Quoting pixie b:" A friend of mine went for a chemical, she had no previous births so she had to have the misoprostol pessary ... [snip!] ... luck I'll keep everything crossed for you that all is well! Just because it can happen, doesn't mean it necessarily will xx"
Thanks, i have a copy of my 20 minute ultrasound so I just went back and checked. The sonographer had said her fist was balled up so she couldn't say all of the fingers were there. I don't think I can try abortion again over missing fingers anyway, but at least I would have time to get myself mentally prepared to deal with causing a defect.
I can't even talk to my husband about my fears since he is the one who demanded the abortion in the first place by getting violent and going crazy. I keep telling myself I wasn't forced, that this was my choice but I'm not convinced...
The vivid nightmares you get during pregnancy don't help my guilty feeling either. I keep dreaming I go through this whole thing and then she dies being born from an undetectable heart problem and I never even get to say sorry or goodbye. This morning I woke up with tears and felt like someone was sitting on my chest.
I just wish I could fast forward already and know exactly what is going to happen so i can stop worrying or if it's serious enough have it taken care of before I'm 22 weeks.