good touch/bad touch help

Lately DS (almost 3) has been playing with himself and I've found him a couple times taking pictures with the ipod and/or his new kids digital camera... well I've tried to explain to him that it's okay to play with himself but that it should be done in his room by himself... tonight my husband went upstairs because DD (17 mo) starting to cry... he found DS in her room with his pants and underwear off and DD having been undressed by DS (unable to have done it on her own)... now what???

Quoting Sheldon & Elora's Momma:" Lately DS (almost 3) has been playing with himself and I've found him a couple times taking pictures ... [snip!] ... her room with his pants and underwear off and DD having been undressed by DS (unable to have done it on her own)... now what???"

O.o
has he seen it in a movie? or seen you guys having sex?
im not sure how a child would pick up on that by themselves, the playing thing is normal but the rest...
i hope i dont find myself in a situation like that

What was he taking pictures of? His penis?

At work I'll often read a book or show pictures and ask the kids to tell me what they think is happening in the picture and that allows me to then ask more detailed questions about if anyone has ever touched them.

he's never caught us in the act or seen it on TV (we watch very little ourselves and they only get movie night once a week WITH us)

Honestly if it were me he would be disciplined. Rather it be taking away a toy or spanking but that boy needs to know that what he did was NOT okay.


Refering to the situation that just happened.

Does anyone else watch your son? I think my first questions to him was to see if anyone has done this to him. 2 to 3 years seem to young to me to know anything about that with out him seeing it or something.

yes, pics of his penis... most of the time he stays home with me caring for him and about 2 days a week with his dad and/or both of us... on a rare occasion he'll be watched by my cousin and all of her 4 sisters and sometimes by my husbands mom and dad... no situations where he'd see anything like that

Quoting *Mrs. Mallard*:" Honestly if it were me he would be disciplined. Rather it be taking away a toy or spanking but that boy needs to know that what he did was NOT okay. Refering to the situation that just happened."

Yeah, I agree.

Explain that everything that is covered by a bathing suit is private and belongs to that person only.

Meaning that no one should touch him where his bathing suit covers and he shouldn't touch anyone else where their bathing suit covers.

I would also take away the iPod and digital camera and only allow him to play with them under direct supervision.

Quoting *Mrs. Mallard*:" Honestly if it were me he would be disciplined. Rather it be taking away a toy or spanking but that boy needs to know that what he did was NOT okay. Refering to the situation that just happened."

We are not really spankers and that was the first thing he got

<blockquote><b>Quoting *Mrs. Mallard*:</b>" Honestly if it were me he would be disciplined. Rather it be taking away a toy or spanking but that boy needs to know that what he did was NOT okay. Refering to the situation that just happened."</blockquote>




Spank him for what!? He doesn't know what he's doing is wrong.. Wtf

Quoting speaktruth2powr:" Explain that everything that is covered by a bathing suit is private and belongs to that person only. ... [snip!] ... covers. I would also take away the iPod and digital camera and only allow him to play with them under direct supervision."

This!!

Quoting *Mrs. Mallard*:" Honestly if it were me he would be disciplined. Rather it be taking away a toy or spanking but that boy needs to know that what he did was NOT okay. Refering to the situation that just happened."

Spanking is NOT the answer here.

This is a teachable moment, not a "let me hit you because you did something yo didn't know was wrong" moment....He is 3 for goodness sake.

Quoting speaktruth2powr:" Explain that everything that is covered by a bathing suit is private and belongs to that person only. ... [snip!] ... covers. I would also take away the iPod and digital camera and only allow him to play with them under direct supervision."

that was definately what I already started doing with the ipod and camera... also we've tried explaining that he is the only one who can touch there unless it's mom/dad/doctor and NEVER if someone says not to tell... we just kid of freaked out and now wonder if someone has touched him... how can we ever know it?

Quoting *Mrs. Mallard*:" Honestly if it were me he would be disciplined. Rather it be taking away a toy or spanking but that boy needs to know that what he did was NOT okay. Refering to the situation that just happened."

..... If someone touched him inappropriately and was taking sexual pictures of him I don't see how a 3 year old child would deserve to be hit for that.