Wind up merchant.. Am I a mug?

Ok say here's the story. I caught my partner texting another girl. The conversations consisted of how sexy she is, planning to meet up and how he "can't just leave me"... Before anyone says "you shouldn't be looking through his phone anyway", well if you really believed that your partner was texting his sister or his friend every day then you'd be more the mug than me. Anyway, I had a gut feeling something wasn't right and my instincts were correct.

So of course I confronted him, cool, calm and collected... His explanation was "I was just winding her up, she means nothing, its you that I love.." And so on so forth. I know he hasnt met her because he is with me every single day, and its a bus journey and a train journey away from us, something he cant afford.

I asked him to delete her number and anything else he had of her and I watched him do it. Should I believe he has truly stopped and really was just winding her up? Or am I being a mug here? I do love him, more than anything, we have a 5 month old son together and other than this mishap, our relationship is fine. Healthy arguments now and then, regular sex, laughter, comfortability... Any advice? Thoughts?

he's full of smurf.

ultimately it is up to you, if you feel like that's the end of what's been going g on and can trust him than brush it off. however if you can't trust him I wouldn't even bother with the relationship and you will tear yourself apart with paranoia .

me personally however think he is full of smurf . sorry mumma

All you can do is decide whether or not you want to continue the relationship. Perhaps seek out counselling for the two of you to gain the trust back. If he doesn't want to work on and thinks deleting her number is all it takes, then chances are nothing will change

I think you were fine to check his phone. My husband and I have the policy if it is something we should hide then it is something we shouldn't be doing. FB caused us some problems when I found out that he had his ex girlfriend on there and had been flirting with her. I go so mad I couldn't stand it... His excuse sounded something like what your man said. He wanted to get back at her for her cheating on him 10+ years ago. I told him if he was over her then it shouldn't have mattered. I watched him delete her and I check his stuff every now and then to make sure he isn't up to anything.

My advice to stuff like this is: if you feel like you could forgive.him in the near future then go get couples counciling. It can help you guys figure.out the issues and help restore your relationship.

Guys like this will continue to do the same sort of thing repeatedly, until they find someone they think is better than you. Then they'll leave. Of course some want to have their cake and eat it too, meaning they might not ever leave, but they WILL almost always have someone on the side.

<blockquote><b>Quoting 2 Baby Girls:</b>" Guys like this will continue to do the same sort of thing repeatedly, until they find someone they think ... [snip!] ... to have their cake and eat it too, meaning they might not ever leave, but they WILL almost always have someone on the side."</blockquote>




This. I will admit that I was the other girl on the other side at one point. The guy will keep doing it and find a better way to hide it. He will learn fast to delete messages as soon as they are sent or received.

<blockquote><b>Quoting khigh:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting 2 Baby Girls:</b>" Guys like this will continue to do the same ... [snip!] ... keep doing it and find a better way to hide it. He will learn fast to delete messages as soon as they are sent or received."</blockquote>




This.. i felt like mine was cheating on me or hiding something from me bc he deletes his messages all the time and only keeps ones from me. He also deletes the history on his phone browser and computer. I kept bringing it up til he finally told me he was watching porn at work. Still doesnt explain the messages though..