I have been on and off with my child's father for 6 years and I will say we were in a committed relationship out of those 2 years. I found out that he was involved with someone else when she contacted me. Make the long story short she informed that she was pregnant with his child and when i tried to confront him about it he completely ignored me for a month. Then one day he contacted me as if nothing happened. He downplayed her as if she was lying to me about their relationship and was in complete denial about being pregnant. So i foolishly forgave him and we started being intimate again and then months later I found out i was pregnant early dec 2011. I told him right away that I was pregnant and he told me I had to get rid of it because he couldnt afford it right now and not to mention the other girl is pregnant with his child that he didnt intentionally plan with her and denied from the beginning. So I told him yes i am partially responsible for putting myself in this situation with him BUT not for one second will I discontinue my pregnancy because the next chick is pregnant. He told me if I kept the baby I will be on my own and that he will not have anything to do with the baby because I am being selfish and not thinking about him and his other 2 kids. Further down the road I started becoming more attached to my unborn child and he called me once in a and a while trying to convince me to get an abortion so it will be best for me and him. I felt like i was being coerced he was giving me ultimatums either him or the baby. So i grew some balls and had the baby. I never felt so alone during my pregnancy YES my family was supportive but he wasn't around. I feel like you dont treat anybody who you claim you sincerely love like that. Once I contacted him about her arrival he totally blew it off and eventually came to see when we came home. He told me that I still made a mistake and i smurfed him over. He bluntly told me that he's not going to be around like that because she wasnt suppose to be here. And now he sees her twice a month and he lives right around the corner from us and he never contributed to anything since shes been born. But he does everything else for his other kids but not mine. I told him be upset with me for my decision in keeping my child but do not take it out on my baby because she didnt ask to be here. Do you guys think I was being selfish or he was being selfish because I was only going off of what he was telling me and always denied being with this other woman and denied that the other child was his at first.
I agree with the previous post. I would take him to court for child support. And I know I didn't want to persue child support with my daughter because I thought it meant I was a bad mom. BUT I WAS WRONG.. And he is not a good person at all.. You made the right choice in keeping your child..Do not let him be mentally abusive to you! You should have court ordered Visitations and make rules if he wants to see here he can't badger you while he's visiting! Don't let him bring you down your a mother to a beautiful baby girl. I wouldn't even worry about him just focus on being the best mom you can be without him!
<blockquote><b>Quoting Chazzy112:</b>" I have been on and off with my child's father for 6 years and I will say we were in a committed relationship ... [snip!] ... off of what he was telling me and always denied being with this other woman and denied that the other child was his at first. "</blockquote>
Its funny how your story is pretty damn similar to mine.Yet n still i deal with the douche to this day.I dont think you are or were being selfish.