Quoting P3RvYmCp3rv:" Rawrrr I don't know why it won't show my text that I put in there. But that is the song it made me think ... [snip!] ... for just my kids. I want to show them an example of how love is supposed to be so hopefully they will follow that example. "

That's actually a really, really good point...

Quoting Rain (aka Mama):" Yes, I do <3 I just have to cover my bases a million and three times, for some reason"

It's okay babe. You know i love you and I will support you 100% no matter what you do

Quoting Rain (aka Mama):" How old is she?"

She's five. She actually said to me the other day "Mommy you are happy. Uncle Jeff makes you happy. Daddy didn't. I'm glad you are happy".

<blockquote><b>Quoting Rain (aka Mama):</b>" What if after the split they have one parent that's happy, but one that's mad and difficult, blames the other parent, and refuses to try and go into the change smoothly? "</blockquote>


Then it is the happy parent's job to help the children through it. Possibly therapy for an outlet for their feelings; as well as the proper counseling to help them through the transition.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Rain (aka Mama):</b>" Definitely as a "I don't see us being in a happy marriage ever again" type of situation. Like, you've ... [snip!] ... you know it's not going to be worked out. It'd be solely so that the kid/s could have both parents together, under one roof."</blockquote>




Then no I would leave. It's not healthy for you or for them.

Quoting I'm His Amy He's My Rory:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Rain (aka Mama):</b>"   I don't blame you. The little voice ... [snip!] ... yells that at me non-freaking-stop."</blockquote> I also want to stab him in the testicles with a rusty BBQ fork!"

lmfao. I think I may be in love you  

i was not married, so it was obviously easier for me to leave or to kick him out, lol. and i am your 'friend' i guess you'd say, but i am going to think a little bit objectively on this one for you.

i guess my breaking point was physical abuse. i'm going to admit, i did not leave at the first instance or even the second or third. i should have left at the first, i know that. but, ultimately, that is what it came down to. it came down to me finally being in a situation one time where i actually thought he was going to squeeze the life out of me....

so, idk. i think the point is different for everyone. but there is a point that it gets to where it doesn't matter if you have kids or not, it's no way to live.

(note: i think you should leave anyway. i don't think it's physical like this for you and i don't have to know it or not. but i know it's not working anyway right now, so i think separating is the best thing.)

good luck to you in whatever you choose!

It depends why you're unhappy. If it is something that can be fixed then stay together. If it is cheating, abuse, or other forms of disrespect then go your separate ways.

Quoting Kelly&Coralie:" It's okay babe. You know i love you and I will support you 100% no matter what you do "

<3 You're the best ever.

I mean, I'm getting there. I'm farther than I was a year ago, at least.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Rain (aka Mama):</b>" lmfao. I think I may be in love you   "</blockquote>



 

Quoting Rain (aka Mama):" That's actually a really, really good point..."

If you need to talk I'm here for you hunny!   You have already been through alot! Honestly this is gonna sound horrible, but if Seth was here still I would say stick it out, but he is always with you now and always will be and you have to do what is best for his siblings ya know?

Quoting khigh:" She's five. She actually said to me the other day "Mommy you are happy. Uncle Jeff makes you happy. Daddy didn't. I'm glad you are happy"."

Wow.

My son is 4 and pretty intuitive, so that strikes a chord... I hadn't really considered them seeing it as a beneficial thing, for me or for them.

Quoting Rain (aka Mama):" What if after the split they have one parent that's happy, but one that's mad and difficult, blames the other parent, and refuses to try and go into the change smoothly? "

The kids will learn and know who loves them and who is happy and positive. They will see the other parent for the miserable bastard they are.



If you ever need anything., you know

And I am so proud of your progress. Over these last 3 years, you're become this awesome person who is going after what SHE wants for a change.

I love you

Quoting MommaNoodle:" i was not married, so it was obviously easier for me to leave or to kick him out, lol. and i am your ... [snip!] ... i know it's not working anyway right now, so i think separating is the best thing.) good luck to you in whatever you choose!"

For me it's more like really, really wanting to gtfo but not being sure if that's what I'm supposed to do. I don't like the idea of me acting selfishly by leaving, and upsetting the kids, etc. Plus the whole sanctity of marriage deal. Maybe I'm just supposed to deal with it. I dunno.

There's nothing physical now. But there was in the past.

And thanks <3

Hypothetical answer..

If I felt like the courts would let DH have unsupervised visits and I didn't think that was a good idea, I would stay.
For example, if DH has an anger issue but has never actually hit anyone I might still be concerned that he would have an episode of rage towards the kids and I wouldn't be there to protect them.

If I were just unhappy and DH was an awesome father then I would leave and feel good about it.

**I know this isn't what most people would consider to be the right answer, it's just how I feel atm**