Quoting Lisa Holdridge:" Babies need to learn how to send themselves to sleep. It's much better them learning themselves than ... [snip!] ... something as important as sleeping in their own room and are not being delibrately cruel. It's an important lesson in life."
I just completely disagree. I don't think you teach someone how to fall asleep. Just like you don't teach them to crawl or walk or talk. They learn to do these things over time & with life.
I had a baby with colic. I had a sling. Both my kids are super independent now at almost 6 & almost 3. I set no rod for my back like you like to assume. They slept with me until whenever, they nursed until whenever the younger one still nurses. I worked outside the home until my older one was almost 3, that wasn't a problem either.
And yes, there is medical evidence that does say they should not go into their own room right away. It's called doubling the risk of SIDS. So if your child is twice as likely to die in the 1st 6 months of life if in their own room, how
is that not medical evidence?
You do not have to parent for conveinence & force a child to deal with it OR have a difficult child. Quite the opposite. My kids will put themselves to bed now very easily...even in the middle of the holidays when we were having a party & other kids were still running around. I told them it was time to go, they said their good nights & good byes cheerfully & went off to bed. When I finally got a chance to run up about 5-10 mins later to kiss them goodnight they were both already asleep. What was that you said about a rod?
And FYI - Ferber, the man who made up the method even says it should not be done with infants under 6 months & can damage their bond with adults. If you actually wanted to know the truth there is a ton of research in the field of human development that does say this is detrimental to human development & it goes against the way humans have been parented (and babies have been wired to be parented) since the dawn of time. Never before in human history would a mom have placed her vulnerable infant away from herself at night. It would be a stupid thing to do as it would leave the baby very open to being eaten or harmed at night. So tell yourself whatever you want - it isn't the best thing for newborns at all - in fact they cant' regulate breathing, body temp or heart rhythms nearly as well when apart from mom. That is also all measurable & studied.