I Don't Know What To Do (Long)

My husband was working out of town yesterday...His job requires him to work out of town a lot, so I think nothing of it when he tells me he has to go out of town for some work stuff.

Except he lied to me. He lied and I don't know what to do...I'm sorry if this makes no sense... I'm a total wreck right now. I'm going to try and explain this logically.

We have been married for 8 years. We have 2 little girls and a little boy on the way, due on the 16th of this month. I have never had a reason not to trust him. He is the last person in the world I thought would do this...

In the afternoon, yesterday, I was just going about my business as normal...wishing I wasn't pregnant. Our phone starts ringing with a number I don't recognize.. So I answer it, like I normally do. A young woman is on the other end, and asks who this is. Then she asks if I know a (insert a guy's name here) I reply by telling her that yes, I know him, that I'm his wife. And then she's just quiet for a minute. She tells me her name, and that she knows my husband. That she's been dating him for the last 4 months.

For the last 4 months, my husband has been having an affair on me. He has been going and seeing this young woman, and telling me it was work related. He had been at her place had gone for a shower and had left his phone out. She had heard it start ringing, and had gone to check who was calling for him. (She had no idea he was married. Apparently he's been taking his rings off, too) I wasn't the caller, but my name was in the missed calls list. And I had the same last name as him, which peaked her interest.

So when he had gotten out of the shower, she asked him who Mackenzie was. And she said that she could just see something on his face that wasn't right. He said that I was his sister. She didn't know his family at all, so it was a totally logical explanation. (He kept her away from his family because he didn't want me catching on, I guess)

But it still didn't sit right with her, so a week later, when he was actually at work, she pulled out the phone book (She knew where he lived) and looked us up. Sure enough, our initials are listed together with our last name. She called me, and was the one who told me that my husband had been cheating. The poor girl was brokenhearted, because she did not want to be involved with a married man.She had no intent on breaking up a marriage.

I waited up for him last night. And when he came in, I told him that I knew. He knew exactly what I was talking about. He didn't deny any of it...he told me he wants a divorce, and just walked out of the house. He didn't come back last night, and he hasn't been by at all today.

I...am just absolutely lost. I don't know what to do. He isn't sorry, I guess, if all he could say is that he wants a divorce. I'm just...completely shattered. I never, ever thought I'd be the one posting this, but I don't know what to do. I'm scared, and I have two little girls wanting to know where Daddy is. And a little boy who is due in less than 2 weeks. I keep running over where I went wrong, what I did to chase him away, and I don't know. I just don't know what to do. My marriage just fell to pieces, and I'm lost.

I am so sorry that this is long, but I need help. Can someone please tell me what I'm supposed to do now?

Quoting Boots+3:" My husband was working out of town yesterday...His job requires him to work out of town a lot, so I think ... [snip!] ... and I'm lost. I am so sorry that this is long, but I need help. Can someone please tell me what I'm supposed to do now?"

I'm really sorry to hear this   Honestly if he acted like that and has been cheating for that long I would just let him leave without a fight. Try to explain to your daughters as lil as possible and at least try to talk to him about what his plan is on seeing his children.

That is awful   atleast the other female took initiative and was honest with you. Kudos to her for that!

It's nothing you did wrong, he obviously was too much of a coward to be upfront with you if he had to seek else where  

Hopefully the two of you can talk about it all and figure out what path you will choose to take. Just remember to stay strong for your girls <3

Oh my god mama I'm so sorry.

im so sorry to hear this i know how it feels to be cheated on although ive never been married but i know its hard but you gotta be strong for your girls i actually been in the same situation my son is due in May and the last couple months his father has been causing alot of problems and i found out he was hiding something from me and i knew because he quit checking in on me and everything found out he was seeing someone else and i felt betrayed he let another woman come before me his baby mama to his first child and it hurt i told him since he was seeing her i told him i was gonna leave so he could be with her it hurt making that decision i wanted to be a family with him and he chose to be with her and i figured he wasnt ready to settle down and be a family so i left it was hard then he had the nerve to let a female who is unknown to me threaten me saying she was gonna come fight me if i didnt leave him alone and that she was his girl and im thinking u tryna have his baby when i already am pregnant with his child he has lied to me he has tried to get me to do witch craft against him i told him stay away from me because u let a girl threaten to beat me up while pregnant with your child and then try and get me to do witch craft against him and he said that he tried to make me happy but how can u say that when u almost got me injured by a girl that u was talking too i totally understand momma be strong for your girls i have to be strong for my daughter dont let him get the best of you u have 2 girls and 1 on the way that depends on u if he wants to leave let him your strong i probably would have cussed him out

I don't even know if he wants to see the girls...or his son, for that matter. I've tried calling him, his parents, his sister, his work...anywhere that I can think that he would be. I need...I don't know, direction?

