have court at the end of this month for custody of me."

Here at 16 and preg you could file to become an emancipated minor making you your own guardian.

Quoting Melissa_15:" My boyfriend also lives in Nebraska. Yes he has a license. Yes he has a car. Yes he has a job. I currently ... [snip!] ... his girlfriend of 15 years doesnt want me and a baby in her house. They have court at the end of this month for custody of me."

If your BF and supportive family live there then I would be going there also. Good luck with everything.

Quoting Melissa_15:" Well I have no intention of living with him much longer since everyone who supports me, including my ... [snip!] ... thing is that he thinks I'll end up like he and my mom-who also had me as teens. I just dont know how to talk to him about it."

Don't, wait for him. He will come around. Just give him time. I was 18 when I got pregnant with my oldest. My dad was extremely disappointed. Why, not sure, I wasn't in school anymore, I was almost 19 and had an amazing fiance who had just graduated from the police academy. He called me trailer trash for being an unwed mother, called my kid a bastard and him and DH nearly killed one another. I didn't talk to him again until the day my daughter was born, and she has had him wrapped around her little finger since. He had visions of what he thought my life would be, I obviously didn't play that out and it was a huge disappointment for him. My dad and I are very close now.

Quoting I'm me:" Here at 16 and preg you could file to become an emancipated minor making you your own guardian."

My stepmom works at a law firm and shoved all these cases in my face where teens tried to become emancipated because they were pregnant and it didn't happen. But here when you're 16, you can have somewhat of a say in where you live- so hopefully with everything thats happened and what I want, the judge will give my mom custody again.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Melissa_15:</b>" My boyfriend also lives in Nebraska. Yes he has a license. Yes he has a car. Yes he has a job. I currently ... [snip!] ... his girlfriend of 15 years doesnt want me and a baby in her house. They have court at the end of this month for custody of me."</blockquote>



Can't you choose where you live once you turn 16? And it doesn't snake much sense him fighting for custody of you if his girlfriend isn't going to let you stay there once you have the baby.

My dad refused to talk about my pregnancy for awhile, he told me to get an abortion, but still knew I was having a girl. He didn't visit long when I was in hospital but he did still come. He now has a great relationship with me and my daughter, visits regularly and calls me every other day.

Hopefully he comes around after the birth, if not it sounds like you have good support from your mum and boyfriend and you'll be fine.