re: whatever

Quoting Your friendly n00berhood :" That's not only sketchy behavior, but a little scary tbh. I would not be comfortable living there whether he was cheating or not."

This. To not even help with nursing tops.... Ya know since he is okay with your oldest and not your youngest... could someone of said "Hey that kid isnt yours" and he thinks its true for some wacky smurfing reason, therefore he is treating your oldest okay but not you and the youngest?

Personally? I'd be doing some searching. This just doesn't sound right.

I'm not allowed on DH's computers but it's because I'll "break them"

And he deleted text messages off of an old phone that isn't even supposed to be getting text messages without letting me read them first.

But he gets lots of texts and emails, since he has an iphone, I'll look over and see them every once in a while, but usually it's just computer crap for work that I don't even understand.

Quoting FroggysMommy:" This. To not even help with nursing tops.... Ya know since he is okay with your oldest and not your ... [snip!] ... and he thinks its true for some wacky smurfing reason, therefore he is treating your oldest okay but not you and the youngest?"

This is exactly what I was thinking as well.

okay. im going to have to add some pertinent info in my op.

Quoting FroggysMommy:" This. To not even help with nursing tops.... Ya know since he is okay with your oldest and not your ... [snip!] ... and he thinks its true for some wacky smurfing reason, therefore he is treating your oldest okay but not you and the youngest?"

My husband is even upset with me because I won't buy new nursing bras.

but my husband naturally has resentment towards "new babies" When my daughter was born he was ok, but when our last son was born, he didn't really touch him or look at him for like a month until I told him to basically Man the smurf up and get over it.

and then we were good. For him he see the babies as a financial burden on his part as something more he has to provide for. And that's hard for him since he doesn't think his job makes enough money. But that didn't last long.

He even left me in the hospital after our last baby came out because he freaked out so bad. Didn't come back for like 4 hours. And refused to help him in the hospital with the baby.

But like i said it lasted only about a month

Quoting FroggysMommy:" This. To not even help with nursing tops.... Ya know since he is okay with your oldest and not your ... [snip!] ... and he thinks its true for some wacky smurfing reason, therefore he is treating your oldest okay but not you and the youngest?"

!!!!!!!!!!!!!

added info in op

You need to sit him down and talk to him about the baby not looking like him. Tell him you will gladly give him a DNA test if he wants one. I would still check the bill because when my husband was going behind my back doing something he shouldn't have been he made sure to delete everything and I had no idea until I looked at the bill.

<blockquote><b>Quoting buzz killington:</b>" added info in op"</blockquote>




Have you asked him why he is acting that way?

Even if he's sexually frustrated or whatever, that doesn't give him the right to treat your youngest son like smurf. Maybe his family comments got to him? I would have no patience for a husband who was a smurfhead because his second son looked more like the mom. That's just stupid.

Sounds like it's something that you guys need to just sit down, talk about, and work things out.

We've been through things like this in our relationship. It's hard but it does get better.

Right now DH is in a really bad mood. Which means he'll come home and take it out on the kids.

So I have no idea what I'm going to do.

I got lucky, my kids look identical(dh's), but I'm sure that if Malachi came out looking like me, it would of been hard for him to accept.

I too was worried something like that was going to happen. Because the new baby looks so different. In fact it's crossed my mind, just wow, he looks SO different from G(not that they're not full brothers just how different they look). But unfortunately there's nothing you can do about it, but tell him that he is a baby and maybe when he gets older he'll look like you.

Me and DH joke about stuff like that, "Well we know she's yours, look at her hairline." Etc. We joke, it's all in fun, but it doesn't really go much further than that.

And we had a really hard time when I was on Celexa, I was like a walking zombie. I was on it for about 4 months before I had to choose the meds, or the family, and I just couldn't take the meds, having an anxiety here and there was far better than walking around like an emotionless zombie.

Hang in there. It does get better as long as you guys are both willing to work at it.

Quoting buzz killington:" yeah i dont know. i just tried to talk to him and he started yelling at me which in turn made me cry ... [snip!] ... in turn made me cry which in turn he grabbed our older son, turned on the tv, and told me to go upstairs if i was gonna cry. "

He sounds emotionally abusive and controlling. I'm assuming you still don't have your own debit?

Quoting Jas ♥:" He sounds emotionally abusive and controlling. I'm assuming you still don't have your own debit?"

i just asked him if it was because we havent had sex in a while and he said "(laughing) i could give a smurf about that. " and yes i do have my own debit card that i never use 

Quoting buzz killington:" i just asked him if it was because we havent had sex in a while and he said "(laughing) i could give a smurf about that. " and yes i do have my own debit card that i never use "

What the hell is his problem? I agree with the other ladies. If you feel like you have a reason to snoop, snoop. I'd try my damnest to get a hold of his laptop and download a keylogger on that smurf.