re: what would you tell your kids? if you were going to jail

<blockquote><b>Quoting Shanti & Tay:</b>" yes but it all depend on how much drugs there was! thanks hun!"</blockquote>




Gl hun and hang in there stay strong for your little guy and think if its worth him going through this and see mommy locked up. Is hard as it is and by him knowing will be too much. Hugs and look at the bright side you wont be locked up forever and you can make up the time you missed. Luckily he is still small.

Quoting ~~My Pet Wussy~~:" I would be honest. Simple terms, but honest. Also, before you leave make him a recording of you reading some books to him so he will have that while you are gone."

That is a great idea!

Quoting WhY bOtHeR:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Shanti & Tay:</b>" yes but it all depend on how much drugs ... [snip!] ... and look at the bright side you wont be locked up forever and you can make up the time you missed. Luckily he is still small."

thanks hun and yes i know i gotta stay strong, sucks for both of us because he starts school this september   i will miss being there for him and hell miss me

<blockquote><b>Quoting Shanti & Tay:</b>" thanks hun and yes i know i gotta stay strong, sucks for both of us because he starts school this september   i will miss being there for him and hell miss me "</blockquote>




Make sure to tell the person who is going to look after him to take lots of pics of those special moments so at least you can see them on pics. Is going to be hard but just think of your son for motivation to do good in there and get out to be back with him. Ill pray that everything goes well hun.

Quoting WhY bOtHeR:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Shanti & Tay:</b>" thanks hun and yes i know i gotta stay strong, ... [snip!] ... think of your son for motivation to do good in there and get out to be back with him. Ill pray that everything goes well hun."

oh yes they sure will take lots of pics, i kow that for sure and yes he will be motivation for me

<blockquote><b>Quoting Shanti & Tay:</b>" oh yes they sure will take lots of pics, i kow that for sure and yes he will be motivation for me"</blockquote>




 

I work with kids who have severe behavioral issues and some of them have parents who are in prison or have been to prison. One of the most important things is to NOT assume that because he is 3 he won't realize the long amount of time you are gone or won't remember. I know a lot of people say this but it is simply not true. I work with 4-5 year olds who have had a parent gone since they were 2 -3 and they are depressed about it on a daily basis. However, I have other kids who with support dealt with it very well and were just happy and excited when they were reunited with their parent. Just make sure you talk to him about his feelings and don't avoid the issue or assume he won't remember anything.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Anthony's Mommy ♥:</b>" I work with kids who have severe behavioral issues and some of them have parents who are in prison or ... [snip!] ... their parent. Just make sure you talk to him about his feelings and don't avoid the issue or assume he won't remember anything."</blockquote>




Yes they will remember but why make then know about mommy is in jail for such and such reason? There some things little kids shouldnt know. If you want to come clean and tell them that when they were little you went to jail but at least they will be older to really understand what happend and that mommy isnt a bad person.

Quoting WhY bOtHeR:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Anthony's Mommy ♥:</b>" I work with kids who have severe ... [snip!] ... little you went to jail but at least they will be older to really understand what happend and that mommy isnt a bad person."

I didn't say anything about telling him the reason. I just said that many parents assume children won't remember the parent being gone for that long .

<blockquote><b>Quoting Anthony's Mommy ♥:</b>" I didn't say anything about telling him the reason. I just said that many parents assume children won't remember the parent being gone for that long ."</blockquote>

I know I was js.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Anthony's Mommy ♥:</b>" I work with kids who have severe behavioral issues and some of them have parents who are in prison or ... [snip!] ... their parent. Just make sure you talk to him about his feelings and don't avoid the issue or assume he won't remember anything."</blockquote>


Thank you for making this comment. I meant to come back and comment something along these lines. My hope is always that te kids don't remember but like you, I've seen the impact play out in the way they play and interact with others and the way they interpret the world. You have the kids tht are quiet and become withdrawn when faced with difficult circumstances, and then there are those who react behaviorally. Either way, they are resilient. Though kids are resilient, they do experience trauma, and sometimes we figure they're fine or they don't remember or understand what's going on, but if we talk to them and really listen, they're struggling too. Even in the most highly supportive environment, we need to recognize the trauma they're experiencing. I hope that this little one will receive good opportunities to process anything he may be feeling. Being away from mom is hard, and I hope there will be ongoing relationships and support that foster healthy attachment, even in moms absence. Best wishes to you and your LO, OP. I can't imagine how tough this must be, but you seem to have your LO's best interests at heart even as you face this challenge.

thanks u guys, yes i agree alot of people misjudge kids smartness, they do know whats going on around them and im pretty sure my son knows what jail is as hes had a father and an uncle go to jail and it has been talked around him...so my decicion is just going to be telling him i have to go away for a bit and i will be back ...i will be telling him when hes older what happened and the big mistake i had made..i know hes going to act out for the first lil bit because we are like 2 peas in a pod, hes really going to miss me and i need to tell him now so hes told and is ready for the actions..he will be in great hands tho so thats good!

<blockquote><b>Quoting Shanti & Tay:</b>" thanks u guys, yes i agree alot of people misjudge kids smartness, they do know whats going on around ... [snip!] ... to miss me and i need to tell him now so hes told and is ready for the actions..he will be in great hands tho so thats good!"</blockquote>


Youll tell him when the time is right. When he is old enough.
Good choice hun. Right now he has heard enough bs and drama he doesnt need to hear anymore of it. Yw hun! Everything is going to be alright.

Going to be straight up honest, I think it's sad that you have to explain to your 3 year old that mommy is going to jail. That shouldn't be happening.

Tell him you are taking a grown up time out for a long time.
I had to go to jail when my oldest was 3 and it was the easiest way to explain to her what 'jail' is.