re: If u didn't get to bf immediately after birth...

<blockquote><b>Quoting buggials:</b>" I have no clue mine didn't get sent to one my hospital just sucks and I didn't get to hold my daughter ... [snip!] ... in there. I think my exs brothers daughter (she had intestines on the outside) was allowed a teddy bear or something like that."</blockquote>

I have a feely horse I brought with me for her but I don't know if it could be in the incubator or not. I'll have I ask. I wanna also ask if they let me do a written care plan for her before birth so that while I'm not there she's not given anything without my permission. I didn't like the neonatologist I talked to before so I want a new one to discuss it with. Maybe I'll ask a Nurse today if they can set something up for me.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Summerfrost:</b>" I really think you'll be fine. Your body already knows what to do and I've heard that we have a bigger ... [snip!] ... exhausting and stressful. If that 2 to 4 days determined how the next year of your baby's life went, we'd all be screwed.   "</blockquote>


Thanks mama. You're right I am really struggling with this pref and my delivery and the baby after. It hurts so bad that I can't have a natural birth. It hurts that my dd can't be there with me to see her sister be born. It hurts that I have to deliver premature. It hurts that I can't see her for hours. It hurts that I can't do that crucial skin to skin the first hr. it's all just so overwhelming. So I'm afraid im gona fail. I feel like Ive failed this preg and now I'm gonna fail my dd.

Quoting lolajessup:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Summerfrost:</b>" I really think you'll be fine. Your body ... [snip!] ... hr. it's all just so overwhelming. So I'm afraid im gona fail. I feel like Ive failed this preg and now I'm gonna fail my dd."

Ok I don't know you but I'm going to say something I would say to somebody I'm good friends with I'm gonna smack ya if ya keep talking like that. You didn't fail things happen that are out of our control. The sooner you realize that the better you will do! You can't control everything. All you can do is hope for the best be the best you can be and love your dd like only you can do. So it isn't a perfect start it usually isn't, but it is a start. All it means is when you do get to be with her you have to make up for all those kisses and hugs missed. Now stop with the failing crap before you make me cry at work, I've been there I had no connection with my dd bc of me being in the hospital and I felt like I had failed until the day I realized that mentality and the depression it was putting me in wasn't doing either of us good. It is hard it sucks but you have to find a way to be positive I could't imagine being in your situation I'm glad mine was me hurt not my baby but the feeling of failure I'm sure comes across all of us at some point in time, you have to shake it off especially since you are about to go into probably one of the toughest situations of your life You haven't failed nor will you because from what I can tell you love your daughter quite a bit.

Quoting lolajessup:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Summerfrost:</b>" I really think you'll be fine. Your body ... [snip!] ... hr. it's all just so overwhelming. So I'm afraid im gona fail. I feel like Ive failed this preg and now I'm gonna fail my dd."

You didn't fail at all. In fact right now, you're fighting hard to keep her safe. You've given up pretty much everything to stay in the hospital. Right now you are doing more for your baby than you would have had to do if you had to go through a couple of hours of pain without medication.

It took me a lot of pregnancies to come to peace with it all and I wouldn't say that I am thrilled that my pregnancies are disasters. I can also see certain areas in my life where I've over-compensated a little bit with the boys. After a few months though, outside of getting great war stories, the trauma of pregnancy fades. Your daughter won't remember your pregnancy at all. All she'll know is that she had a mom who fought really hard to get her here alive and who loves her.

Quoting Thread Killa:" My daughter was rushed to the NICU after birth. She had an intentional blockage and I wasn't able to ... [snip!] ... time and even donated some to the Ronald McDonald house I was staying at. They made it easy to keep pumping and not give up."

That's pretty inspiring! sorry you had to go through that but you're one strong mama for not giving up

i didnt get to hold my son for a whole day after i had him.(i had a c-section)

i was throwing up and shaking uncontrobbly every 2 mins. (i had a bad allergic reaction to the morphine and the epidural) I had to pump and dump because of all the meds i was on.

<blockquote><b>Quoting buggials:</b>" Ok I don't know you but I'm going to say something I would say to somebody I'm good friends with ... [snip!] ... situations of your life You haven't failed nor will you because from what I can tell you love your daughter quite a bit."</blockquote>

Thanks mama. It's just so hard. I hate being alone all day with my thoughts. It's awkward when nurses come in and im crying.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Summerfrost:</b>" You didn't fail at all. In fact right now, you're fighting hard to keep her safe. You've given up pretty ... [snip!] ... your pregnancy at all. All she'll know is that she had a mom who fought really hard to get her here alive and who loves her. "</blockquote>

Thanks sweetie. I just tried so hard for this preg and had such hopes for it. Then I see all these people having great pregs. They get their ideal birth etc. and I would be having a great preg otherwise. Virtually perfect. But every step of the way it's only been worse and worse news. It's do hard to be positive when it's always getting worse news.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Gloria**:</b>" i didnt get to hold my son for a whole day after i had him.(i had a c-section) i was throwing up and ... [snip!] ... mins. (i had a bad allergic reaction to the morphine and the epidural) I had to pump and dump because of all the meds i was on."</blockquote>


  sorry mama. Did u end up getting to bf him after all that?

Quoting lolajessup:" <blockquote><b>Quoting buggials:</b>" I got to hold my daughter for about 5 mins then ... [snip!] ... at all so I won't even know what she looks like   I'm just so sad and devastated and all I do is cry when I think about it  "

I'm a little late to this and I don't have much advice, but I'm sorry you're going through this and I'm here if you need to talk. HAve you thought about getting a 3d ultrasound soon so you can see what she looks like?

<blockquote><b>Quoting Faith1LovesMLP:</b>" I'm a little late to this and I don't have much advice, but I'm sorry you're going through this and I'm ... [snip!] ... this and I'm here if you need to talk. HAve you thought about getting a 3d ultrasound soon so you can see what she looks like?"</blockquote>


I got one. It's the only good u/s I've had. The rest have been nothing but bad news   the pics are in my PB but I can't post them cause I'm on my phone   they're cute. But I wanna see the real thing   its not the same.

Quoting lolajessup:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Faith1LovesMLP:</b>" I'm a little late to this and I don't have ... [snip!] ... are in my PB but I can't post them cause I'm on my phone   they're cute. But I wanna see the real thing   its not the same."

  I wanna cry every time you talk about it.
Hopefully things won't be as bad as they think, and they can hold her up and show you for a second. Just so you can get a peek. I'm sure hubby will take lots of pictures for you

I didn't get to see my son until the next day and didn't hold him until he was a few weeks old.
I pumped until I could bf, which was almost 2 months after he was born. I pumped every 2-3 hours and brought whatever milk I got in containers given by the NICU. They still supplemented with the high cal formula because he was a mp and I didn't produce enough.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Faith1LovesMLP:</b>"   I wanna cry every time you talk about it. Hopefully things won't be as bad as they think, and they ... [snip!] ... they can hold her up and show you for a second. Just so you can get a peek. I'm sure hubby will take lots of pictures for you"</blockquote>

My best case scenario is making it to 36 weeks even which will be the 28th and pray shell be perfect and wont need nicu time.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mrs Mia Wallace:</b>" I didn't get to see my son until the next day and didn't hold him until he was a few weeks old. I pumped ... [snip!] ... given by the NICU. They still supplemented with the high cal formula because he was a mp and I didn't produce enough."</blockquote>

I'm very grateful she won't be a MP. Shell be hopefully 35-36 weeks. But idk. There's a lot of uncertainty.