re: Terminating parental rights

Quoting Audra's mommy:" Thank you! SO and I are engaged but I wasn't really in any hurry to get married. He is more than willing ... [snip!] ... ASAP though. My ex's brother told him to just give them up. That he really isn't her father. But who knows if that'll happen."

Your welcome thats how it is here to just check in i dont understand why you have to be married a year because who is to say you havent been together for like 10 years its just funny but if you both agree and go to court they might terminate it.

Quoting Krystal +2 Boys:" Your best bet is to just talk to a lawyer and see how it works in your state they are still letting BD terminate his and i dont have anyone to adopt. people on here are really touchy on this subject"

I can see that. I was never one to want her to not see him. I had a HORRIBLE time when it was all still fresh because I wanted them to have a relationship. But the person he is today is not the person I met or the person I thought I married. And definitely not the person I'd want my daughter around anymore. I just think at this point, she's better off without him. Even still, if she decides later on that she wants to see him, I'd never stop her. I just mostly want it to protect her from ever HAVING to go to him.

Quoting Audra's mommy:" I can see that. I was never one to want her to not see him. I had a HORRIBLE time when it was all still ... [snip!] ... later on that she wants to see him, I'd never stop her. I just mostly want it to protect her from ever HAVING to go to him."

Drugs always change people. Im sorry your going threw this but im sure she with relize you was just helping her and not tryig to hurt her. She will understand and thats all that matters.

OP, you don't really have to do much to enforce child support.

I think in most states, if you have a court order for support, all you need to do is make a phone call to Child Support Enforcement. The state will go after him for the money, it's completely taken out of your hands. If he starts a fight with you over it, tell him to take it up with the courts.

I understand you not wanting your child around such unstable people, I really do, but she does have the right to know her family. My opinion, supervised visits would be the way to go.

<blockquote><b>Quoting loser mom:</b>" OP, you don't really have to do much to enforce child support. I think in most states, if you have a ... [snip!] ... people, I really do, but she does have the right to know her family. My opinion, supervised visits would be the way to go. "</blockquote>


Thank you. I appreciate the feedback. It's something I've struggled with because I don't want him in and out. I've heard through the grapevine that he's been at least talking about doing drugs again. I dont know the truth in it but that's the only thing that worries me. That they'll establish a relationship and hell go back to drugs again.

You're better off not letting him see her at all...because if he IS seeing her and having contact with her, that will work in his favor. If I were you, I would make him go through the courts if he wants visitation. Doesn't sound like he should be around her anyways. Likely he won't care enough to petition for it and between him not seeing her and not paying support, you might have a case for abandonment.

But, like everyone else said...in most states you would have to marry your fiance and be married for a period of time. NY doesn't require you to be married for a year...DH and I got legally married about 6 months before our actual wedding because my BD finally agreed to sign over his rights.

Quoting Lizplustwo:" You're better off not letting him see her at all...because if he IS seeing her and having contact with ... [snip!] ... and I got legally married about 6 months before our actual wedding because my BD finally agreed to sign over his rights. "

She can't just stop if there is a visitation order....

<blockquote><b>Quoting speaktruth2powr:</b>" She can't just stop if there is a visitation order...."</blockquote>


There isn't a visitation order currently. Our custody papers state he has to be off parole and test clean for a year after that before he can have visitation. I don't even know how long his parole is. Just that he's been out fully on his own for 3 months. I didn't really set it up that way to keep her from him, just to protect her if I thought it was best not to see him.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Audra's mommy:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting speaktruth2powr:</b>" She can't just stop if there is a visitation ... [snip!] ... 3 months. I didn't really set it up that way to keep her from him, just to protect her if I thought it was best not to see him."</blockquote>


This!

Quoting speaktruth2powr:" She can't just stop if there is a visitation order...."

She said she and her fiance made the decision to let him see the child. I took that to mean there is no visitation order.

Quoting Lizplustwo:" She said she and her fiance made the decision to let him see the child. I took that to mean there is no visitation order. "

There isn't.