re: DELETED

I'm just gonna throw this out there and be on my way. I was worried my husband was gonna do everything wrong when our son was born and I spent the first 2 months constantly correcting him and I was wrong. I thought I knew more than him because I had read books and all kinds of stupid stuff. Once I realized it was straining our relationship I had to let it go and turns out, he knew exactly what he was doing. Maybe even better than me. I was just so worried because I didn't know what I was doing that he didn't know what he was doing either.

He wants to be a part of raising his child. That's more than a lot of men can say. Imagine how discouraging you not trusting him must be. I understand being worried, but SIDS can happen whether you're home or not. It's not like she's going to cry if it were to happen. Relax a little, from someone who has been there.

Quoting Best of both worlds ;-):" <blockquote><b>Quoting iLL-Legal Alien:</b>" What you did crossed the line of a concerned ... [snip!] ... he couldn't get her to stop crying he took her straight to his mother. Now if hes there alone my thing was what would he do."

All I'm hearing is excuses and more excuses, first it was "what if he doesn't hear her at night when he's sleeping" now "he doesn't know what to do when she's crying"
I don't think the man has a chance.

Quoting Best of both worlds ;-):" <blockquote><b>Quoting My boys = My life:</b>" It's HIS daughter too. He does not need ... [snip!] ... knew. I do allow him to be a parent it's just certain things he do when im around him with our daughter that makes me worry."

You're not cutting him ANY slack if you're not even letting him be alone with her.

OP what are you going to do when you push him completely away and he takes you to court for shared custody?? He will get her for a few days in a row.

<blockquote><b>Quoting diiamondchula:</b>" every mother has concerns. but the reality of the situation is he deserves a chance. if you never ... [snip!] ... baby. slowly increase the time hes alone with the baby. that way it eases your mind and allows him to see you really are trying"</blockquote>




Didnt really think about it like that thanks i am woman enough to admit when im wrong. Like you said ill start off small and see how things go

<blockquote><b>Quoting Andi+Andy=Marley+1:</b>" Ugh I probably would have left you too. Unfortunately for him, it seems like you are using the baby to punish him."</blockquote>




I would never use my kids to punish there father im not that type of person. He get to see his daughter and be with her i just have not left them alone for hours at a time.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Reise's Mommy:</b>" I'm just gonna throw this out there and be on my way. I was worried my husband was gonna do everything ... [snip!] ... you're home or not. It's not like she's going to cry if it were to happen. Relax a little, from someone who has been there."</blockquote>




Thanks i will give it a shot appreciate the advice

<blockquote><b>Quoting PurpleBama582:</b>" You're not cutting him ANY slack if you're not even letting him be alone with her. "</blockquote>




My concerns that i have is not the only reason i don't leave them alone i actually have to be the one to drive 2 hours just for him to spend time with her. So instead of me driving back and forth i sit there while he spend time with her.

My husband and I have 3 kids, two are his biological children. When our daughter was born it was his first. I had to help and show him how to do certain things but never once did I worry when I left her alone in his care. Now our 2nd daughter is 4 months old and I leave her alone with him as well. Just let him be a parent, he'll never get comfortable if you don't give him the chance. As far as SIDS, I am a smoker and I take care of my daughter. SIDS is either going to happen or not I believe it's really beyond our control. You can take every precaution but doesn't mean it won't happen anyway. I've seen some recent posts on here that mama's have lost their newborns to SIDS and the babies appeared to be completely healthy.