re: D&D "Quit crying like a little girl"

My bigger issue would be the fact that someone else said it to him.

That statement itself hasn't really affected me, since all I have are little girls  
I don't know that I would think too much about it if I ha a boy, though.

Meh not from family but a random person I'd be mad. I just say "quitcha bitchin" lol

Quoting Big'n:" My bigger issue would be the fact that someone else said it to him. Thames statement itself hasn't ... [snip!] ... affected me, since all I have are little girls   I don't know that I would think too much about it if I ha a boy, though."

  If someone else said it to one of my kids then there would be smurf going down.

If you look into it, I guess it would be sexist. But it really doesn't bother me personally. I would be pissed if anyone said it to my son though, because it's not their place to be telling him what to do period. If he is crying there is probably a reason, even if he is just being whiny. KWIM?


I also wouldn't want him saying it either. It sounds like something a bully would say.

Quoting speaktruth2powr:" I feel like it is enforcing the stereotype that men can't show emotion otherwise they are seen as weak or effeminate. It can be really damaging in the long run."

Exactly.

Quoting Big'n:" My bigger issue would be the fact that someone else said it to him. That statement itself hasn't really ... [snip!] ... affected me, since all I have are little girls   I don't know that I would think too much about it if I ha a boy, though."

He said it to his son as well...

We've been friends for a long time and I wasn't about to ruin a friendship over his slight ignorance.

"Man-up" "quit crying like a girl"....

 

Quoting **milfshake**:" He said it to his son as well... We've been friends for a long time and I wasn't about to ruin a friendship over his slight ignorance. "Man-up" "quit crying like a girl"....  "

I hate gender stereotyping! I think stuff like this is far more damaging then the whole "boy toys"/"girl toys" thing that everyone gets upset about.

Words are weapons.

Telling a boy that he is acting like a girl by showing emotion, and using terms like "pussy", "fag", "girly", to describe behaviour that isn't optimal also casts women in a negative light as well. Generations of men grew up thinking that women were inferior to them and that emotion is considered a detriment.

Quoting **milfshake**:" He said it to his son as well... We've been friends for a long time and I wasn't about to ruin a friendship over his slight ignorance. "Man-up" "quit crying like a girl"....  "

If ya'll are that good of friends, then telling him not to say things like that to your child shouldnt ruin your friendship.

My father said it to my 22 month old a few days ago and I ripped him a new smurf.

If my son wants to cry, he can cry. I don't care who has a problem with it or thinks it's "girly". It's okay to have emotions, whether you're male or female.

I also find it really annoying that some of the women I know who say this to their sons will turn around and wonder why their boyfriend/husband has such a hard time showing them any type of emotion  

It's mean, disrespectful and unkind, no matter who it's to. Even just, "Quit crying," doesn't even have to be followed by "like a girl" or "like a baby."

Telling someone to quit crying is dismissing THEIR feelings because you think YOURS are right.

I marvel at the people who hate it when their SO dismisses their feelings or tells them to suck it up about things that are important to them but not necessarily to their SO and then turn around and say it to their children. Where do you think your SO learned to be insensitive to the feelings of others!?

Quoting Soon 2B Mom of 2:" If ya'll are that good of friends, then telling him not to say things like that to your child shouldnt ruin your friendship."

It wasn't worth the argument to me.

Quoting speaktruth2powr:" I hate gender stereotyping! I think stuff like this is far more damaging then the whole "boy toys"/"girl ... [snip!] ... light as well. Generations of men grew up thinking that women were inferior to them and that emotion is considered a detriment."

I couldn't agree more.

Telling him to stop crying is telling him to stop feeling. Sometimes I will tell him that he needs to calm down, or chill out when he is unnecessarily crying, KWIM? Usually that happens when he is tired and whining.

And I got into an argument with my SO about my son and how I am going to ensure that he doesn't view women as inferior. His argument was that there are outside influences (mainly school/friends) that will be more influential then me and our family.

I don't think thats true at all; and I think its that kind of attitude that keeps this kind of gender stereotype bullsmurf alive. As parents, we can be more influential with our kids long-term values then some little smurfhead at school.

<blockquote><b>Quoting speaktruth2powr:</b>" I hate gender stereotyping! I think stuff like this is far more damaging then the whole "boy toys"/"girl ... [snip!] ... light as well. Generations of men grew up thinking that women were inferior to them and that emotion is considered a detriment."</blockquote>




Words are "weapons"???

Hahahaha.

Only if you let them be.

Quoting ~Julie Blue Eyes~:" <blockquote><b>Quoting speaktruth2powr:</b>" I hate gender stereotyping! I think stuff ... [snip!] ... and that emotion is considered a detriment."</blockquote> Words are "weapons"??? Hahahaha. Only if you let them be."

I partially agree with you. I think that can definitely be accurate in the case of a mostly mentally stable adult. In the case of children, they are impressionable, and don't usually have the capacity to stop and think: "These are just words, they only mean what I let them mean, they can only get to me if I allow them to." Small children can be extremely bright, don't get me wrong, but they generally lack the ability to separate emotion from fact, especially if something is said that provokes a strong emotion.

Quoting ~Julie Blue Eyes~:" <blockquote><b>Quoting speaktruth2powr:</b>" I hate gender stereotyping! I think stuff ... [snip!] ... and that emotion is considered a detriment."</blockquote> Words are "weapons"??? Hahahaha. Only if you let them be."

Tell that to a child... 

Were you ever bullied as a kid?