Having problems w/ Younger Boyfriend

I've been dating my boyfriend for a year, and I never thought an age difference would be that difficult because I truly believe that when you guys are in your 30s, you'll have the same maturity.

Anyway, let me speed up the story here... I am 27, he is 24. I have a Bachelor's Degree and have a steady job, it's not great, but I'm confident that I can advance in my career. My family love him, every time we go out to eat, we include him, or any kind of event, we include him, too.

In the beginning, it was great.. he was going back to school, he had a part-time job that he was in for 2 years, and I didn't mind until he got laid off - he was getting lazy at his job. A month later, he got into another job, but instead he got fired. His personality isn't very typical masculine and so far, he doesn't really have a job. It's put a strain in our relationship since I see myself a year older that I would like to feel at least finacially secure (or at least advancing).

I know that for his age, at 24, it's normal to be at between jobs, and I would like your thoughtful, unbiased advice. Also, his parents aren't really together and every time his dad comes back once in a while, he and his dad would go out to eat without his mom, but every time I ask him to include me, he seems to make some excuse that oh his dad is shy (which he is) or it's not a good time, etc. My bf does bring me to his extended family stuff (cousin's) but for his immediate family, there is absolutely no warmth.

It's really affecting me... I love him, but I don't know if we should be together since we have both different wants. I'm afraid I don't have the patience to wait for him to finish school (in 3 years: I'll be 30 by then...) and my goal is hopefully wed before 30 and have a baby by then. I feel that he could try harder in olooking for jobs (he isn't really looking everyday...) and I guess I get jealous that I'm working so much (sometimes 12 hour days) while my family is friendly to him by cooking for him, etc.

What are you thoughts? I hope to hear unbiased opinions.

I don't understand why my post was flagged as "drama," please explain?

You two are at separate points in your life and I would probably leave and find someone who is closer to you. It's why I realized I like older men. They tend to have steadier jobs, finished having children, house, etc.

Quoting khigh:" You two are at separate points in your life and I would probably leave and find someone who is closer ... [snip!] ... is closer to you. It's why I realized I like older men. They tend to have steadier jobs, finished having children, house, etc."

May I ask how old you are, and what is your relationship status with your boyfriend / husband and how you guys are right now? I have been thinking that too, I do tend to like older men.

The security and his family upbringing is killing me.

He seems lazy. My DH has always had a full time job even while in school.

i have always liked older men. whether they be 2 years my elder, or 10.

it seems like he just has a crappy work ethic, getting laid off, then getting fired, and not even really bothering to look. it would also bother me not being close to his parents or him making excuses. that would really hit a nerve with me. especially when you have children - are his parents going to be around then? will he just take the baby to see them w/o you? it just seems a little off.

Quoting CerealMakerWife♥:" He seems lazy. My DH has always had a full time job even while in school."

What's DH, and is he also younger?

Quoting C410:" May I ask how old you are, and what is your relationship status with your boyfriend / husband and how ... [snip!] ... right now? I have been thinking that too, I do tend to like older men. The security and his family upbringing is killing me."

I am 26. SO just turned 50. We started dating about 3 months ago and I've known him for 7 years. We get along great. He and I both like the same things and he owns his own business and has a manager there that is good enough that he can retire soon.

Quoting JiLLiAN.:" i have always liked older men. whether they be 2 years my elder, or 10. it seems like he just has a ... [snip!] ... children - are his parents going to be around then? will he just take the baby to see them w/o you? it just seems a little off."

It's been a year, and we never ate as a family.
We ate together...with other people, but his family is kind of weird, his parents aren't really separated/divorced, but they live in different states.

I dont' care if we eat at the house, at least eat something! It really bothers me as I feel his work ethic isn't as big as mine, nor his family is as close as mine. I wonder if it is because of his age?

<blockquote><b>Quoting C410:</b>" What's DH, and is he also younger?"</blockquote>




Dear husband. We are both 26 met at 18.

Quoting CerealMakerWife♥:" <blockquote><b>Quoting C410:</b>" What's DH, and is he also younger?"</blockquote> Dear husband. We are both 26 met at 18."

That's very sweet that he was able to maintain a full-time job.

I know that my boyfriend has a third interview for a job next week, but I keep telling him that he shouldn't put his eggs in one basket and he should still keep looking, etc. When I was out of a job, I literally stat on my butt for hours to apply 3-4 jobs a day just to get a call back : - /.

I would probably tell him his lack of motivation is a turn off. My bf is 21 and he is closer to meeting goals than yours is at 24. It's not that younger men are bad. Your guy might need a kick in the pants. Counseling. Ultimatums. You need to let him know you won't put up with his laziness.

Quoting C410:" It's been a year, and we never ate as a family. We ate together...with other people, but his family ... [snip!] ... me as I feel his work ethic isn't as big as mine, nor his family is as close as mine. I wonder if it is because of his age?"

i just read your profile, is he Chinese too, or no? Cause I think you being Chinese, and having non-native parents, that your work ethic is much stronger than pretty much any American, and that your family has much different family values than a lot of Americans.

I am 20 and my boyfriend is 18. Even that little of age difference makes a big difference. We disagree on a lot of things. He is in the whole party stage and procrastinates a ton. I on the other hand, dont care for partying or his subs and smurf like that. Its very clear we are on different pages sometimes

Quoting JiLLiAN.:" i just read your profile, is he Chinese too, or no? Cause I think you being Chinese, and having non-native ... [snip!] ... is much stronger than pretty much any American, and that your family has much different family values than a lot of Americans."

Yeah my parents don't understand English, and we were pretty much raised to have super work ethic haha. My boyfriend is also Chinese, but I feel that because I'm older, I feel as though my time is ticking. I would like to get married in a couple of years, but given our financial situation, I'm not so sure if that's possible anymore.