Forums > Teen ParentingPage 1 2by: Katrina,Phia&Easton's Ma

posted 7th Jan
This is kind of long so bear with me..

My mom and I were talking yesterday about my 15 year old brother. She started complaining about how she's at 'her wits end' with him not wanting to socialize with anyone. The few friends he has, he doesn't do much with and they all have seperate social circles most of the time. When he is put into summer camps , he downright refuses to do anything and wanders off to be by himself. My step father brought him to this Father-Son camp where you do wood working and stuff because my brother is a really 'hands on ' kind of kid. He said about 30 minutes in that he wanted to leave because the power tools were hurting his ears and the saw dust that was falling on him was annoying him.

He is also extremely particular about how things are placed in his room and the rest of my mother's house. He turns all food so that the product label is seen and they are all grouped. When he cleans his room, he opens up his window(mind you its like 2 degrees F), pulls his screen out, washes it in bleach and then bleaches everything in, on and around the window. He gets really upset when my step father leaves his work papers on the table or his boots arn't on the shoe mat.
I could go on but I think that about sums it up
As a little 6-8 year old boy, he never wanted anyone but my mother or I to prepare his food and if anyone else touched it, it went in the trash. He was also really afraid to flush the toilet because the sound was upsetting.

My mom thinks he just has his little quirks and that he has social anxiety. When I said she should get him evaluated she went on about how 1.) She doesn't have health insurance for him and 2.) that he is ' too smart ( the kid is unbelievable when it comes to academics!)' to have something like this, even after telling her about Bill Gates..

I don't know if I'm just over analyzing this or if maybe there is something that needs to be addressed.
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I have 2 kids & live in Westbrook, Maine
posted 7th Jan
Sounds a lot like Asperger's.
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I have 2 kids & 3 angel babies & live in Switzerland
posted 7th Jan
Honestly, it does to me. My little brother has Asperger's and he's almost exactly like that. And, my brother is brilliant. I mean, way smart. Asperger's (or any other disorder) doesn't mean that you're not smart. It's just a different way of looking at things.

She's probably just reacting to the stigma of having something "wrong" with him. But I agree, I think it'd be a good idea to get him evaluated.
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I have 3 kids & live in Monroe, Georgia
posted 7th Jan
Quoting Rain (aka Mama):" Honestly, it does to me. My little brother has Asperger's and he's almost exactly like that. And, my ... [snip!] ... reacting to the stigma of having something "wrong" with him. But I agree, I think it'd be a good idea to get him evaluated."


Yeah, He is in all honors classes and at the last conference the teachers all told my mother that he seems bored with it because he catches on immediately and then has to wait while the other kids catch up. They also mentioned that he doesn't speak in class and doesn't talk to the other classmates either. He told me that he feels like they are trying to get the answers out of him and its annoying.
In our conversation I mentioned this I don't even know how many times and she would just go on about something else that he does.
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I have 2 kids & live in Westbrook, Maine
posted 7th Jan
That sounds a lot like my sister. She is very brilliant and only has one person she calls a friend and they rarely hang out. She'll only hang out with our mom dad and granny. She is not that very social and she likes her area as her area even though they are messy.
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I have 1 child & 1 angel baby & live in Florida
posted 7th Jan
It could be. He could just be anti-social too though.
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I have 1 child & live in Minnesota
posted 7th Jan
Quoting Katrina,Phia&Easton's Ma:" Yeah, He is in all honors classes and at the last conference the teachers all told my mother that he ... [snip!] ... our conversation I mentioned this I don't even know how many times and she would just go on about something else that he does."

Maybe you could show her other famous people who've had Asperger's? I mean, the majority of the smart, creative, influential people who are well known have it. Plus, if he's evaluated he can get help with the social issues, so he can interact better with others.

I think it's just the stigma that gets people.
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I have 3 kids & live in Monroe, Georgia
posted 7th Jan
Quoting [JadeLee]:" It could be. He could just be anti-social too though."


