re: Swearing at children

OP how is he swearing? Is he angry at her, calls her names?

Quoting Jas ♥:" How does your 4 month old act like a little smurf?   To answer OP's question, I don't swear at them but I do swear around them."

For example when she's fighting sleep really hard. She'll be fussing and I'll say something like "Emi, mommy's really tired will you pleeease go to sleep?" Then she'll smile at me and be all cute, like she knows that I'm getting frustrated so she better amp up the cuteness. So I'll say, "You little smurf!" It's not like I'm yelling it at her or anything, it's more of a joke. And I would never say anything like that to her when she's old enough to understand what I'm saying. Plus like I said, I have a sailor's mouth so sometimes it just slips.

I think the only thing I have ever said that would be considered 'at' her is "Dangit Alice" .. Though technically that isn't cussing.

I don't like the idea of swearing AT her. I hated when it was done to me, and I have to agree that it made me feel lesser. Unless it was something like "Dammit, Larissa", but other cussings and such bothered me.

I do swear around her though, but not at her.

I don't swear at him, and I try not to swear around him.

We have had some slip ups in front of the kids but no, we don't curse at our kids and try to minimize the amount of swearing we do when they are around

If DD kicks me in the face (she kicks a lot when she gets excited, even in her sleep) and it hurts I will say "SmUrf" then I will say "Sienna that hurt." I constantly have to explain to SO that I am not yelling SmUrf at her, I just say it automatically when I get hurt. My kid gives me fat lips and bloody noses she gets so excited and starts kicking. She is 3.
I have a terrible time stopping myself from swearing around her. I try to say "Fudge" and other replacement words.

I would never say "SmUrf YOU SIENNA YOU LITTLE BITCH" or anything like that. Just typing it made my stomach flip.

Quoting Clk:" OP how is he swearing? Is he angry at her, calls her names?"

Its just becoming a regular part of his sentence kind of thing all of a sudden. Usually he is irritated and says it in an angry kind of way but he never calls her names or anything just says things like "go smurfin` play" , "...eat your smurfing dinner, first" things like that? It just makes me super uncomfortable, you just don't say that to a 3.5 yr old.... but he argues the "just words" thing...

Quoting round3:" Its just becoming a regular part of his sentence kind of thing all of a sudden. Usually he is irritated ... [snip!] ... that? It just makes me super uncomfortable, you just don't say that to a 3.5 yr old.... but he argues the "just words" thing..."

Yeah, thats something I would never tolerate..

Quoting CaityCakes:" For example when she's fighting sleep really hard. She'll be fussing and I'll say something like "Emi, ... [snip!] ... her when she's old enough to understand what I'm saying. Plus like I said, I have a sailor's mouth so sometimes it just slips."

  Wait until you have a toddler.

I swear around them I just have a filthy mouth. I swear at my 12 year old cause that is the way Iam it is a part of my language. He hasn't started to use it in front of me anyways. I grew up with a Dad that swore around us and too us growing up and I don't have any emotional effects from it. I think when you are getting yelled at it had more effect on you then the actual swears IMO! I'm trying to control my temper with my kids but my son has lot of attitude right now because of them pre teen hormones. They are not so fun. But that is what I have to work on my husband and my daughter have settled that down for me. BUT I believe in letting your children see you argue with your spouse as it is something that is normal. I don't like to be a closet fighter as I call it. My husbands parents didnt fight around him and his sister nd when we first moved into together he didnt think it was normal. He always thought we were going to break up every fight. So I'm not going to hide emotions from my children as emotions are real and they need to know it is ok to express themselves.

Quoting Jas ♥:"   Wait until you have a toddler."

Ha, I know right. I'm sure I'll be wishing for these days when she hits the terrible twos' haha.

Quoting round3:" Its just becoming a regular part of his sentence kind of thing all of a sudden. Usually he is irritated ... [snip!] ... that? It just makes me super uncomfortable, you just don't say that to a 3.5 yr old.... but he argues the "just words" thing..."

Let me know if you didn't want me to quote this one too.

It sounds like he is saying it out of anger and frustration. Giving them orders. This is something you two really need to work out. Saying the swearing as he is can affect your child.

Quoting round3:" Its just becoming a regular part of his sentence kind of thing all of a sudden. Usually he is irritated ... [snip!] ... that? It just makes me super uncomfortable, you just don't say that to a 3.5 yr old.... but he argues the "just words" thing..."

to me i dont consider that cursing at the child. i really sounds like part of his language. i do that sometimes to and my daughters dont seem hurt or bothered by it. obviously people think different ways. i can see where that can make you uncomfortable, but i dont see how that could change a person needs to want to stop talking like that for them to entirly stop cursing in that manner. you cant make somebody change-even if its because you feel uncomfortable

Quoting Mom of Tristan/Rayah +1:" I swear around them I just have a filthy mouth. I swear at my 12 year old cause that is the way Iam ... [snip!] ... So I'm not going to hide emotions from my children as emotions are real and they need to know it is ok to express themselves."

Coming from a home that had parental fighting in front of children, I want to suggest you seriously rethink this position.

Children do not have the capacity to understand the complexities of adult relationships and the challenges associated with them.

I have never found any benefit to having children witness their parents arguing in this manner.

Quoting .Colleen.:" Coming from a home that had parental fighting in front of children, I want to suggest you seriously ... [snip!] ... associated with them. I have never found any benefit to having children witness their parents arguing in this manner."

i second this. kids remember, and it hurts.