Quoting Lucas'Mama:" So a few years ago (not sure exactly when) spanking your child was made illegal. It was meant to stop ... [snip!] ... by his father, or anyone else. Sorry if this makes no sense or I've repeated myself, I'm typing one-handed while BFing lol"
SO was very pro spanking until I debated with him. I showed him information and facts relating to spanking as well as teaching him other methods rather than spanking.
He still was a little pro spanking after, but has calmed down a lot by it.
We worked on an age that he could spank, which is 5, and also a chart. We would go to other methods first before the spanking and BOTH of us had to agree on when a spanking would be appropriate.
3. Time Out/Grounding/Extra Chores ((whatever fits the crime))
It's all about compromise and BOTH of you must feel comfortable. It you do not want spanking at ALL, I would recommend parenting classes for him or you need to leave because this will just cause fights and you both will be miserable.
Oh...and if it is illegal. He doesnt need to do ANY spanking because if LO ever told anyone, he can be taken away from you or you both could face jail time and a record.