Quoting Rain (aka Mama):" For me it's more like really, really wanting to gtfo but not being sure if that's what I'm supposed ... [snip!] ... Maybe I'm just supposed to deal with it. I dunno. There's nothing physical now. But there was in the past. And thanks <3"
i don't believe in this at all. lol. no offense. i don't believe that you should just deal with it. that's not the way to live or think or act, especially not for the kids. and furthermore, i kind of feel like if you're worried about upsetting them... honestly, they will get over it much quicker, the younger they are. at least, that is what i believe. my parents divorced when i was less than 3. my mother did remarry when i was 7 (met my stepdad when i was 3, though). maybe it's because i had a family "unit" kind of, regardless of whether he was my real dad or not, but i dealt very well with my parents' divorce. my mother said i was sad and a little angry and upset at our first christmas apart, but... i honestly don't remember those feelings and i only know they existed because i have a video tape of myself being a huge brat to my dad, lol. and because my mom explained that was why.
so.... if you're worried about the kids being upset now, just think of how they would/will feel years down the road if you really come to that breaking point again, kwim?
i say get out now, and give yourself a chance to be happy, and once you're really happy and able to enjoy life, you will see that maybe your kids are doing exactly the same.