I just need to get it out.
posted 4th Jan
I know there are moms on here that have it way worse than I do when it comes to having babies, but after this past week, I've been thinking a lot. This baby was not expected, or even wanted at first, in fact, DH already his vasectomy appointment set up when we found out. But, we quickly got excited, and we were looking forward to having three little ones. Then it happened, the cramps, the blood, the news that we already knew in the back of our minds.
It makes me feel... broken? I guess you could say. I've had a really bad week, emotionally. I don't want to get pregnant again, but, I want that baby back.
DH understands, as we've been through this twice before. But this time is different, and the grieving process is harder for me.
I'm trying hard to remember that I do have two wonderful babies that I have been blessed with, and some women don't even have one, so I should feel lucky, and I do.
I just needed to get that out. DH says he'll cancel his vasectomy, and we can TTC again, but I don't want that. I just want to still be pregnant.
I know that doesn't make any sense at all, but that's just how I feel.
I have 2 kids & 3 angel babies & live in Texas