Toddler/Preschooler Not sleeping at night!

How to get your 2 & 4 year old to stay in their own bed at night? Every morning I wake up pretty much fallng off the bed to a bed full,dog,husband,& 3 kiddoes.

they need their own beds

<blockquote><b>Quoting HotMom21ERF:</b>" they need their own beds"</blockquote>



I agree!! That's probably the problem op.

I would try getting them their own beds if that is a possibility and try putting them to bed at the same time.

I wouldn't lock a child in the room...that's horrible and unsafe.

I appreciate some peoples advice. I will try something new: husband and I putting both to bed at same time,read book, & say night night.I will have to sit by door though BC I know they will get right up to come out.

Quoting Breakofday316:" First off, there isn't anything in her room that could be harmful. I don't agree to comment of locking ... [snip!] ... to go back to her room over and over again. It isn't locked the whole night, just until she stops crying, then we unlock it."

the only way to get her to sleep is to lock her in her room? you can't rub her back til she falls asleep or lay with her?

screaming til you pass out is a horrible way to start the night off.

Quoting Breakofday316:" First off, there isn't anything in her room that could be harmful. I don't agree to comment of locking ... [snip!] ... to go back to her room over and over again. It isn't locked the whole night, just until she stops crying, then we unlock it."

Try watching Supernanny for tips on getting toddlers to accept bedtime.
BUT, as others have said, the kids need separate beds.
Supernanny will help train YOU so you can keep them out of your bed. Her techniques work. We use them but not 100% as we are OK with a visit "when it gets light outside."

I'm at a loss for words that you lock your child in a room, a 2 year old to scream for an hour when they haven't even got the capacity to understand time. That must be terrifying.

Do the siblings have a close relationship?

You might find that knowing they are unconditionally loved and safe and welcome in your bed if they ever need you would give them the security to be able to sleep better in their own room. Knowing they will be locked in would be terrifying and make it very difficult to go to sleep. Sensing the unhappiness at having them with you will make them more likely to cling to trying to be with you at night aswel.

Siblings who sleep together in the family bed are often happy and transition well to move into a queen bed together. It's a common arrangement so i wouldn't jump to thinking that is the problem.
If it helps you at all with realistic expectations and not stressing, of most the other cultures in the world all babies sleep in bed with their mom, and 60% do at 4 years old. It is not just a money or space thing, but a biological norm to some extent. It is common with those who parent based on being sensitive to their children's needs aswel. So do not worry that you're doing something wrong or that it's not normal.

Something that can have a big effect on night time sleep is the amount of interaction and quality time they have with parents during the day. My son definitely drags bedtime on if he is either over tired or hasn't had enough mommy time in the day/evening first.

Activity levels, naptime, nutrition, stimulation, discipline (ie punishing rather than empathising and teaching) and as above amount of quality time can all affect how well kids go to bed at night.

Why do you lock a 2 yr old in alone but sit with the 4 yr old for an hour?
Why is the 4 yr old in bed so late?
Why do they not go to bed at the same time?
Are they getting enough sleep or quiet time in the day?
Enough fresh air and nourishment?
Bonding and physical play with parents?
Positive interaction?
A welcoming safe and comfortable bedroom that they enjoy being in?
A nice evening with parents and bedtime they can look forward to?

Answer those questions yourself and adjust as they need it and things should get easier.
Another thing that can help is to ask them what the problem is, what they do not like, what they would like, choose a compromise and find solutions together.
Adjusting expectations to the situation you are in, rather than what you previous wanted or what other friends etc do, and starting from where you are, can take the stress off. Looking at what you and your husband need and working out other ways to meet those needs and how to look after yourself better will help you to feel and cope better too.

Quoting Captain Obvious:" the only way to get her to sleep is to lock her in her room? you can't rub her back til she falls asleep or lay with her? screaming til you pass out is a horrible way to start the night off."

Yes i'd dread going in to that room if it were me, and the older child must be distressed at hearing their baby sibling going through that in the room they then have to go in aswel. That much adrenaline and cortisol isn't good for anyone, let alone a developing brain  

Quoting Mama*AtoZ:" I'm at a loss for words that you lock your child in a room, a 2 year old to scream for an hour when they ... [snip!] ... and working out other ways to meet those needs and how to look after yourself better will help you to feel and cope better too."

I agree with this x1000.

I literally am working on transferring my children of the exact same ages out of the family bed and into their own bed. I seriously cannot imagine doing any of the above.

I lay on the floor of their room until they fall asleep and then go into my room. At night when they try to get in bed I bring them back to their bed, kiss them, and tell them to go back to sleep. If they start to cry I will again lay on the floor until they go back to sleep.

No adrenaline, no tears, everyone's happy.

Quoting Captain Obvious:" I agree with this x1000. I literally am working on transferring my children of the exact same ages ... [snip!] ... If they start to cry I will again lay on the floor until they go back to sleep. No adrenaline, no tears, everyone's happy."

I can't imagine either. I couldn't imagine locking a teenager in a room to scream for an hour without comforting them, let alone a defenseless 2 year old. No wonder they don't want to go to sleep in there  

I have a big bed which makes it easier, and bedtime is my favourite time of the day. It's the easiest part and my kid is relaxed and happy and we snuggle up and read and sing and talk to each other, it's a really special time. I also love being near him when he's silent   I know he's safe and blissfully happy, yet also quiet and needs nothing   If only daytime with him was so enjoyable lmao

Quoting Mama*AtoZ:" I can't imagine either. I couldn't imagine locking a teenager in a room to scream for an hour without ... [snip!] ... I know he's safe and blissfully happy, yet also quiet and needs nothing   If only daytime with him was so enjoyable lmao"

I used to love bed sharing too, until I started waking up with an aching back due to only being able to have 2 inches of my king sized bed. lol

Quoting Captain Obvious:" I used to love bed sharing too, until I started waking up with an aching back due to only being able to have 2 inches of my king sized bed. lol"

If i had 2 kids in my bed i'd just turn the entire room into a bed. I like my space! I have a superking and one starfish child, so it's a good amount of space. He has asked for his own bed, specifically a jeep shaped one, but only to play on in the day lol. So i'm saving the hundreds of $$ until he's ready to sleep alone. I think transitioning younger kids to sleep together is a great idea, it's common in other cultures and seems to work well in ours too  

Quoting Mama*AtoZ:" If i had 2 kids in my bed i'd just turn the entire room into a bed. I like my space! I have a superking ... [snip!] ... younger kids to sleep together is a great idea, it's common in other cultures and seems to work well in ours too  "

LOL @ wanting the bed to play on during the day  

Yeah I knew I wanted them to transition together, I don't think they'd be doing nearly as well if I put them each in a separate bed.