Am I wrong or is he crazy

So my child's father slowly comes around when he wants to and I continuously asked him when is my daughter ever going to get a chance to meet his side of the family because my child's father never wanted her and he resents me from keeping my child. So he told me that he doesn't get along with his mom and he doesn't speak to his side of the family like that. So I asked him what does that has to do with my daughter? He always use the phrase as a cop out everytime that my daughter wasn't suppose to be here, this is a choice that I made so why does it matter if she knows his side of the family or not. Months past and I finally grew some courage to reach out to his mom and inform her that she's has a grandchild. I was relieved that she still recognize who I was because we haven't spoke to each other in 3 years and I felt like my child's father was trying to keep me away from his family for a reason. His mom wanted to see her grand child so she told me that she was going to call him to ask him why he didn't let him know. He instantly called me yelling at me and wanted to know why I called him mother. He said that wasn't my place and I should have ran that by him first BUT the thing is if I did that he would of discourage me not to call his mom. I want to know was I wrong for reaching out to his mom to let her know that she has another grandchild because I felt that it is her right to know despite their differences

Nope, you're not wrong. I think you had every right to reach out to your child's fathers family. After all, they are her family too!

I agree with you on this one.

If I were you I wouldnt want to get more of the family involved since he isnt doing his part but I dont think you are crazy for doing so.. Hopefully they can be suppoirtive to you and your baby--- and maybe talk so sense into him?? Good luck!

If he wasnt man enough to tell his parents, then yes I think you have a right to. Your child deserves as much love and support as he/she can get from both sides of the family. And at least this way even if your ex doesnt want to be involved, maybe his family will be. Sounds like he's just not ready to grow up and accept responsibility.

That's a tricky one. On the one hand, you can't force the father to have a relationship with your daughter. I mean you can make him pay to help support her, but you can't make him not resent her. If he does resent her, would you want her around that anyway? where she always feels unwanted and unloved by her dad?

Calling his mom was part of the whole forcing him to acknowledge his daughter issue. In his position, I would be mad too. I don't know if you were wrong or not, but I don't think it's going to help your daughter's relationship with her dad at all. In fact, I think this will make it a whole bunch worse.

You were not wrong.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Summerfrost:</b>" That's a tricky one. On the one hand, you can't force the father to have a relationship with your daughter. ... [snip!] ... it's going to help your daughter's relationship with her dad at all. In fact, I think this will make it a whole bunch worse."</blockquote>
But just because he doesn't want to be in her life, doesn't mean his family doesn't and as long as there isn't any real reason she should be kept from them- they deserve to know her and her them

Quoting Summerfrost:" That's a tricky one. On the one hand, you can't force the father to have a relationship with your daughter. ... [snip!] ... it's going to help your daughter's relationship with her dad at all. In fact, I think this will make it a whole bunch worse."

I don't see how she is forcing him to acknowledge her daughter by contacting her BD's mother.

This child deserves to know this family, as they are her family! And maybe they would like to be able to be a part of the child's life as well, regardless of whether the father is involved or not.

Quoting Mj's Crazy Mama♥:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Summerfrost:</b>" That's a tricky one. On the one hand, you ... [snip!] ... family doesn't and as long as there isn't any real reason she should be kept from them- they deserve to know her and her them"

  

Quoting Mj's Crazy Mama♥:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Summerfrost:</b>" That's a tricky one. On the one hand, you ... [snip!] ... family doesn't and as long as there isn't any real reason she should be kept from them- they deserve to know her and her them"

I agree with this. I just don't think it's going to fix the issue with the dad and if he didn't want to acknowledge her before, he is going to want to do it even less now. It sounds like he is trying real hard to pretend this whole thing never happened and she went and spilled the beans. Do i think he's an immature jerk? Sure do. ;)

Quoting Summerfrost:" I agree with this. I just don't think it's going to fix the issue with the dad and if he didn't want ... [snip!] ... to pretend this whole thing never happened and she went and spilled the beans. Do i think he's an immature jerk? Sure do. ;) "

I agree that he is an immature jerk!

Personally, my kid's dad told all of his family but more for being able to use the kids for leverage (ie, "I swear I'm getting clean this time because of the kids").

I think children need to know or at least have the chance to know their families... which means both sides. It isn't always fun or pretty, me being involved with my children's dad's family, but I'm not doing it for me... it's for them.

I don't think you were wrong.

I do want to say, be prepared for them to think you've done things totally wrong. For them to feel entitled to time with your kids, to demand things. You obviously don't have to do what they tell you, but now that they (she) know(s) it's another whole ball game, and things can get ugly uickly.

Thanks for your input guys and he did tell me that because I reached out to his mom that he will not come around & this was the decision that I put amongst myself. I just have to continue raising my daughter with support of my family and friends and if his family wants to help me out and be involved cool. Not to mention my bd has a son that is 5 months older than my daughter and his family knows about that child but not mine. I just wonder how does this Man sleep at night

Quoting Chazzy112:" Thanks for your input guys and he did tell me that because I reached out to his mom that he will not ... [snip!] ... older than my daughter and his family knows about that child but not mine. I just wonder how does this Man sleep at night"

My ex didn't and still doesn't tell his family anything about our daughter the great thing is he just moved to Maine! He has nothing to do with my daughter but his sister asks all the time about her and has come to see her. His mother still doesn't try and the rest of his family doesn't but his sister does. I've tried reaching out to them but they seem to not care. Which is their loss not my daughters. I think you did the right thing I know I tried the same thing and if that makes him not want to be around sounds like a win win for you.