Advice (not sure where to post this)

So, here's the story. Sorry if it's long.

I've asked my SO for a lifestyle change. I feel like some things are getting too out of control. I will just start by not beating around the bush. He smokes so much weed, and drinks every night. He always has his friends over to smoke/ or drink with him. Of corse they smoke in an entirely different section of the house, in a room.
On the weekends we never get a day to ourselves. Even a night. There is always somebody here. It's to the point where people are sleeping on the couch. The floor, extra room.

I don't like this, I don't like any of this.

I've tried talking to SO many of times..and it gets nowhere. He never argues about it, he will just calmly say "okay".

But, for me, that's not enough..because it's still the same smurf going on.
How do I talk to him, differently?




--Here in about 3 months our lease is up, him & his best friend are talking about getting a house together. (rent house) with LO & I of corse. They want a 4 bedroom. His room, our room, LO's room and the music studio room. Both SO & his friend make really good money..so we could afford something bigger. It's just the fact, I don't want to live under the same roof of this guy. He's at our house everyday. When we wake up, on their lunch brake and when they get off work.
And he's constantly playing his ukelele. Especially when we are watching movies, he never puts it down.


Just, I can only handle him in small doses.

I'm just pretty much looking for a way to tell SO I want a major change. I feel like LO could be brought up better. I don't ever want SO to get caught and something to happen to LO. It freaks me out.

I'm really thinking about moving back in with my mom, but a part of me can't. Just for the simple fact is they don't clean. Their house is a hell hole. and theres like 10 people living there.
I'm stuck.
So stuck.

Do you have any income of your own? I would put money aside and find somewhere else to live when your lease is up if he doesn't change.

Toget him to change I would tell him he stops or my children and I leave.

a letter if you think you might be heated..

and uuse a lot of the "I feels" instead of the "you"

Well if I don't want to do something that's a big thing I just flat out tell dh. I said firmly that no I'm not going to do that, that's not what I want for my life, and tell him to figure something else out. Just tell him you have to be happy too and you won't be if you do this.

well if it makes you feel anybetter right after my first was born was SO was pulled over they patted him down and he had a little one hitter in his pocket. no actual weed but they never mentioned anything about taking our baby, and i even took him to court with our baby and stuff... : / as long as he isnt selling it i wouldnt worry too much.

But i get what you are coming from and I would probably sit him down and havea SERIOUS talk about it and tell him how you feel and stuff. if he doesnt consider your feelings maybe you should consider the relationship? good luck though

Quoting I'm Marbles:" Do you have any income of your own? I would put money aside and find somewhere else to live when your ... [snip!] ... to live when your lease is up if he doesn't change. Toget him to change I would tell him he stops or my children and I leave."

No, unfortunately. =/
I had a job as a part time waitress, and it got me nowhere.
He's about to start paying for me to go to school.

<blockquote><b>Quoting ☮ Phuket:</b>" well if it makes you feel anybetter right after my first was born was SO was pulled over they patted ... [snip!] ... him how you feel and stuff. if he doesnt consider your feelings maybe you should consider the relationship? good luck though"</blockquote>




If someone calls cps on them for drugs they will come search the house and make them do urine tests. It happened to my cousin.

Quoting ☮ Phuket:" well if it makes you feel anybetter right after my first was born was SO was pulled over they patted ... [snip!] ... him how you feel and stuff. if he doesnt consider your feelings maybe you should consider the relationship? good luck though"

Before LO was born, he had a joint in his pocket and went to jail for 3 months. I live in a corrupt state

Quoting I'm Marbles:" <blockquote><b>Quoting ☮ Phuket:</b>" well if it makes you feel anybetter right ... [snip!] ... If someone calls cps on them for drugs they will come search the house and make them do urine tests. It happened to my cousin."

I could pass a drug test, he obviously can't.

and I forgot to put this in the OP.

But his work is going to start drug testing..and that means nothing to him.

Quoting I'm Marbles:" <blockquote><b>Quoting ☮ Phuket:</b>" well if it makes you feel anybetter right ... [snip!] ... If someone calls cps on them for drugs they will come search the house and make them do urine tests. It happened to my cousin."

OP isnt married and idk if she smokes or not, but if she can pee clean i dont see why they would take the baby.
my friend and her baby tested positive for THC at birth and they still let her keep custody. they dont care too much about weed.
if its all around the hosue and smurf different story. but lots of parents have a little stash of their own.