Quoting (♥ my littles]™:" How do I keep him in time out? I'm seriously open to trying anything.. I have to admit that I have potched ... [snip!] ... I don't want him to fear me or flinch when he sees my hands.. but I'm at my wit's end and I don't know what else to do!!!!!"
children at that age can understand way more than u think. timeout needs to be a safe place for children that ''flip out'' like that. A porta crib or highchair that has buckles can be a good option for children that refuse to stay in place.
explain to the child why they are in time out ...."u need a time out because its not okay to scream like that when you are not hurt..." etc, let him know his ''time out will be over when he stops the behavior he is being disaplined for.
You need to be strong and just walk away until tantrum is over. When u begin this discipline process the tantrum may get louder and longer untill the child makes the connection between behaving and being let out of time out. The child may scream and cry themselves to sleep or even make themselves vomit. If they fall asleep, leave them where they are untill the wake and then ask them if they are ready to behave when they wake up so they make the connection of the situation to their behavior. if they vomit, wipe them off and let them know that their behavior is the cause for their discomfort. It is all a power struggle and letting the child know they are incharge of the outcome of the situation at hand is important.
Also, NO can be a ''trigger word'' try saying ''not right now'' or setting a time frame....ex. "we are only shopping for groceries today so u you cannot get that toy right now''