cried my eyes out last night! tell me it's normal.

long story short, my son is 4 years old now and his father treated me like smurf since the day I got pregnant. he cheated & abused me. he put me through hell. anyway, I still allowed him to be in my son's life because he was really putting in effort to do so & I had no problem with it as I wanted my son to have a father in his life unlike me. he continued to act out in front of my son & when I say "act out", I mean things like stabbing himself in the neck with a pen(he's kinda psycho). ok fast forward, I kept debating on whether I should let my son see him or not, my son was never really fond of his dad from the beginning. he would much rather be with my stepdad or any other male except for his own father. ok so yesterday, me and his father got into an argument cause I am now dating a new guy(amazing guy btw)... & he seems to be bitter about it even though he is married and has other kids now. he gives me a hard time, wants to take his son less because he doesn't want me to have alone time or whatever the case is. I know he is jealous because he recently sent me a text saying that he still loves me and I said to please respect the fact that I am with someone and to leave the conversations only about my son. alright so yesterday he was suppose to take my son but stormed out after the argument and really, at this point I'm thinking about cutting his crazy ass outta my sons life. my son always cries when it's time to go with his dad and I'm sure it's because of everything he has witnessed in the past years. last night, I cried myself to sleep because I'm not sure if I'm making the right decision and I didn't want my son to grow up without a dad. idk if im just being emotional. btw, the new guy is amazing. he is really good with my son. my son also has my stepdad, he loves him..... idk, any opinions would be appreciated. thanks ladies.

ETA; maybe the story wasn't so short, lol sorry

Quoting supercalifragilisticxpali:" long story short, my son is 4 years old now and his father treated me like smurf since the day I got pregnant. ... [snip!] ... he loves him..... idk, any opinions would be appreciated. thanks ladies. ETA; maybe the story wasn't so short, lol sorry"

I think you're doing the right thing. Until he gets help, that's not a safe environment for your son. I had a POS father like that who did really terrible things to my mom & then eventually to me. I think it's normal to cry about it, because it is a hard decision to make, but I think you're right in your decision.

Uhm, yes, cut the psycho unstable abuser out of your son's life. He doesn't care too much about him if he's refusing to take him just so you can't have alone time with your boyfriend

You are doing whats best for you and your son you don't need to take his feelings into account if he is acting like this. Your son doesn't deserve to see his dad act like that thinking its normal behavior. You are being strong in making this decision. I would have personally cut ties long ago. Most men do that they want what they cant have and when they notice someone else is spending time and loving his babies mother they tend to get jealous and say stupid things like that. Head up your doing whats best for your son  

<blockquote><b>Quoting Ryleigh's Mommy ♥:</b>" I think you're doing the right thing. Until he gets help, that's not a safe environment for your son. ... [snip!] ... to me. I think it's normal to cry about it, because it is a hard decision to make, but I think you're right in your decision."</blockquote>




thank you for the reassurance.   just wanted to make sure I wasn't the emotional wreck here. lol

<blockquote><b>Quoting ☮Sugar Magnolia:</b>" Uhm, yes, cut the psycho unstable abuser out of your son's life. He doesn't care too much about him if he's refusing to take him just so you can't have alone time with your boyfriend"</blockquote>




yeah, he had no problem taking him before. he didn't take him at all this week so all because I told him to take him for his two days off which was today and tomorrow, he threw a bitch fit telling me "No, pick him up Monday morning"(this was yesterday).. & I know he only said that because he's bitter about me dating someone else. he said that I can't have "alone time" til my son is 18 & that my life went out the window once I had a baby, to get over it.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Leslie Graham-Newton:</b>" You are doing whats best for you and your son you don't need to take his feelings into account if he ... [snip!] ... his babies mother they tend to get jealous and say stupid things like that. Head up your doing whats best for your son   "</blockquote>




thank you love. yeah, that makes sense. I know it's going to be hard but I gotta do what's best for my baby.