Thats what my mom thinks. He can only hold (and just barely) a convo with me, my brither, mother, and step father.
Anytime someone asks him a question , he can't make eye contact, and doesn't get queues very well. He will actually walk away when someone starts a conversation with him.
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I have 2 kids & live in Westbrook, Maine
posted 7th Jan
Quoting Kismet:" That sounds a lot like my sister. She is very brilliant and only has one person she calls a friend and ... [snip!] ... out with our mom dad and granny. She is not that very social and she likes her area as her area even though they are messy."


Has she been evaluated?
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I have 2 kids & live in Westbrook, Maine
posted 7th Jan
Quoting Rain (aka Mama):" Maybe you could show her other famous people who've had Asperger's? I mean, the majority of the smart, ... [snip!] ... he can get help with the social issues, so he can interact better with others. I think it's just the stigma that gets people. "


I'm going to compile a list and email it to her.

It breaks my heart that he doesn't have any close friends and doesn't go out anywhere . A few girls in his class have asked him out and he won't go.
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I have 2 kids & live in Westbrook, Maine
posted 7th Jan
Quoting Katrina,Phia&Easton's Ma:" Thats what my mom thinks. He can only hold (and just barely) a convo with me, my brither, mother, and ... [snip!] ... make eye contact, and doesn't get queues very well. He will actually walk away when someone starts a conversation with him."

Those are some of the biggest signs. Not making eye contact and not really getting social cues. Plus the noise thing you mentioned.

I think sending her a list is a good idea. Even if it's not Asperger's specifically, getting evaluated would still be beneficial.
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I have 3 kids & live in Monroe, Georgia
posted 7th Jan
<blockquote><b>Quoting Katrina,Phia&Easton's Ma:</b>" Thats what my mom thinks. He can only hold (and just barely) a convo with me, my brither, mother, and ... [snip!] ... make eye contact, and doesn't get queues very well. He will actually walk away when someone starts a conversation with him."</blockquote>




To be honest, I think it's more environmentally. He grow up with dale, you know how controlling and isolating he was. You were older so it didn't effect you the same but K was little. Plus going through his dad not wanting anything to do with him and your mom being so passive and not wanting to see truth.
I think with therapy he could be totally different. He was such an affectionate and talkative kid. I think he could get back to that. But unless your mom wants to open her eyes and help him idk how that would happen.
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I have 1 child & live in Beach Haven, New Jersey
posted 7th Jan
Quoting Jenna+1:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Katrina,Phia&Easton's Ma:</b>" Thats what my mom thinks. He ... [snip!] ... kid. I think he could get back to that. But unless your mom wants to open her eyes and help him idk how that would happen."

I sent her a text and an email but I haven't heard anything back yet..
I thought maybe that was it too in the beginning but even after he went to counseling he wouldn't talk to anyone so idk
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I have 2 kids & live in Westbrook, Maine
posted 7th Jan
<blockquote><b>Quoting Katrina,Phia&Easton's Ma:</b>" I sent her a text and an email but I haven't heard anything back yet.. I thought maybe that was it too in the beginning but even after he went to counseling he wouldn't talk to anyone so idk"</blockquote>




That's tough! Ugh, I really hope she answered back and actually does something this time! I loved Kevin and don't want him to end up like Bret. How is he doing btw? Have you heard from him lately?
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I have 1 child & live in Beach Haven, New Jersey
posted 7th Jan
Quoting Jenna+1:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Katrina,Phia&Easton's Ma:</b>" I sent her a text and an email ... [snip!] ... something this time! I loved Kevin and don't want him to end up like Bret. How is he doing btw? Have you heard from him lately?"


I really don't either. He's such a good kid and I want him to get the help that he needs.

Brett won't answer my texts or calls but according to my dad, he did send in all his paper work and he is currently looking for a job. So I am praying sooooooooo hard that things start turining around for him.
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I have 2 kids & live in Westbrook, Maine
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