I called my Mom this morning and just told her, "I need you to take the girls today." So they're with her right now...but I'll have to explain to her. She knows that something's up.

I just...don't want a divorce. I don't want to be a single Mom...I don't want to have to send the kids to his place on the weekends...It's just, I planned on being married forever, and to hear that he doesn't want to be married anymore...

And I just cried for 5 minutes at my computer. I don't get how he could do this. I just have no, idea how this even happened to us.

I can't even imagine what you are going through  

I am so sorry to hear this. I agree with the other ladies, try to talk to him about his plans to see his children and when they ask about where "daddy" is have HIM explain to them. This way they will, maybe, better understand that they did nothing wrong and things just didnt work out. I am sorry you have to go through this and I believe you can be strong for you family with-out a "coward" of a husband. Hope things get better for you  

wow girl i'm so sorry he put both you and the other girl through that, that just proves how much of a coward he is if he can't even tell the other girl he has a family. no woman or man deserves to go through that. if he wants to go, let him. you deserve and can find a man that would never do that to you or your kids. I understand your hurting and have a smurf ton of emotions going on because you love him, but an smurf like that does not deserve to have a single tear shed for him.

I'm so very sorry.

I can't even imagine the hurt you must be feeling. I am so sorry that you are going through this. Hugs and prayers your way. :[

Quoting Boots+3:" I don't even know if he wants to see the girls...or his son, for that matter. I've tried calling him, ... [snip!] ... I just cried for 5 minutes at my computer. I don't get how he could do this. I just have no, idea how this even happened to us."

It happens to the best of us   DD's father and I were together 3 years and he just up and left me, told me to get my stuff out. He lied saying there was no one else but there was... an 18 year old girl.


Anyways, my daughter and I moved to my parents in June and we moved out in December. My first weekend sending DD with her father, was awful..   I cried most of it. Now, it sounds harsh, but I look forward to her weekends with him so I can have some peace and quiet and relax and catch up on anything I need to do!

It's a hard adjustment. But you will get through <3

Hopefully he'll come around and atleast talk so you if you both decide to split, that you have peace of mind.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Boots+3:</b>" My husband was working out of town yesterday...His job requires him to work out of town a lot, so I think ... [snip!] ... and I'm lost. I am so sorry that this is long, but I need help. Can someone please tell me what I'm supposed to do now?"</blockquote>

How could he when you are due his baby in two weeks!! What a heartless piece of crap! I am so so sorry for you darling, your heart must be broken..never suspecting, no mistrust just out of the blue.

Do you have anyone close by? A parent or friend..if this manipulative male can do this to you and this girl he does not deserve you, end off! It hurts but you need to think about your and the kids no one else! It's time to be selfish for you and kids sake, let him go and lay in the mess he made! You are better than this!

Quoting Talena_caro:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Boots+3:</b>" My husband was working out of town yesterday...His ... [snip!] ... no one else! It's time to be selfish for you and kids sake, let him go and lay in the mess he made! You are better than this!"

He started this when I was just 5 and a half months pregnant, which just stuns me...I never, ever saw this coming.

My parents are close by...My Mom actually has the girls today...She doesn't know what's going on, but I couldn't find the strength to spend the day, pretending that everything was fine with the girls...It just wasn't going to happen.

I did tell my sister what happened...She's made it open that if we need a place, they're there for us. He still hasn't called back or answered my texts or even come home...He's just hiding out, I guess.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Boots+3:</b>" He started this when I was just 5 and a half months pregnant, which just stuns me...I never, ever saw ... [snip!] ... there for us. He still hasn't called back or answered my texts or even come home...He's just hiding out, I guess. "</blockquote>

I think you need to tell you mum, get it out there and say it because she is your mother and she will guess very quick something not right.

Maybe take up your sisters offer and get out of there, do you really need or be in a house surrounded by memory's when your sisters offering a comforting neutral place.

I'm so sorry for you Hun, I had my eldest father do something similar to me, feels like someone punch your in the chest and ripped your heart out all in one. But you need to keep telling yourself that this is not your fault! Not at all! He cheated, he manipulated! He could have spoke to you about this months ago..you are the mother of his children and you deserve respect. Do not for one second think you did any wrong! Stop worrying about him and get you and the kids sorted. I wish I could give you a big hug. Please get yourself out the house,.it will only make things worse being there with reminders of him