re: if you were molested or had a child that was molested (trigg

<blockquote><b>Quoting FutureMRSmama:</b>" See you have to trust your insticts though. The boys mom who it happened to she knew he was different, ... [snip!] ... important. My son is so shy he wont let anyone around him while he is naked except for me so I am lucky there. kind of anyway.."</blockquote>




Yea I need to trust my instincts. I just pray to God she never has to go through that. It affected my whole life being molested.  

<blockquote><b>Quoting momma melissa85:</b>" So what about that stage where kids lie about all kinda far fetched stuff?"</blockquote>


I think they'd have to be fairly older elementary/middle school to even know that was something to lie about. Because how else would a small child think to lie about that if they weren't hearing or seeing it somewhere. I'd probably start with a dr visit to make sure they were physically ok. Then take them to a psychiatrist to see if they can gather any details or truth to it. But I'd always take it seriously.

<blockquote><b>Quoting lolajessup:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting momma melissa85:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting lolajessup:</b>" ... [snip!] ... then she says when she's about done and well now she washes herself mostly and we go in and make sure she did it right haha."</blockquote>



Yea I know a lot of girls who get yeast or uti that way. I always wash up first then rinse and run new water or let them sit and play then wash after with all my god kids or my daughter.

Quoting momma melissa85:" <blockquote><b>Quoting justanothamotha:</b>" I just talk to them about how no one should ... [snip!] ... fetched to them, but they hear it just the same."</blockquote> How often do you say it and what age did you start?"

I started as soon as they really noticed hey had genitals & started learning the names...like 18-24 months. We talk about a few times a week...because my younger one is under 3 & may occasionally point or poke (they bathe together most of the time, or at least their bath often overlaps, one goes in first, they play together a bit then the one who got in first gets out... I tell them these are important rules to know about life to protect themselves & protect other people too. So I know my 5 yr old thinks it is not terribly different from me telling him he has to chew with his mouth shut or wait his turn or whatever.

<blockquote><b>Quoting FutureMRSmama:</b>" IDK, I didnt hit that stage yet. At least he doesnt lie about people. He has imaginary friends that ... [snip!] ... elaborate stories about and has imaginary stories about adventures, but nothing bad thank god. I think that is normal though."</blockquote>




Yea I know they get to that stage but Idk when and a lie would freak me out but I may not know its a lie. Ugh I'm thinking too much

<blockquote><b>Quoting lolajessup:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting momma melissa85:</b>" So what about that stage where kids lie ... [snip!] ... ok. Then take them to a psychiatrist to see if they can gather any details or truth to it. But I'd always take it seriously."</blockquote>



If you tell them not to let people touch them.there then they know to lie about it. I've heard kids lie about the smallest or most elaborate things like being beat or abused and it was a flat out lie.

<blockquote><b>Quoting justanothamotha:</b>" I started as soon as they really noticed hey had genitals & started learning the names...like 18-24 ... [snip!] ... yr old thinks it is not terribly different from me telling him he has to chew with his mouth shut or wait his turn or whatever."</blockquote>




That makes sense

I was molested as a child and my son was molested at 2 while I was recovering from an illness in the hospital. I always said that I would never let that happen to my kids and I failed 2 years in. I noticed changes when I came home that at first I attributed to the major life event that moving to another state cuz your mom is in the hospital for 2 months might cause, but things quickly escalated. Beside behavior changes that could have been from abuse, but also from the transition, He c/o he butt hurting and kept trying to put things in his butt. he also refused diaper changes and wouldn't let anyone wipe his bum (previously diaper changes had been very soothing to him and was his regrouping time) He also had severe sleep disturbances and what I can only describe as "flashbacks" where he was awake, but paniced and not present and could not calm him. He was taken to a peds doc and examined physically, but she said that it was likely that any physical damage would be healed by then. I then took hime to a forensic psychologist - there was only 1 in the state that would analyze a child as young as mine and she was VERY well respected. SHe determined after testing that he was veryl likely sexually abused, but the chances of ever figuing out who had done it were slim to none. The big suspects were the daycare my inlaws used, my in-laws themselves (which i doubt) or my SIL's BF (the person i believe did it) I have had him counceling ever since. He was pretty young to know about good touch bad touch and was not the greatest with verbal skills (delayed speech due to frequent ear infections), in therapy they drilled into him that no one was allowed to touch his privates unless it was a quick cleaning by mom and dad and that he was not to touch anyones privates. He has no conscieous memory of the events (similar to me), but he is apparently affected by it daily. I try to tackle issues as they come up and continue therapy, but it's hard. I have not started talking to my daughter other then saying we don't tough privates

<blockquote><b>Quoting momma melissa85:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting lolajessup:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting momma melissa85:</b>" ... [snip!] ... about it. I've heard kids lie about the smallest or most elaborate things like being beat or abused and it was a flat out lie."</blockquote>


Yeah but that's typically older kids not little 5-6 yr olds typically. But either way I'd take it seriously no matter what age even if I thought it was a lie. If they're older and I make them get a dr exam and see a psychiatrist about it they'll probably think twice about Lying next time haha

<blockquote><b>Quoting nursemaya -mommy to 2:</b>" I was molested as a child and my son was molested at 2 while I was recovering from an illness in the ... [snip!] ... up and continue therapy, but it's hard. I have not started talking to my daughter other then saying we don't tough privates "</blockquote>


Omg *hugs* mama. That's awful. You didnt fail sweetie.   I'm glad u got him the help u did. Does he still have issues?

<blockquote><b>Quoting nursemaya -mommy to 2:</b>" I was molested as a child and my son was molested at 2 while I was recovering from an illness in the ... [snip!] ... up and continue therapy, but it's hard. I have not started talking to my daughter other then saying we don't tough privates "</blockquote>




Man that's hard. I'm so sorry. Idk what to say   this scares me

<blockquote><b>Quoting momma melissa85:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting That Girl.:</b>" I was molested as a child. And I feel I makes ... [snip!] ... I'm sorry to hear that   Lol I would freak on that too. Seriously I trust nobody but me. Nobody"</blockquote>




I did freak and so did my mom. I don't trust anyone either. But I feel guilty thinking the way I do. Dh would take baths with ds. I think between the fact that my dad never took baths with his kids maybe showers but not baths or what happened to me as a child. But when dh would bathe with ds I would have so much anxiety that I would find excuses to walk in at random times to check on them. What's worse is I have been told that my fil molested his niece. So I will know for sure to never leave my kids alone with him

<blockquote><b>Quoting lolajessup:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting momma melissa85:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting lolajessup:</b>" ... [snip!] ... older and I make them get a dr exam and see a psychiatrist about it they'll probably think twice about Lying next time haha"</blockquote>




Lol true

<blockquote><b>Quoting nursemaya -mommy to 2:</b>" I was molested as a child and my son was molested at 2 while I was recovering from an illness in the ... [snip!] ... up and continue therapy, but it's hard. I have not started talking to my daughter other then saying we don't tough privates "</blockquote>




And you did not fail  

<blockquote><b>Quoting That Girl.:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting momma melissa85:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting That ... [snip!] ... What's worse is I have been told that my fil molested his niece. So I will know for sure to never leave my kids alone with him"</blockquote>


I've always trusted SO with dd. but it's my dad we worry about because it was his dad that molested me, so it could be passed down. Even though he didn't molest me (well I guess that I know of :S) we still worried he could do something to dd. and Everytime we go to grandma and grandpas The first thing she does is run upstairs to the man cave to be with grandpa. So that's kind of what started the nobody touches you convos too. I just wouldn't want to risk it.