pets

My fiance and I currently live with his mother who is in her late 50s and unmarried. They have two dogs and she doesn't clean. The dog hair and dander are horrible. I constantly feel like I can't breath and the dogs have free reign over the house. I can't sit anywhere without being covered in hair. We are expecting in april and this issue really bothers me. We are moving in a few weeks into a house with her rathee than a duplex, but I'm not sure how to bring up my issues without offending her or sounding ungrateful. She decided to purchase the house without discussing anything with us which has reall put a damper our plans to buy our own this year. The house is 4 bedrooms and about 2500 square feet which would be too much for just her. I'm not even sure how to discuss any of this with her and my fiance beats around the bush because he is her only child. I don't want to live with her forever because we plan on having more children and this will already be our second and we will need all the space we can get. She has literally discussed nothing with us and since I found out by overhearing a phone conversation I have been pissed.

Well I wouldn't move in with her. It's not really your problem if she bought a house that's too much to afford or too big to live in without you....it's her problem she did it without asking.

Quoting Captain Obvious:" Well I wouldn't move in with her. It's not really your problem if she bought a house that's too much to afford or to big to live in without you....it's her problem she did it without asking."

This!

Quoting Brynn's Mommy (::" My fiance and I currently live with his mother who is in her late 50s and unmarried. They have two dogs ... [snip!] ... get. She has literally discussed nothing with us and since I found out by overhearing a phone conversation I have been pissed."

i have the same prob i live in my hubbys grandmas basement and have for 6 yrs i cant convince my hubby to leave he owns half the land we have 80 acres and i everytime i bring up how we need to move into our own space cus im expecting again (our 3rd baby) he says he dont wanna leave he owns half the land and he feels obligated to stay and care for her cus his mom died so i think he figures if he is here he can stop her from dying, but its putting a strain on our marriage we are about to lose our bedroom because the kids need it after this one is born and we will be out in the living room sleeping i hate that, but i have no credit and he has bad credit and no job (has been looking for a yr) so we cant get a bank loan to get us a place i signed up for sec 8 and there is a 3-5 yr waiting list... so needless to say if you have the funds i would get your own place soon the longer you wait the harder it will be for him to leave cus my hubby is a single child too and you dont wanna end up like me living like that for 6 yrs good luck hun

I wouldn't have an issue if it was temporary for us but I feel like she is trying to trap us into staying with hee because we would pay half and I would get stuck cleaning up after everyone incuding her dogs. She works all day my fiance works all day and I work third shift along with a two year old so I'm not sure how I would handle it and personally I shouldn't have to

Quoting Brynn's Mommy (::" I wouldn't have an issue if it was temporary for us but I feel like she is trying to trap us into staying ... [snip!] ... day and I work third shift along with a two year old so I'm not sure how I would handle it and personally I shouldn't have to"

There is only one queen in every castle. Trust me, you're going to be miserable. We lived with my parents for 8 months when our lease was up and we were trying to buy a house. It was a nightmare, and my mom is like my best friend.

<blockquote><b>Quoting AngelWhispers:</b>" i have the same prob i live in my hubbys grandmas basement and have for 6 yrs i cant convince my hubby ... [snip!] ... for him to leave cus my hubby is a single child too and you dont wanna end up like me living like that for 6 yrs good luck hun"</blockquote>


Thanks. I definitely feel trapped. And his mom constantly puts a strain on our relationship. I'm constantly stressed out because of her and her nagging. She expects the house to be peaceful but with a two year old that's not going to happen and I'm not sure what she expects with a newborn too. Not only that but growing up there were 8 people in my house so peace doesn't exist to me,

Quoting Brynn's Mommy (::" I wouldn't have an issue if it was temporary for us but I feel like she is trying to trap us into staying ... [snip!] ... day and I work third shift along with a two year old so I'm not sure how I would handle it and personally I shouldn't have to"

i agree with captain obvious only because im living it right now she will trap you there cus its her only child and its the same with my hubby i cant stand it but i cant do anything about it cus we both dont have a job i will have one in the spring hopefully but me and his grandma fight 24/7 2 women brought up in different generations cant co exist ever so i say as soon as you have the chance and finances find a place of your own it will be easier on you and your relationship  

Quoting Brynn's Mommy (::" <blockquote><b>Quoting AngelWhispers:</b>" i have the same prob i live in my hubbys ... [snip!] ... what she expects with a newborn too. Not only that but growing up there were 8 people in my house so peace doesn't exist to me,"

This was exactly my mom's problem, she couldn't stand the chaos that is children that are 19 months apart and fight and scream.

Quoting Brynn's Mommy (::" <blockquote><b>Quoting AngelWhispers:</b>" i have the same prob i live in my hubbys ... [snip!] ... what she expects with a newborn too. Not only that but growing up there were 8 people in my house so peace doesn't exist to me,"

i know hun thats cus you are im trapped too and it will never end until you leave i wish i could trust me i would be so much happier and i think me and my hubby would be too cus we now argue everyday as well and his grandma tries to tell me how to raise my kids she seems to think cus she has raised hers and they are grown she should raise mine cus she tech raised my hubby too cus his mom worked all the time to give him a better life i wish you so much luck hun

<blockquote><b>Quoting Captain Obvious:</b>" There is only one queen in every castle. Trust me, you're going to be miserable. We lived with my ... [snip!] ... for 8 months when our lease was up and we were trying to buy a house. It was a nightmare, and my mom is like my best friend."</blockquote>



I agree. I never had an issue living at my house but my family does their own thing. She feels like the world owes her something because she's been a single. I was a single mom with my first but I definitely don't see it as everyone needs to kiss my ass. One day she complains that she should be living in her little duplex with her dogs and the next day she's buying a huge house. It'd be one thing if things were more clean and I'm ocd about it but I'm not going to clean up after her pets or her. I might be a nurse but I don't want to come home and take care of her too!

I am dreading having this baby simply because of her. I will freak if she's constantly hovering around me and the baby and think she can do whatever since my two year old isn't technically her grandbaby. I raised my daughter on my own and I would rather have her help only when I ask. I can't stand when my daughtee fusses and she thinks she needs to rush over like she's dying. Some days I just want to scream at her to buzz off. Yu don't mess with momma bears cubs ;)

Quoting Brynn's Mommy (::" I am dreading having this baby simply because of her. I will freak if she's constantly hovering around ... [snip!] ... needs to rush over like she's dying. Some days I just want to scream at her to buzz off. Yu don't mess with momma bears cubs ;)"

amen sister , my hubbys grandma does the same damn thing my kids run hot like their dad and she constantly bitches cus my kids take their clothes off and run around in a diaper and underwear she thinks just cus she is cold they must be like im gonna force my kids to wear clothes when they are hot and sweating i dont think so lol