Not doing great :-/

Me and my husband tried for close to a year to conceive. When we finaly did, we were soooooo happy! Unfortunately, I miscarried at exactly 7 weeks with no explaination. About 3 weeks ago.

I feel like I have gotten no real support. And it sure doesn't help having 6 pregnant friends, one due the same time that i was. Also every single army wife in my husbands company is pregnant except me and one other. I Had to quit my job as a newborn photographer because I just couldn't handle it.

Any advice on coping with the loss? I want to be a mother so bad, and I know my husband desperately wants to be a father. He just doesnt seem to be showing any emotion about it. hes leaving in 2 days for a month of training and im really afraid to be alone with these feelings...

I'm sorry for your loss.   Was this your first pregnancy?

You are 19 and have plenty of time! Your time WILL come.

Hang in there. <3

Anybody at all? I could use the support.

I'm so sorry for your loss   I've had a stillbirth and so has my grandmother; my mother miscarried her first early on and I can tell you this kind of grief is something you never forget. You find a way to process it and incorporate it into your being, but it changes you - because it's not the gestation that's important, it's the lifetime of what-ifs and possibilities that are gone forever.

When I lost my son I was working in a babywear/children's department and saw pregnant women ALL the time. It nearly broke me and they had to transfer me to another department in the end. I'd smile and make small talk and ask when they were due our of some kind of masochism I guess - because it crushed me if I found out they were due around the time I was, or were the same gestation I was when I lost him.

Have you seen the MISS foundation forums? I found them helpful at the time, although more than 10 years on I don't go there anymore: http://www.missfoundation.org I'll keep you and your husband in my thoughts - I hope that 2013 will be your year, and I hope you can find people sympathetic to your grief. Baby loss is something that makes people so uncomfortable they like to keep it hidden - but it sure hurts when it's you suffering.

Technically yes it was my first, I had a chemical about 8 months ago. Im afraid I may have trouble staying pregnant because my mom did also. And my husband had epiditimitus, so we were surprised to even get pregnant naturally.

<blockquote><b>Quoting JessieLeeAnne:</b>" I'm sorry for your loss.   Was this your first pregnancy? You are 19 and have plenty of time! Your time WILL come. Hang in there. <3"</blockquote>



I agree. It's a hard thing to go through.

What helped me was trusting that everything happens for a reason, and it just wasn't the right time for us to have another baby. Although that helped me, it might not be the best advice for you.

I would advise setting up an appointment with your ob, and discussing your feelings. During my miscarriage my ob made sure to tell me if I had any kind of depression to come in. Maybe they can refer you for counseling. Maybe grief counseling would be a good thing for you.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Achelois:</b>" I'm so sorry for your loss   I've had a stillbirth and so has my grandmother; my mother miscarried her ... [snip!] ... loss is something that makes people so uncomfortable they like to keep it hidden - but it sure hurts when it's you suffering."</blockquote>



Thank you! And your right its a big deal with the "what ifs" :-/

Quoting Jdowhow:" Technically yes it was my first, I had a chemical about 8 months ago. Im afraid I may have trouble staying ... [snip!] ... staying pregnant because my mom did also. And my husband had epiditimitus, so we were surprised to even get pregnant naturally."

Please don't think that way. You're not your mother and miscarriage, sadly, is all too common. It doesn't mean that your next will end this way - but I know your next pregnancy will probably be very stressful, so try to keep supportive people close.

I hope that didn't sound harsh   I just know how brutal pregnancy after loss is. It made me a neurotic mess with my daughter and we struggled to bond because of it - I was so afraid she'd die, even after she was born. She's 8, and she's fine, but it's been a long road. If you can access grief counselling, I strongly suggest you do it. Does anyone run a miscarriage support line near you? Here, we had an all-hours free call number. Another resource you might find helpful is this one: http://www.miscarriagesupport.org.nz I know that nothing is the same as having a friend to call on in person, though.

Its hard at first i have been there 4 times, but with time come healing especially if you have people there to just listen. I can honestly say i am in a better place now, and i truely believe everything happens for a reason. Im not very religious either.

Im sorry for your loss. I lost one in april, it hurts alot and alot of people i knew were pregnant. Right now is the hardest part, all you can see is babies and pregnant people and im sure like me it kills you. Soon that will pass and everything will feel normal again. It will happen when its time.