really need help

Hello. Ok so I've been with my boyfriend for three years. At the beginning of the relationship I found out that for a day he had been texting his ex and asked her for naughty pictures. I was devastated but we moved past it with the promise he would never speak to her again and he wouldnt tattoo her (he has a tattoo shop)

well after a while I found out he had tattooed her and never told me. And basically on new year I found out he had tattooed her again.

This all happened a while ago so im not sure whether to try and move past it. Its just that as I've just found out its fresh to me and feels like a new betrayal.
Im jusy confused. It seems stupid to end it when it all happened so long ago but I feel so upset and betrayed.

I just need some womanly advice please :'(

Well is she paying him for the tattoos? Just curious lol. And I would be frustrated since you two made an agreement and he went behind your back and did it anyway and then didn't tell you when it happened.

If it was just a tattoo, I think you're over-reacting a little bit. I mean I understand that he told you he wouldn't, but a paying customer is a paying customer.
If he's been sexting her or there was something inappropriate that happened when she went in for the tattoo, then I could understand being upset and possibly thinking of ending things.

Yes she has paid. Well he said she did but I struggle to believe what he says now. The thing with the tattoo is that its quite an intimite job and its more just that he promised he wouldnt.
Iv not had a go at him or anything. He knows im upset but has sworn it was just a tattoo and that was it.

Imagine your partner asking for pictures from an ex. And then knowing they have spent time together after. It just messes with my head.  

Understand your situation. Me and SO were together less than a month when I found facebook messages to his ex-wife. They both were planning on getting back together. I was hurt beyond works, he was my first serious relationship. I confronted him about it and told him he was free to go back to her if that is what he really wanted. He begged me not to leave him, he said he only said those things so she would let him see his kids.

That was back in 2010. Needless to say I still have trust issues when it come to his ex. Then a few days ago I found a message from his ex-wife from back in 2011. I was confused once more because at that point she was engaged to someone else. I didn't understand why she would want to talk to him via facebook when she refused to talk to him face to face or let his kids come near him. Then a month after the messages were sent her fiancee was killed, it took her two days to start calling Cory. She has been in and out of our lives since then.

Back in August we broke up and she started calling again, wanting him to come back to her. He said no, he was done with her forever and just wanted to be with me. Finally we worked things out and she was pissed. She stop letting him talk to his kids again. As of now we are trying to get along so our daughter will get to meet his kids next month.

I hope things work out for you.

Quoting ♥ laura-marie + 1:" Imagine your partner asking for pictures from an ex. And then knowing they have spent time together after. It just messes with my head.  "

It really would for me too! Just talk calmly with him about it and let him know how you feel. Maybe instead of saying he can't tattoo her anymore, ask if you can maybe be there when he does? And just act like you are doing something there while she is there? I don't know lol. And off topic, but I just snooped through your pictures and you are super pretty!

<blockquote><b>Quoting *B & D Mommy*:</b>" It really would for me too! Just talk calmly with him about it and let him know how you feel. Maybe ... [snip!] ... there while she is there? I don't know lol. And off topic, but I just snooped through your pictures and you are super pretty! "</blockquote>



Haha aww thank you   his ex draws her eyebrows on like macdonalds m's n looks like a twat so my self esteem is rock bottom at the mo lol.
Yeah well he knows im upset. I couldnt be there. If I saw her id flip lol

im just constantly surrounded by his ex's and they all seem to still be obsessed with him and its so smurfing hard. Some I can not like but others he is good friends with so I have to be nice to them. And they like to tell me smurf they have done with him. Even his mates always bring up his ex's and what hes done woth them and it all drives me mad.

So something like this happens and its like the straw that breaks the camels back you know?
I dont want to end it bit every now and again I feel overwhelmed with it all.

Quoting ♥ laura-marie + 1:" <blockquote><b>Quoting *B & D Mommy*:</b>" It really would for me too! Just talk calmly ... [snip!] ... the straw that breaks the camels back you know? I dont want to end it bit every now and again I feel overwhelmed with it all."

Aww yeah I know what you mean. That would be super frustrating! I'm not sure what advice to give  

Quoting ♥ laura-marie + 1:" <blockquote><b>Quoting *B & D Mommy*:</b>" It really would for me too! Just talk calmly ... [snip!] ... the straw that breaks the camels back you know? I dont want to end it bit every now and again I feel overwhelmed with it all."

I do completely understand what you mean by him being around all of his ex's. DH had a bunch of "flings" if you will, before he met me. None of them ended on really bad terms or anything, so he was still really good friends with, like, all of them. We all partied together, hung out together, etc. Some of them were still obviously kind of into him, and two of them actually told me that they were still in love with him.  
It took me awhile to get over the jealousy. I finally just decided that he was with me, not them, and that it shouldn't bother me. I definitely had some trust issues, but got over it with time, and now years later we have a perfectly healthy and happy marriage.

<blockquote><b>Quoting MommyToWesley:</b>" I do completely understand what you mean by him being around all of his ex's. DH had a bunch of "flings" ... [snip!] ... had some trust issues, but got over it with time, and now years later we have a perfectly healthy and happy marriage."</blockquote>


So does it get easier? The ones he is friends wih are flings. Not ex girlfriends but still. And for some reason (his friends and even a fling) I know loads of the sexual things he did with them! So I can actually picture what they really did which makes it so much harder.

Spmetimes it feels good just to get this off my chest lol

Quoting ♥ laura-marie + 1:" <blockquote><b>Quoting MommyToWesley:</b>" I do completely understand what you mean ... [snip!] ... picture what they really did which makes it so much harder. Spmetimes it feels good just to get this off my chest lol"

Yes, with time it does get easier. But like I said, it took me a long time to finally accept it. I never made it awkward to hang out with them or anything, but I would always be pissed at him after (he has a pretty flirtatious personality as well). He seriously doesn't understand what flirting is, or that what he does could be considered as coming on to someone lol. It's all innocent in his eyes, though, and that's all that really matters. Once I finally accepted that, I was fine.

Now, we did move out of town (we all lived in a college town while we went to college) and get our own place and kind of fell out of touch with all of them, but I was over it by then anyway.
Although, we did hang out with one of his ex's (the other one who told me she still loved him) while I was pregnant (not showing too much yet), and when I told her (well, when I told the whole group- we called a bunch of our friends together to share the good news) she cried about it   Needless to say, we haven't talked to her since.

He hasn't given me a reason to doubt him in years though, so that definitely helped the situation.

<blockquote><b>Quoting MommyToWesley:</b>" Yes, with time it does get easier. But like I said, it took me a long time to finally accept it. I never ... [snip!] ... talked to her since. He hasn't given me a reason to doubt him in years though, so that definitely helped the situation."</blockquote>


Yeah that sounds exactly like oli. Very flirtacious but doesnt realise hes doing it. Hes just being friendly lol I just haye that I HAVE to invite her to party's.
On my birthday in november she sat tellinf his sister about him coming on to her and them sleeping together while I was sat there and im like "oh my god! Its been years! Get over it!!"
Im always nice though and we do have a laugh together me and his fling. Just gets hard sometimes.

Thank you though. I feel better knowing im not alone in that situation lol.