SO and fitness (kind of long)

Okay so my family and I have all been trying to get healthier together. I have a problem with motivation and since I need to be healthier for the baby, my 13 year old and my best friend agreed to work out with me and eat healthier as support.

My SO said he would too but he has a really hard time sticking to it and working out every day and he eats a lot of junk food. He says it's because he knows I'll love him no matter what so it's hard for him to get motivated. and when I do motivate him and try to get him to do things he gets frustrated.

Here is my problem, how can I motivate him and push him to do better without being mean? It's not like I'll stop loving him if he doesn't lose weight but that seems to be all that would get him to do something about his health. I know that when one person in a relationship feels pressured to change it can strain them.

So where is the line between motivation and pushing? Because I honestly can't find a way that works.

(Side note: he was in ROTC all through high school and did really well but once he lost that strict push to exert himself he just floundered. I don't know if that helps.)

DH would eat like a pig if I didn't make all his meals for him. I only keep healthy things in the house, and he's not gonna go to the store. I make his lunch that he takes to work, and cook him a healthy dinner for when he comes home.

I'm watching! I can't even get my DH to GO to the effing gym! I'm paying for him to be able to go and they even have a daycare for LO. The gym is less than 5 miles from our house. I even let him spend $200 on an xbox kinect and workout video. He did it twice then gave up because he was so sore. Pretty much a waste off $200. I just let him be now. It sucks knowing that I'll probably be healthy and "young" when we start to retire and I'm pretty sure DH will not be in good health as long. My great grandma is 99 years old, lol. I don't want to be alone for that long!!!!

I'm not the cook of the house, I'm really bad at it and I don't enjoy it :/

I've been trying to limit his shopping without me because he buys junk food and stupid things we don't need it's hard to keep track of him sometimes.

Quoting Colt's mommy:" I'm watching! I can't even get my DH to GO to the effing gym! I'm paying for him to be able to go and ... [snip!] ... sure DH will not be in good health as long. My great grandma is 99 years old, lol. I don't want to be alone for that long!!!!"

That is exactly how I feel about it, I want him to understand that it's not his size that I care about it's having a long healthy life with me and our child. That doesn't seem to push him though.

Quoting Book_Worm:" I'm not the cook of the house, I'm really bad at it and I don't enjoy it :/ I've been trying to limit ... [snip!] ... his shopping without me because he buys junk food and stupid things we don't need it's hard to keep track of him sometimes."

Yeah, I do all the shopping and most of the cooking. He chews though too and has been since he was 12. He has said he wants to quit but everytime he tries he just gets pissed off so easily (mostly at work) and gives in. I try not to push him about it but I hate it.

Quoting Book_Worm:" That is exactly how I feel about it, I want him to understand that it's not his size that I care about it's having a long healthy life with me and our child. That doesn't seem to push him though."

Could you watch some documentaries on healthy eating? Don't be like, "Hey we need to watch this so you'll eat healthy with me".. Just say something like, "Someone recommended these to me to watch, will you watch them with me??"

Try Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead or Forks Over Knives, both on netflix  

I think you should just be silence. Watching your health and your body transform will be enough motivation. Well it should. My husband gained a little weight while he was deployed and when I started getting into fitness, he saw my midsection transforming so he was like "whoa, wait a minute...I can't be looking like this when I am with a woman who looks like that."

Quoting Jas ♥:" I think you should just be silence. Watching your health and your body transform will be enough motivation. ... [snip!] ... transforming so he was like "whoa, wait a minute...I can't be looking like this when I am with a woman who looks like that.""

This is a good point.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mama MacGyver*:</b>" DH would eat like a pig if I didn't make all his meals for him. I only keep healthy things in the house, ... [snip!] ... he's not gonna go to the store. I make his lunch that he takes to work, and cook him a healthy dinner for when he comes home. "</blockquote>


This is what I do also. If I dont buy it, its not there for him to eat. If i make his lunches, he has no excuse to eat fast food. If i have dinner ready around a certain time, he has little time to snack on things he shouldnt. Also i use smaller plates so he can only fit a smaller portion on at a time. If he wants more after that then hell get more but most of the time hes full from the smaller portion on the smaller plate, compared to a huge plate with a huge portion that he eats becausebhe doesnt want to waste. Exercise though, i dont push.

Quoting Momma +2 Girls:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Mama MacGyver*:</b>" DH would eat like a pig if I didn't make ... [snip!] ... plate, compared to a huge plate with a huge portion that he eats becausebhe doesnt want to waste. Exercise though, i dont push."

Yeah we don't push exercise either. I think that's something you have to be personally motivated for or else you'll learn to hate it.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mama MacGyver*:</b>" Yeah we don't push exercise either. I think that's something you have to be personally motivated for or else you'll learn to hate it."</blockquote>



Yeah definitely agree. If he starts complaining about thinking hes fat (which hes not) ill point him in the direction of my elliptical. Not much else i can do for him lol.